Awakenings: The Greek, The Russian and Me

Chapter 11

As I drive back to Astoria to meet Erick at the library, all I can think about is Conn. Shit, the few times that I actually managed to sleep last night, he was there in my dreams. As I lay awake in bed, all I could do was replay the events of last evening. This morning I feel exhausted and just want a nap. Trying to keep my mind occupied, I recount to myself all the things that I still need to do as my part of the project and the other long list of items that also need to be completed. Fortunately I find a parking spot near the library. I sit in the car for a few minutes in silence with my eyes closed. I could sleep right here, I tell myself as I take a deep breath.

Suddenly I jump in my seat as I hear a knock on the window. Startled and grasping the steering wheel tightly, I look and see Conn standing there with an amused expression on his face. Oh, hell, this is the last thing I need right now, I tell myself as I open the car door and get out. "What are you doing here? Are you stalking me? Miss me already?" he says with a cocky grin.

Surprised and halfway infuriated by his assumptions, I blurt out, "Of course not! I'm here to meet Erik; we are working on an assignment for school."

Oh heavens! I shouldn't have told him that. His face changes to a controlled rage for a moment and then shifts to an indifferent look. "You didn't mention you were meeting up with anyone today," he says in a steely voice.

"You didn't ask, and I'm running late," I retort hotly as I try to step around him. In a flash I feel the grip of his hand on my upper arm, and my eyes automatically go from looking at his grasp to looking straight into his eyes. Good Lord, he looks very upset, almost angry.

"What time do you expect to be finished?" he asks in a low voice.

"I don't know; we have a lot of work to do. You are welcome to join us if you want," I say as I gently pull my arm away.

Letting go of my arm, he says, "I'll call you tonight. I have to go, or I'll be late to work." He walks away without a backward glance toward me. Feeling utterly confused, I just stand there watching him walk away. Did I do some- thing wrong? What in the world? I ask myself as a feeling of emptiness fills the pit of my stomach.

Walking into the library lost in thoughts, I see Erik sitting at a round table bent over a book. I walk quietly toward him and ask, "Is this seat taken?"

He looks up, and I see him genuinely smile at me as he stands up to greet me. "Glad you could make it," he says as he pats my shoulder, and we both take a seat. He's wearing jeans, a T-shirt, and sneakers. I totally feel relaxed by his side and not self-conscious, as I too am in jeans and a T-shirt. "I got here early and pulled the books that have the case studies we have to read and present. I've made copies of them; we can split them up and get this done pretty fast," he says with a grin.

Surprised at his efficiency, I reply, "Sure, so which ones am I doing?" as I put on my reading glasses.

He hands me two case studies, and we both begin to read in silence. Ten minutes pass, and I can't seem to focus; thoughts of Conn are going through my head, but at the same time, I feel excited and happy around Erik. Unconsciously I've been playing with my pencil and snap it in two. As I stare at the pencil, I feel a warm hand rub my back as Erik says in a caring voice, "Hey, are you okay? This is nothing to be stressed about; we will get it done in plenty of time."

Unaware of my actions, I briefly lean my head on his shoulder and say, "No, I just have a lot of things on my mind, and I didn't get enough sleep last night."

His arm automatically comes around my shoulder in a brief but comforting hug. "Let's go over the outline for the project, get it started, and take a break for lunch. If you're up to it, we can continue after lunch." He still has his arm around me and is mere inches from my face. I freeze for a moment as our eyes meet, and we gaze at each other in silence. He grins slightly and says, "You smell really nice," as he drops his arm and looks toward the stack of papers. What is happening to me? I ask myself as I notice that my arm has goose bumps. Lord, he has beautiful dark-blue eyes; I could just look at them all day. Why am I even looking into his eyes? Oh man, this is not good. He's a friend, is he not? No, not really; I barely know him. Well, I barely know Conn either. They are so different, yet I like spending time with both of them. The argumentative conversation in my mind rages on as I close my eyes and place my head in the palm of my hands. Think of the task at hand and your career goals, I tell myself. Taking a deep breath, I refocus and attempt once more to work on the assignment.