A Piece of You

Part 7. Sorry

"Why don't you stay for the night?"

Gulf's head snap to the person asking beside him. He's been staring outside the window, waiting for the rain to stop so he could go home but apparently the weather is having a good time.

"There was no weather advisory for this", he mumbled instead of answering and pulling up his phone again to check.

Mew chuckled and step closer to the younger, gently back hugging the latter. "Why are you so worried? You can stay here"

Gulf scoff, if he needs to worry it is because he isn't sure he can control himself. He might end up seducing Mew. They still haven't kiss except for that brief peck he had given Mew, but as what their friends noted before, they just couldn't stop to be physically glued to each other since that confession two weeks ago. But being so close to Mew in the confined setting of his home is another story.

Mew chuckled, "Are you getting nervous?", he asked nuzzling at Gulf's neck and planting a peck on his shoulder.

"Mew...", Gulf whines turning around to look at the older. Mew looks at him, trying to act innocently but his crescent eyes are playful.

"We are just going to sleep, I promise. Unless....", Mew's voice trailed off as his eyes travelled to Gulf's lips.

"Stop seducing me", Gulf sighs softy pushing Mew away.

"Aren't you the one doing that?", Mew whispers. Gulf had left him speechless for a while earlier when he arrive on his door with wearing a sleeves hoodie, shorts which is too short actually for Mew's perspective and a slip on.

Gulf, "I did no such thing"

"Remember not to wear shorts outside"

Gulf, "You're the one who said we are just going to play games and watch some movies, and to just dress comfortably as if I'm home"

"You look gorgeous. I like it actually. Just, don't wear like this if there are others"

Gulf chuckled, "Are you being possessive? But I always wear shorts especially when me and the guys went out for the beach"

"It's too short", Mew insisted. "But if you're comfortable with it", he added after.

Gulf let out a giggle when Mew pouts, he couldn't help but give Mew a quick peck on the lips. The older man's eyes darkened.

"Uhoh, you started this", Mew said pulling Gulf to him before claiming the younger's lips. Gulf was only too happy to give in. The moved to the nearby couch still kissing. He is also tired controlling himself and why would they control themselves, honestly. Mew wanted to resolve something within himself and while he isn't against it, he realized that no matter what, he knew from the bottom of his heart that regardless, he wouldn't regret being with Mew. He thought he already lost Mew before, he should cherish every moment that he can spend with him.

Gulf pulled Mew by the back of his neck when the older pulled back. Mew moaned when Gulf seek entrance, he conceded before gently angling Gulf's head so he could deepen the kiss. When his lips travelled to Gulf's neck and his ears, there was a sudden voice echoing in his head.

Moaning, grasping, whispering, "I love you''

Mew suddenly stopped. He stood still, closing his eyes.

"Mew? What's wrong?", Gulf's gentle voice echoes after a while.

Mew looks at Gulf a little lost if what he heard was the younger, "Did you say something?'

Gulf looks at him in confusion before shaking his head, he didn't say anything but surely he's making some noises, he blushed immediately not that he isn't flushed already from what they were doing seconds ago. Guilt immediately wrapped Mew as soon as his eyes met Gulf's doe eyes. He didn't want to think of anyone else, Gulf is with him. The man in front of him is the one that matters to him the most, the one who he loves, why is he thinking of someone else. He pulled Gulf in an embrace, burying his face to the younger's neck. "I'm sorry", he mumbled.

Gulf stiffened.

"I'm sorry", Mew cries, tightening his hold.

It took a while for Gulf to steady himself, to let his pain settle in. He sigh, Mew is clinging on to him so tightly.

"Mew...", he called. Mew just shook his head against his shoulder but did look up nor release him.

"Mew...look at me. Look at me", Gulf said gently wriggling out of the older's embrace. He cupped the Mew's face and lifted up the older's tear-stricken face. He can see the guilt, confusion and fear.

"I'm sorry", Mew said in a low voice.

Gulf, "It's ok. I'm not angry. We've talked about this. So, this is the reason why? Are you confused with your feelings?", he looks at Mew while wiping the latter's tears, and Mew look back at him straight.

"No", Mew answered with conviction. "I know how I feel. I don't want to say it now because it really isn't the time to say it. You might not believe me too"

Gulf stayed quiet.

Mew, "You are the most precious to me now. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being selfish. I'll understand if you'd like to keep your distance after tonight. I..."

Gulf, "Enough. I know you didn't want to hurt me", he finally understood why Mew wanted to clear himself of the past, not that he could allow it in a way that they would stay apart. No, he can't allow it. "Lend me some clothes and let me take a bath first", when Mew looks at him questioningly he let out another soft sigh. "We can cuddle after like usual and talk. I'm not angry, I'm not going anywhere"

Mew gave Gulf a thankful look before gingerly going to his room to get Gulf some clothes.

***

"What do you say if you go to China and visit First?", Gulf asks. There was a long silence in the room when they came in and instead of cuddling they each took sides of the bed, keeping a distance. Gulf turns to looks at Mew, the older reach for his hand and gave it a kiss.

Mew, "I'm thinking of the same thing. And I'd like it if you could come with me"

"I don't think that's a good idea. I'm only encouraging you to meet him because I can see that you are having a hard time"

"You aren't?", Mew gave a small smile trying to lift the mood.

Gulf, "I do too. I want to make love to you, kiss you as much as I want without you being reminded of someone else"

"Gulf..."

"It's not your fault. Our brains are always complicated and harder to understand. There might be things you wanted to resolve and your mind is reminding you. It was honestly an ugly break up between the two of you. And then you left. I want you to be free from the past, I want us to be free from it and start a new, but if in the course you find it that I am not the want you wanted..."

Mew, "What are you saying? You're the only one I want"

Gulf smile at him, "Fine. I'm just going to hold on to that. I've been loving you too long to let this go"

"What?!", Mew exclaimed suddenly hovering at the younger. "What did you say?"

Gulf, "What did I say? I'm going to hold on to your words"

Mew, "Not that. After that one"

Gulf looks at him trying to look innocent but his face had flushed red, "I didn't say anything", he denied. He wriggled himself beneath Mew, trying to find a comfortable position and locking himself to Mew's embrace in a spooning position, his back on Mew's chest. "I'm sleepy"

"Gulf...", Mew whines.

"Gulf, "Let's go to sleep"

Mew pouts, "Fine. I'm not gonna force you today but I'm taking down notes", he conceded. That night, as Mew sleep he dreams the familiar dream, but in his dream, the man he is making love with has now a face, a very familiar face with plump chestnut lips, burning chocolate skin that is crimson with sweat and doe eyes burning with desire. 

****

Note: Hello sweeties! Sorry for the long absence. I'm still having a hard time to write but hopefully I can return eventually. Thank you for waiting!