'Mooooooonnneeeeyyyy' The desperate cry echoed through the halls of Hogwarts as a certain Sirius Black raced towards the great hall, James Potter hot on his heals and Peter Petigrew trailing behind.
'Mooney! Mooney!!! Moone-' Sirius was cut off as he collided into a confused Remus Lupin. James skidded to a halt behind him and was promptly knocked over by Peter, who had gathered too much momentum and was unable to stop.
Remus stared at the heap of tangled, flailing limbs and gingerly took the book that Sirius was waving at him.
'What is it?' he asked, curious despite himself. If Sirius had wanted to give it to him this badly then it could be nothing good.
'Just read it please Mooney?' the dark haired boy begged.
'Fine,' Remus sighed, opening the black leather tome. The front was embossed with the word Twilight and the image of an apple. Two seconds later Remus was curled up in a ball, rocking backwards and forwards, tears streaming down his cheeks.
'What is it Mooney?' James shrieked. 'What has the book done to you!!!!'
'What? I can't even...hdfdjjklsh...mwah meep blah...help' Remus started rocking again as he was engulfed by a huge sob.
A lightbulb clicked over Sirius' head as he turned to James. Said lightbulb was then stolen by Peeves, who proceeded to throw it at a group of forst-years. Ignoring the screams and sounds of breaking glass, Sirius tried to explain to James what he had realised.
'I think that the awful plot and grammar have destroyed Remus' inner nerd and Grammer Nazi! He can't function properly.' James gasped whilst Peter screamed and fainted.
'There is only one solution,' James whispered. 'Burn the book.'
And so after a ceremonial burning of Twilight, order and peace was restored to Hogwarts.
THE END
