Am I Alone?

I Can't Speak...

I walk in the house as i see Kian putting his hoodie heading towards  the door. We catch eyes "Dude! I was about to look for you!", I look at the floor feeling bad. "I went to the mall with Emily". "Dude it's fine you're an adult just tell me next time please!" he says pushing past me to head outside. I Sit on the steps by him as he lights a cigarette. "Since when did you start smoking?" i ask him. "Since life got tough, mainly after Andrea" he response after he blows smoke into the air. I shake my head, watching him smoke. He smokes as we both sit in silence staring at the sunset. The smoke goes up in the purple sky. As we watch the sunset, you hear Connor's phone camera shutter go off  as the take pictures for tumblr and instagram. He finish taking 50 pics and walk back into the house. 
(Btw Connor,Kian,Ricky and me have a house together. Trevor and Sam lives down the street and Ricardo lives in another city). 
He puts is cigarette out and exhales the last breath of smoke. He walks inside and i fallow him back in. I walk upstairs and go into my room. I straighten up the floor. Ricky walks inside without even knocking "So Jc you know we ended O2L and i'm moving out and i suggest ya'll do the same because there is no point of staying here". I just looked shocked at the words that rolled off of Ricky's tongue with ease.He walks out and walk in Kian's room and repeats himself. I punch my bed. and lay with my head on the bed and my knees on my floor. My phone goes of it's Kian "Meet me outside" I don't respond i just walk downstairs and sit on the porch with Kian : do you hear this bull crap Jc!" he yells while he light another cigarette, "Yeah," i pause staring at his bright red face "I agree it's bull crap". " I don't want to move away from you mainly Jc" he says exhaling. I i smirk "We could get a place together Kian, i mean we're getting a channel together anyways" i say in low voice as i stare at the stars. He hugs me "I thought you'd never ask" he says smiling. He put his cigrett out and puts in back in the pack. "Don't take this as i like you in a gay way!" Kian say giggling. I put my hand over my heart "I thought are love was real!" i say in offended voice "I'm sorry, but my heart belongs no another!" he says cracking up. "Why Kian you broke my heart!" I say pretending to cry and running inside. Connor holding his coffee in the living room just stairs at me "Do you guys need to come out to me?" he says laughing. "Yes Connor it's true i've fallen for Kian" I say pacing the back of my head on my forehead in a dramatic way. "I knew it!" he says laughing. "But for real ya'll are kinda gay for etch other" he says raising one eyebrow at me. "No we're just close". "Uh-huh" he says winking as he sits down.  "Whatever dude" i say walking upstairs. I grab my keys and head out to grab boxes so i can pack up. I walk drive past Emily crying and walking. I stop the car "Emily?" I say looking at her, she wipes her tears "Oh hey Jc" she says sniffling. "Wanna talk about it?" i ask opening the passenger door. She jumps in "Rather get my mind off of it". "Alright buckle up" i say as we drive towards Walmart. She turns on radio as she buries her head in her crossed arms. I rubs her shoulder. We park the car. She unbuckles and climbs on top of me and hugs me tightly. I hug her back as she buries her head in my shoulder.  After we hug it out she gets out of the car and we head towards the door. She grabs my hand tightly as we walk in. As we walk around the store in silince she finnaly says something.....she says that she loves me and i can't speak....