In All My Life

Touch

It wasn't very often when I felt like I was floating on a cloud, blissfully happy, with nothing to worry about or be scared off.

It only happened when I was with him. Wrapped in his arms that had a promise to never let me go, to never let me fall, and to be there when my world started to come crashing down.

With him, it was an intoxicating sense of security and never ending love that made me feel like I was meant to be on earth after all.

His long thin arm tightened at my waist, pulling my back closer to the front of him. His face nestled in my hair with his warm breath cooling the skin of my neck. Shivers ran down my arm and his closeness made it hard for me to breath and comprehend that I was here. Lying with him in his soft warm bed, and far away from anything that could hurt me.

His full lips laid on my neck, pressing a light kiss there.
"Julia?" His soft husky voice whispered into my skin. I had to take a few more deep breaths before I could even attempt to talk.
"Yes?" My voice wavered. Shoot.

"Are you asleep yet?" He whispered into my neck again, this time with the undertone of a hiding chuckle.
My body shook lightly with my laugh, giving me enough space to roll around and face him.

His eyes were closed but his face was tilted up at me, sensing my closeness. Sometimes he amazed me at being able to sense what I was feeling or even thinking. It just showed that you didn't need eyesight to see, just heart and mind.

My hand folded into his as I slowly leaned into him till my head laid on his chest.

"I'm asleep, Ben." I whispered softly as his arms wrapped around me again for comfort.
"Good. Then you won't be able to hear this." He whispered into my ear, once again sending the chills down all over my body.
We laid in silence together with nothing but the sound of our shallow breathing taking the space.
"I love you Julia." He whispered softly and kissed the side of my head. My eyes fluttered closed as I felt his light kisses reach my lips.
I sighed into his mouth which gained a soft smile from him and pulled away, our foreheads touching.
"And I love you, Ben." I whispered and pressed my lips into his before he could say anything afterwards.
Getting in the last word was something I enjoyed anyways.

He kissed me drastically, like there wasn't going to be a tomorrow for us, giggling into my mouth as we rolled around like completely mad fools.

But that soon ended when we rolled off his bed and unto the floor, now in a fit of giggles and shushings.

***
The morning sun was almost blinding as I lifted my head off the sleeping Ben who had kept his arms locked around me all night. I laid back down and sighed into his chest, drawing little shapes lightly on his bare arm with the tip of my finger.

"You know how much I hate being tickled." His husky morning voice grumbled, forcing me to bite my bottom lip from laughing.
I sat up, feeling the sun beat down on my arms as I stared out the window, watching my dog Maximus run around in the backyard of my house.

I smiled as he jumped around happily, just playing with himself, and found myself aching to run out of bed and go play with the lonely dog.
But at the same time, just the sheer thought of going back to the house gave my chills that ran all over my body and a deep sickness that rumbled in my stomach.

My arms suddenly ached, making me flinch in thought of how bruised they were from late last night and an drunk episode of my abusive father.
My fingertips unconsciously trailed softly over the still sore marks, thinking about the many possibilities of what could happen if I never went back.

"Something's wrong, isn't it." Ben more of knew and said than asking. He never ceased to amaze me with his ability to sense my emotions. A talent like that seemed like it would take a lifetime to gain, but he was only blinded four years ago and quickly had to adapt.

His warm hand laid on my arms, rubbing it reassuringly.

"What you say to me wanting to stay with you, forever?" I asked softly, leaning close into him.
His blue eyes that he usually tried to keep shut, finally opened like they did very rarely, and managed to look up at me, almost as if he could see me, whispering to me as he leaned in more.

"I would say I need you to."