Chapter 5

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Monday comes, and I find myself in a very cheerful mood and, for the first time in a while, not dreading going to biology class. I take my seat as usual next to Lisa, and we chat amiably about the class and our plans for the upcoming spring break. My body is in class, but my mind is not there. I wonder what Conn will be doing for spring break. In fact, since Saturday night all I can think about is Conn, his kisses, and his hands on me. I desperately try to focus on the lecture, but my eyes keep looking at the clock. Finally, only ten more minutes left.

As I leave the lecture hall and begin walking toward the library, I see Conn. He is walking toward me with that smile that I love, the one that gives me butterflies in my stomach. As he reaches me, I smile back and ask, "Are you going to the library?"

His eyes twinkle as he replies, "Yes, I am. I know a very good quiet place to study. Do you need to do some studying before your next class?"

A thrill of excitement runs through me. "In fact, I do need to get some studying done." We continue to walk into the library, but strangely this time he is not holding my hand. My mind wanders as I ask myself a thousand questions, yet I'm following him faithfully down the library stairs to the lower level and toward the back where there are large, tall bookshelves and a few scattered tables with chairs. He selects the table that is located near a corner and is obscured from view. Setting down his book bag on the table, he takes off his leather jacket and points to the chair next to him. I follow his lead and do the same; then I sit in the chair next to him, realizing that I'm now sandwiched between the wall and him. I feel the butterflies crazily fluttering in my stomach, and my heart begins to race. Trying desperately to distract my- self, I begin to unpack my bag and search for my psychology notes. He bites his lower lip and slowly takes out his notes. We begin studying in silence. I'm desperately trying to focus on my notes, but all my senses are registering him. The heat emanating from his powerful body and the scent of his skin mixed with his cologne is driving me mad. I suddenly peer over and look at what he is reading; they're notes for one of his business classes. He stretches and puts his arm behind my chair as I turn toward him. "Let's take a break," he suggests as his hand begins to ca- ress my shoulder. At this I feel extremely nervous. For heaven's sake, we are in the school library, I tell myself.

Did he sense my unease? He casually gets up and says, "Let's take a walk; sometimes when you're studying, it's helpful to distract the mind and then refocus on the notes so you can be more productive." I stand automatically, and he takes me by the hand. We begin strolling through the library stacks. We get to the end of an aisle that culminates at the cinder-block wall. He begins to look at some books, and, sparked by curiosity, I look in the same direction only to end up staring into his eyes, which seem to hold me in my place. He takes a step closer to me, and I take a step back. He smiles and takes my other hand as he continues to get closer. As I gaze into his eyes, I feel that tingling heat and pull in the region between my upper thighs. Trying to compose myself, I briefly close my eyes, only to realize that he is tenderly kissing and embracing me. My limbs act of their own ac- cord as my arms go around his neck and my body unconsciously leans into him.

A deep groan escapes him as he tightens his hold on me. His kisses slowly transition from sweet and gentle to intense and demanding. I'm lost in a fog. I open my mouth to grant him access, and he explores my mouth with his tongue. Overcome by desire, I suddenly suck- le his tongue as if it's a wonderful piece of candy. I feel his body suddenly tense as he leans into me further. I'm backed against the wall, and he's kissing me feverishly;

my mouth and my body demand more. I kiss him deeply and let one hand roam by his neck as I touch the soft curls of his head, and my other hand roams down his back and feels his muscles tight under his shirt. He begins to trail kisses down my neck, and I'm lost to the world. He passes my collarbone, lingers there for a few moments, and continues to kiss and lick further down. I'm panting, feeling dizzy with all these emotions exploding within me, and squeeze his shoulder trying to hold on to this moment. Suddenly I feel the top button of my blouse open, and his mouth is on me again, relentless, kissing and licking the upper swells of my breasts. One hand cups my breast while stroking the hardened nipple with his thumb, while the other hand is on my thigh. Pleasure and desire are pulsing through my body. I pull him closer to me in an effort to feel more, to be as close to him as possible. With his hand firmly in place on my breast, he works my nipple with his thumb until I feel I'm going insane as he continues to kiss my neck toward my ear and whispers, "I want you." As he reaches my mouth, his kisses become deep and urgent; he presses himself against me, and I feel a bulge rubbing against my midsection. My back is pressed against the cool cinder-block wall and him in front of me. Breathing heavily, he's gazing at me as he thrusts his hips, rubbing against my midsection. He closes his eyes and thrusts again as he murmurs, "Lord! You are killing me."

Quietly, hand in hand, we return to our seats at the table. My legs feel weak, and my head is spinning. I casually glance down and notice that his jeans are still bulging, and I feel inwardly proud that I can have such an effect on this gorgeous guy. As I look up, I notice that he is watching me with a look crossed between questioning and amazed. I grin, nervously biting my lower lip, and start fidgeting with my belongings. Suddenly I no- tice that I've got ten minutes to get to my next class on the other side of the building. I panic and hastily throw everything into my book bag while telling Conn, "I have to go, or I'm going to be late."

He's shuffling papers and replies calmly as he looks at his crotch and then back at me, "I need to get some things settled, so I'm going to hang out here for a while."

I feel my face turning red, and a nervous giggle es- capes me. Quickly, I bend down and give him a quick kiss on the lips; then I grab my stuff and dash for the stairs.

Psychology class is as usual boring. I'm happy and relieved when it finally ends. Exiting the lecture hall, I'm half expecting to see him there waiting for me, but he isn't. My heart drops, and I slowly walk down the hall, wondering where he could be. I replay our morning tryst in my mind, trying to analyze every aspect of it. He re- ally seems to be attracted to me. I'm nothing out of this world. I wonder what he sees in me. Do all guys act like that? I'm plagued by endless questions and self-doubt as I walk toward the parking lot.

As I reach my car, I notice there is a piece of paper on the windshield. Worrying that it's a ticket, I run toward my car, only to discover that it's a note from Conn. "Hey, I had to go to work early today. Will call you tonight." My heart skips a beat, and a feeling of happiness washes over me as I get in my car and turn on the radio. Sinead O'Connor's song "Nothing Compares to You" is playing. I turn up the radio and sing along as I head home to get ready for my shift at the restaurant. 

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