Am I Alone?

Why Would I Do That!

I wake up at 3 in the afternoon and i smell something burning. I roll of my bed and hit the floor. I finally get back up to my feet and go down stairs to see whats burning. I see Kian asleep in his crossed arms at the table, i turned my head to the stove and pancakes were on fire. "Kian!" i scream, as i fill up a cup of water to put the flames out. "What?" Kian mumbles with his lips pressed on his arms. "You almost burned the house down!" I say as i splash the pancakes. The flame goes out right away but smoke fills the room. Kian's head pops up "Crap!" Kian says looking at the smoke everywhere. He stumbles to the sliding door in the kitchen and slides it open to let the smoke out. "Why would you try cooking if you were sleepy, you idiot!" i say smacking my first on the counter. Kian frowns as his eyes water up "I was up late worried about you and i though pancakes would make you happy" Kian says with a sniffle. "Look i'm sor-" Kian cuts me off "Whatever Jc, i'm going to Tatyana's!" Kian stops out of the kitchen. "First the movie now this" Kian says to himself. "Kian be safe, I lo-" i stop myself from saying those words "What?" Kian yells from the door way "I said be safe!" i say blushing, which luckily he can't see. "Okay whatever Jc..i will" Kian slams the door. I sit on the chair and stare into space as i think of how much of an idiot I've been i slam my head on the table. Ricky walks in "1.) Who burned something? and 2.)Why is Kian mad at you?" Ricky asks with a grossed out face "1.) Kian burned pancakes 2.) I yelled at him and 3.) Whats your face?" i reply to Ricky with one eyebrow cocked. "1.) Go figure 2.) Why? and 3.) It smells with sweaty socks which lite on fire!" Ricky says gagging. "Oh, well yeah.." i respond as i go back into thought. Ricky rolls up a magazine and smacks my shoulder "What!" i spin around "You never answered me, why did you yell at you best friend" Ricky asks pulling a chair up by me. "It's complicated, i can't explain it. I would of never usually done that...and i guess i was mad about other things so i just took out on him. Which was dumb because i hate hurting those i love" i say frowning. "Sorry but did you just say "love"?" Ricky says with his eyes widened "Well yeah...he's my best friend and i couldn't imagine life with out him!" i say smirking. Ricky grins "Best friends?" he say patting my leg as he walks away. I wasn't even mad this time. Kian walks in door as i start cleaning the pancake pan off. I hear a woman giggle Tatyana is on Kian's back as he walks into the kitchen and sits her on the table. He kisses her lips and then walks to where i am he reaches in the cabinet beside me and grabs a glass without saying a word to me, he then continues to get Tatyana a drink. Tatyana start laughing super hard, Kian the joins her "What?" i ask as i look at Kian. "You forgot your pants upstairs" Kian says pointing at my legs. I look down and i'm in my boxers. I roll my eyes "It's my house" i say as finish washing the pan. "Doesn't mean you can be pants-less" Kian laughs at me. "Yes it does...that's why i am" i say as i walk out of the kitchen. I storm up stairs. I slam my door shut and i turn my phone back on I have 17 massages They all pretty much say "Sorry", "Take me back", "Do you hate me", "I miss you" *ect* i roll my eyes. I just hit "Mark all read". I never plan on writing her back. I slide my skinny jeans on and walk back down stairs with my phone in my hand. It goes off again i look down "Jc plz write me baby!" i look back up and Kian and Tatyana are making out on the couch. I walk out of the room quickly...usually i'm not awkward about that stuff. What's happening to me? Am i jealous that he has a girlfriend i don't...or am i jealous that don't have him?.....Oh my god Jc stop...You're not gay, and defiantly not for your BFF!