Harry Potter book 2

Game day

Luke green( he's a ravenclaw student doing the commentary for the game)
Luke:  welcome everyone to quidditch game day today match is Slytherin vs hufflepuff
Luke: the game is neck to neck
Steven: *tries get the snitch*
Jacobe: *holds on*
Oliver: Jacobe do it
Selena: baby come on
Lexie: beat there asses
Jacobe: *get on the broom* *flies*
Jacobe: *grab the snitch*
Luke: winner are hufflepuff Jacobe grabbed snitch
Hufflepuff crowds: Jacobe !! Jacobe Jacobe
Dean: holy shit we won
Steven: *flies towards us* your going regret that jacobe
Jacobe: I am not scared
After the game in the great hall
Marsia: food !!
Selana: baby you did so good I am going sign up be a cheerleader
Jacobe: oh lord yes
Gumdrop: let's go !!!
Jacobe: yes cheer me on bestie
Vix: let's see how you go against gryffindor
Jacobe: we are winner this year
Mitch: good luck
The crew laughs and talks
Carlos: Steven
Steven: stop talking to me mudblood
Carlos: stop calling me that
Steven: your a mudblood your a unless space
Carlos: thank you
Steven: go away !
Carlos: ok daddy *run away*
Orel: I am bored
Terrance: orel Stephanie said god is a n-word
Orel run over to stepanine
Orel: how dare you say god is a n-word god is a white man
Stepahine: I never said that
Orel: *punch stepahine* *misses*
Stepahine: wow I was expecting to be hit
Draco: Orel stop
Orel: god is white not a n-word
Tyler: why this cracker saying
Orel: I am sorry Mr.monkey did I offend you
Steven: Terrance what did you say
Terrance: the kid is a retard he felt for it *laughs*
Gumdrop: what we doing today
Carlos: everyone !!
Draco: Carlos no
Carlos; everyone is invited to my restaurant Carlos fazbear pizza
Jacobe: that's sound oddly familiar
Vix: yeah freddy fazbear it was a restaurant in the USA it shut down for some reason
Carlos: yeah you guys going to come
Draco: Carlos it's 8am we have class
Carlos: fine
Draco: retards to class nornal students let's go
In retard class
Draco: everyone today ron is teaching you
Ron: aright losers I am here
Terrence: why I am with retards
Ron: sit down before I break ur arm
Terrance: do it Pussy
Ron: who are you
Terrance: Terrance Gavin
Ron: oh fuck that ur mother is Allison she was crazy
At a Starbucks
Allison walks on
Allison: ready for my order
Starbucks lady: yes what you want
Allison: I want a iced venti sugar free vanilla latte with one pump of toffee nut syrup then light ice I will count 10 shot of espresso and almond milk got it
Lady: yes *make it*
Allison takes a slip
Allison: is this 2% milk
Lady: no I swear Nile
Nile: yeah
Lady: did you put 2%
Nile: yeah
Lady: oh no
Allison: so it's wrong
Nile: we can remake it
Allison; *avada karada*
The killing curse hits lady
Lady dies
Nile: shit Mike we got to go
Allison: *fire another spell* die !!!
Nile burst into flames
Lena: stop it I am the manager
Allison grabs lena neck and snaps it
Allison: *avada kerbra*
Mike dies on the ground
Allison the set the Starbucks on fire
Hour later the Aurors arrive
Hermoine: 5 people killed
Auror: cause of death
Hermoine: two killing curse one neck twist and a fire spell and one body was cut in half
Hermoine: we need figure out who did this
At hogwarts
Draco: retards we are learning jinx curses and spells
Carlos: what's a Janx a curve and a spall
Draco: god you make me angry
Draco: so today i will be teaching you the laughing jinx
Terrance: that's stupid it's literally unless
Draco: this is the retard class if you have a problem switch out oh wait you can't cause you almost killed ur sister not sit the fuck down
Ron: I will continue the lesson
Draco leaves
Ron: alright retards let's learn you lift ur wand and say laughis
Carlos: laugh penis
Ron: no bad Carlos *tries hit him*
Carlos; ahhhh penis cheese burgers cheese burgers
Marsia; *laughis* the spell fire at Ron
Ron begins to laugh like crazy
Ron: stop it *laughs*
Ron: alright now test on these dummies
Orel: laughis !!!
The spell hits Carlos
Ron: no you idiot the dummies
Orel: well he is a dummy
Shapey: ahhhhhhhh
Catherine: *look at Carlos* that's a sexy man
Marsia: hey that's my man
Catherine: no it's mine
Skyler: ladies and cow that's my man
Marsia: *slap Skyler* ur a cow
Skyler: I want you slap me again mommy
Marsia: oh yeah
Ron: ewww stop it gays stop thsts gay
Hassan: Durga wnat be my gf
Durga; i thought you hated India
Hassan: I don't care I want be with you
Durga: Sure
Jonah: Kaden Otis I want you ram my hole
Skyler: can I watch
Ron: what the actual fuck
Kaden: are you homophobic
Ron: no I don't like gays
Kaden: that's homophobic
With Draco
Jacobe: *farts*
The whole class laughs
Draco: I was going say this is better then the retards
Selena: are we
Draco: yes
Jacobe: so what we doing
Draco: let's go walking
Selena: why you so happy
Draco: i just love being with my students
Jacobe; what you want
Selena; yeah
Draco: well I want a date with Hermoine
Vix: haha ur funny she married
Gumdrop: well didn't she want divorce him ?
