Abandoned

Chapter 16

Sorry, I am so bad at updating. It turns out that writing a story with you best friend is harder than I thought lol. But here is an update for you all. I know I'm terrible and I keep leaving you on cliff hangers and then to updating for a couple of weeks, so sorry about that. Enjoy!

Mr Blackbourne's POV

" Slow down, take a deep breath." I could see she was panicking and couldn't get her words out.

" I can't – I can't." She was gasping for air now. Even with red eyes, she was still beautiful.

I tipped her face towards me so that she was looking into my eyes. Her eyes glistened with tears an looked like gems. " Miss Sorenson, breath with me. In... and out." I demonstrated and she did it with me. It seemed to calm her down for the moment." Now, do you want to tell me what your doing?" I said softly. I needed to do it carefully, she needed to open up or I couldn't help her.

" I can't look at myself anymore." She whispered so quietly I could hardly hear. I knew it before. Why didn't I ask her about it, I could have prevented this. My arms wrapped tighter around her. I breathed in the sweet smell of her shampoo, thinking carefully about my next question. I wish she knew how every single one of the boys thought about her, how I thought about her.

" Why didn't you tell anyone?" I asked. She couldn't trust us. It broke through my stern exterior and broke my heart that she was starving herself because she thought she was fat and she couldn't tell us.

" Because I can't. I can't eat, it makes me sick. I can't look at food without thinking about what it's doing to me. I can't wear the clothes you all buy me. The new clothes were too big, you all think I'm too fat. You bought big clothes so they would fit." Couldn't she see that it was the opposite. She didn't see that it was her who had lost weight, not that the boys thought she was big.

" you're starving yourself." I put plainly. Her eyes brimmed with tears. A drop slid down her cheek and I tenderly brushed it away.

" Don't you see, I'm too fat for anyone to love me. I'm not good enough for anyone, I'm never enough." She paused and took another deep breath, " When I look in the mirror, I see fragments, fragments of a mirror that should be whole, but instead it's broken and can't be fixed. That mirror is me. Broken, in pieces and unable to be fixed." I was at a loss for words after that speech. I looked at her in my arms. I didn't see someone fat or someone who can't be fixed. I saw someone who needed love. She needed caring for and somebody who would never leave.

" Miss Sorenson I," I didn't know what to say. It was the first time I had ever been speechless. " You are beautiful, smart, kind and funny.You're so talented, but you still think that you are not enough. You think that your body needs to be a certain way for us to like you or for anyone to like you. You are beautiful just they way you are, why do you think you need to change? Your body needs food to survive and right now, you aren't getting enough of it." I paused thinking about my next words carefully. " Look in the mirror again and imagine it's not you. See that girl, she's only 9, she has a life and a future ahead of her, but she thinks she isn't good enough. She thinks she needs to starve herself to look pretty. Look at what she's doing to herself. What would you tell her?" I was trying to get her to understand. I looked at her, waiting for an answer.

" I would tell her that she doesn't need to change for anyone. She should enjoy life before she grows up. I would tell her to eat or she will become ill." Miss Sorenson said, her eyes shutting just briefly for a second.

" That's good advice, so why can't you take your own advice? You are no different to that 9 year old girl. You still have a life ahead of you and you think you don't need to eat. Miss Sorenson, you're slowly killing yourself. Each time you deprive your body of food, the weaker it becomes and soon your organs will stop working properly. Is it worth doing that to yourself just for a body that's accepted by society? You can never satisfy society, they will always have something to say about the way you look, but you can accept yourself and know your own worth."