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Thanks to every single one of you out there who is reading this book right now. PLEASE COMMENT to let me know how I'm doing. Love all of you :D

~Audrey out



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The roads were slick. Rain pattered against the car window. The sky was a gray abyss. Headlights and taillights shone through the gloom. A dense fog hesitated on the horizon.

I had my mom tuned out with my music. Eyes On Fire blared in my earplugs. The song was depressing, yet comforting in some odd way. It was like a drug. I couldn't stop listening. Once sunken in the haze of music, I began to drift.

Yesterday had been interesting. Jesse met me at the creek, same spot as usual. Something felt different between us though. It was like an unseen force pulling us together. Tightening us. Making the air tense. Whenever he touches me, my heart rate jumps about fifty paces. I have to force myself to stay calm. If I get one of those rounds of pain in front of him, that would just humiliate me. He would probably never want to see me again. He would think I was a freak.

I thought about yesterday again. Jesse taught me how to use fireworks. At first I was scared, afraid to even light a match. Jesse smiled patiently and showed me how to do it. He took my hands in his, lighting the firecracker. It shot red sparks into the sky. The woods echoed with the boom. Surprisingly, I wasn't scared one bit. Actually, it was quite exciting. No wonder he loved fireworks so much.

I smiled thinking about it. With my head against the car window, I felt the cool glass press against my face. The road was gray. Outside looked dull. Lifeless. I felt something damp press to my cheek. That's when I realized it was the window. It was cold. Just like another window I remember. I cringed at the thought. It was from a time I never wanted to remember. Yet never could forget. The memory bubbled into my mind, surfacing like a wave.

The scene played out before me.

I was in the doctors office. I had come in for a check up, like I did every so often. I remember the doctors crisp white suits, the glasses sliding down their noses. The doctors were taking my weight, testing my heart rate, all the regular things. Dr. Lance, my main doctor said I needed an MRI. Just to make sure my bones were placing together correctly. My mom was a little worried, but Dr. Lance assured her it was a normal thing. Since I was pretty tall for my age, they wanted to make sure my bone structure was strong.

So I took the MRI.

It was easy enough. I just slid into the solid white machine, tucking my arms in around me. I sat there for thirty minutes. When it was finally over, the doctors helped me out. One thing I noticed was that they wouldn't meet my eyes. Dr. Lance had a stiff posture, almost too formal. It made me awry. Scared.

I remember waiting in the doctors office for over two hours. It drove me insane. My mom waited with me, silent with worry. Her eyebrows were pinched together. Crease lines stroked across her forehead. She held my hand firmly in hers.

Then I saw the double doors at the end of the hall open. Dr. Lance came out. His gait had a solemn attitude. My heart rate accelerated. What would he say? Was something wrong with me? That's when my mom squeezed my hand even harder. Dr. Lance came to a stop in front of us. His mouth was set in a grim line. His hands grasped a bundle of papers. His eyes locked on mine.

That's when he gave me the news.

The news that changed my life forever.



Later, when the shock had worn off, and my mom and stopped crying, he explained every detail. He said the left section of my brain is slowly deteriorating. He said there was no way to operate. No way to survive.

He showed my mom all the papers he had. They were all about how to cope with a brain tumor and others that have had it. I sat on an uncomfortable chair in the waiting room while they talked. I didn't want to hear them. I didn't want to be here.

I remember the cool glass of the window pressed against my face. It felt almost like ice. Almost like......

Water.

I came back to reality. The car seemed like a foreign place to me know. I realized my iPod was playing on repeat. I stopped the song. My thoughts swirled, and I took a deep breath. It's over, Willow. I had to tell myself. No more doctors. No more MRIs. No more crying.

I looked over at Mom, who was bobbing her head to the radio. It made my spirits a little lighter. If my mom was happy enough to sing to the radio, I should be happy too. She must be relieved to get away from all the drama in town.

Suddenly, my phone jingled. Who would be texting me? The only person who would was right next to me. It couldn't be Penelope, because we had talked on the phone before I left. And I didn't really talk to anyone else.... I snatched my phone out of my back pocket. An unknown number sprawled across the screen. I narrowed my eyes, trying to remember if I gave someone my number.

Nope.

I clicked on the message, half expecting a girl from school, half expecting a spam. It was neither.

'Ret tied his shoes together ;)'

I read the message and laughed out loud. Jesse! How did he get my number?

I realized my mom was staring at me like I was insane. I must have looked insane, laughing at my phone.

"Oh I got a text." I explained.

She smiled and continued singing away. It made me smile. Maybe she had quit worrying about me. At least for now.

I texted Jesse back quickly.

'No poor Ret! And how did u get my number? Stalker(;'

I couldn't quit smiling.

My phone jingled, and I felt butterflies swarm in my stomach at his reply.

'Well, you know I only stalk beautiful girls ;)'

I turned to the window, feeling my face flush. I could imagine him with a devilish smirk on right now. He knew how to make me blush without even being here! I typed back quickly.

'Oh stop it! Your making me blush c: seriously how did u get my number?'

He wrote back, and suddenly all the pieces fell into place.

'The other night, when we saw the Little Dipper. Haha u kinda fell asleep for a bit... ;D'

No. Way. He found my phone in my back pocket. When I was asleep! How did he.....No. I couldn't even imagine the scene. It made me turn beet red. I had to hide my face under my hair so my mom wouldn't notice. Somehow, though, it made me smile. He found my phone and programmed it in his phone. It was sweet in some sick way. He wanted to talk to me while I was away. Jesse did his work like a detective. It made me like him even more. If that was possible.

The next three days went by fairly quickly. Probably because I spent most of my time texting Jesse. When we arrived, Aunt Jolie hugged each of us tightly. She welcomed us inside with her version of a smile. She lived all alone, because she didnt have a husband. I felt pity for her. It must be so lonely. Her house was a small apartment, just enough for two bedrooms. I took the couch.

Aunt Jolie wasn't as mean as I thought she would be. Yes, she looked horrendous, with her blood red lipstick, and frizzy hair. But she treated me generously. She hugged me often, and even complemented me on my eating habits. This made me rethink things a little bit. She was practically a different person. I shouldn't be so quick to judge her.

We went out to eat a few nights. We watched movies and socialized. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Mom and Aunt Jolie talked for hours on end. They would sit on the sofa, drinks in their hands, and chatter all day. They talked about their lives, money, neighbors, churches, friends, parents, you name it. They even talked about my tumor. I left when I heard where the conversation was going. But I wasn't far. I could hear my mom sniffling. My Aunt Jolie's comforting words. It made me sorry for both if them. After all, this was never my choice to die. During this whole time, I was texting Jesse. He always kept up the conversation. Even deep into the night, he would stay up and write to me. Sometimes he teased me, and sometimes he said the sweetest things.

It made my heart melt.

I wanted to see him badly. So, on the day that we left, I was relieved. It was great stay, but I was glad it was over. My mom and I packed our things into the car. We loaded snacks from Aunt Jolie into the back for along the way. I was ready to go. So after I gave Jolie a hug, I walked to the car. The sky was a clear light blue. No clouds were in sight. A chill swept through the air. The nearby trees rustled along with the wind. There was a sudden murmur. A whisper caught in the air. It rushed by my ears, floating through my senses.

"Promise me. When she's gone, you must stay here with me. Don't blank out like you did with Willow's father."

The words made me realize.

When I'm gone, I'll be taking the last person in our family with me.

My mom will only have Jolie.