Jacobe; yeah
Draco: let's go
The Normal kids go for a nice walk
In the retard class
Carlos hang from the ceiling
Ron: Carlos get down
Carlos: I am a monkey !!!
Jonah: yo dawg that's racist *looks at pictures of kids*
Kaden: Jonah  don't do that
Jonah: black !!!
Marisa: *run*
Ron: everyone get the fuck in ur sit before I beat you all
Hermoine: Ronald these kids have mental problems
Ron: I was going actually hit them
Hermoine: Ron we need talk
Carlos: *screams*
Ron: that's it Carlos
Ron begins spanking Carlos
Carlos: tape tape I am being taped !!!
Hermoine; Ron stop it
Carlos cries
Ron: everyone in line
Hermione: Ron it's over
Ron: no Hermoine please don't
Carlos: ur a pedo !!!
Ron: what did you say
Marsia: yeah Ron is a pedo
Ron: I am not a pedo
Carlos: you raped me
Ron: I just spanked you
Carlos : ahhh
Ron: all I did was spank him
Hermoine: you shouldn't have done it
Carlos run to Draco
Carlos; Draco Ron raped me
Draco; I highly doubt that
Ron: I didn't do anything
Kaden: he did I saw it
Ron: it was a spanking on his butt
Draco: you shouldn't have done it
Ron: well fuck that
Draco: well ur fired
Ron: no I need this job
Draco: you touched Carlos and I don't like that fucker
Ron: I never did
Kaden: I can show you the recordings
Draco: I have go to my favourite student bye *run away*
Ron: alright class it's keep going
Hermoine: Ron
Ron: yes baby
Hermoine: *throw divorce papers* let's get these signed
Ron: but my wife
Hermoine: I don't love you anymore
Ron: yes you do
Hermoine: no I dont that's gross
Ron: Carlos come here
Carlos: yes don
Ron punch Carlos in the face
Carlos pass out on the floor
Skyler: he hit Carlos
Hermoine: wtf
Ron: *keep Punching Carlos*
Hugo: dad stop it
Ron: I am going kill Him
Hugo drags his dad out of the school
Ron: I didn't do anything
Carlos: I am going to La
Jacobe: Carlos stop making this a big deal
Carlos: no jacobe I was raped and I most stand with All the little girls
Gumdrop: but you like young kids
Carlos: yup that's why I am doing it
In La
Carlos: hi I am Carlos
Dr:phill: so Carlos was telling me he's teacher taped him
Carlos: yeah is there any little girls here
Dr.phill; what did this teacher do
Carlos: he called me a retarded
Dr.phill; wow and he's here with you right now
Ron walks out
The crowds boos him
Ron: fuck off I only spanked the fucker
At hogwarts
Hermione: this is so embarrassing
Draco: wow how can this get worse
At dr.phill
Dr.phill; Ron what made you like kids
Ron: i never touched him
Carlos; yes you did I have a recoding
The recording plays
Kaden: hi I am kaden I am going be on tv
The clip  plays of Ron hitting Carlos
Dr.phill: oh you just hit him
Ron: yes !!
Dr.phill: so you beat ur student
Ron: I don't see a problem with that
Carlos starts faking crying
Dr.Phil: so no one got raped
Carlos; he emotionally scar me
Dr.phill: wow what a fucker
Carlos see a little girl
Carlos: hey cutie
Dr.phill; Carlos that young girl is like 5
Carlos: yeah that's what I like them at
Dr.phill: leave
Ron: *fire a spell for everyone to forget*
Ron: I can't believe you touched that girl
Carlos: she was hot
At hogwarts
Draco: both of you are idiots
Ron: what did I do
Draco: well ur ginger and Carlos is stupid
Ron: it's nice be back At the school
Albus: ur not allowed back
Ron; why
Draco: cause ur stupid
Hermoine: leave Ronald no one wants you here
Ron run away
Somewhere in Italy
Romero: stupid bastard
Feliciano: Romero what's wrong
Romero: *faked cries* I am alone and no one loves me
Ludwig: well if you weren't
Feliciano; Ludwig stop it
Ludwig: *whispers* asshole
Romero: I am going find love
Feliciano: good luck brother *mumbles* Asshole
Romero goes to a bar in the uk
Arthur: what's wrong Romero
Romero: fuck off
Ron: I hate my life
Arthur: hey Ron
Ron; shut up gay
Romero: you tell people to shut up to
Ron: yeah
The song died in my arms tonight as Romero looks at Ron
The two assholes talk
Romero: I had a great time
Ron: yeah yeah whatever *leaves*
Arthur: ur in love my boy
Romero: I wouldn't love a British eww
To be continued