* weird little mitsukou oneshots </3

* Kou angst 2</3

Cw: guilt, mentions of Ts//kasa, uhhhh idk man

Summary: Kou has a dream and it freaks him out n he acts weird and his boyfriend isn't having it

Kou was acting weird today.
Mitsuba first felt something off when he looked into his eyes; Which sounds vague and weird, but Kou always had this glimmer in his eyes, that made them sparkle brighter than the sun. Mitsuba often found himself getting lost looking in them.
Today his eyes sat blank, no glimmer to them in sight. Dull blue orbs. It was unsettling for Mitsuba to look into them.
His second hint?
Kou was being quiet. Kou was always stupidly talkative.
Mitsuba had pointed out his quietness early in the day teasingly, but after getting a nervous glance and an apology in return instead of a playful "shut up", Mitsuba felt too unsettled to bring it up again.
His reactions were duller, too. Mitsuba had been throwing playful insults at him all day as he usually did, but Kou would only acknowledge them with a tired sounding laugh.
Third clue?
Kou didn't try to hold onto Mitsuba's hand or anything when walking beside him as he normally did. And Kou wasn't listening to Mitsuba when he spoke. Not in a mean way, (Mitsuba HAD thought at first Kou was mad at him, until he noticed he was treating his friends and teachers the exact same way) he just would zone out, and then apologize and ask him to continue, before zoning out again. He was distant, and Mitsuba couldn't stand it. This wasn't like him.
-
The day had moved on, as time inevitably moves. Now it was night, and Mitsuba layed in Kou's arms, snuggled into his chest.
"...Whats with you today? You've been acting weird." Mitsuba scowled against the soft clothing on Kou's chest.
Kou stared forward blankly, "No I haven't."
His voice had hints of defensiveness. It took Mitsuba aback, whyd he feel the need to be defensive?
"...Are you alright? You can tell me if somethings bothering you." Mitsuba frowned, any playfulness that mightve been on his face now completely gone, replaced with sincerity.
Kou laughed, "Theres nothing to tell you, Mitsu. Im fine. Just go to sleep."
His voice was blank. There was no emotion. Mitsuba almost wished the defensiveness would return.
Mitsuba didn't know how to approach this. He wanted answers, but he didn't want to pry and make Kou uncomfortable, either...
He pulled out of Kou's arms and stared at him, "I can tell something's up with you, I'm your boyfriend. ....Please tell me."
Kou tore his eyes away from Mitsuba's and looked down blankly, avoiding Mitsuba's eyes, "I'm fine. Trust me, there's nothing to tell you."
"Kou."
"I promise everything's fine, lets just go to sleep."
"Kou, please? Talking is your favorite past time, humor me a bit?"
No response.
"...Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?"
Kou's eyes shot back up frantically, his arms reaching out in defense, "What?! No! I could never be mad at you!"
"Then whats the matter?"
Kou frowned, lowering his arms, "Nothing."
"Kou."
"There is no problem, I swear id tell you if there was!"
"Kou."
"..."
"Please tell me."
"...stop.."
"Kou?"
"Please..."
"..."
"Theres nothing wrong. Stop, Mitsu..."
Kou had this rasp to his voice that he only got when he was about to cry. Mitsuba immediately panicked, was he pushing too hard? He didn't want to scare it out of Kou, he just wanted to help.
"I just want to know if I can help you, dummy," Mitsuba sighed, "you don't need to cry."
Kou's eyes widened. Mitsuba stared at him blankly, before realizing what he said and gasping.
"No- I didn't mean it like that-"
Kou's eyes met Mitsuba's again. Mitsuba's panic grew when he noticed how watery Kou's eyes were.
"...Ha.... Haha.... y-you know... im really not supposed to cry.... Haha.... Ha.. Im sorry.... hah..." Kou laughed, shoving his eyes into his arm, rubbing harshly.
Mitsuba stared at him, concern visible on his face. He hated it, he didn't want Kou to mistake it for pity.
"Kou-"
"I just want to be strong," Kou sighed, "Why is that so much to ask...?"
Mitsuba crashed into him, immediately pulling his beloved into his lap.
"You are strong. You know that."
"I want to be Teru," Kou said, not letting his voice get higher than a whisper, "Why am I such a failure? I don't want to be like this."
Mitsuba grabbed Kou's face gently, "No. Listen to me. you're not a failure. I can list multiple good things about you."
"I'd like to see you try, Mitsuba!" Kou yelled, flinching away from Mitsuba's hand, "...N-No, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"..." Mitsuba sighed, slowly placing his hand back on his boyfriend's cheek, "...Youre the only person who ever gave me a chance, Kou. No one spoke to me in middle school, i was- and still kinda am- social suicide. And yet, you still agreed to be friends. You're so trusting, and brave, and strong... ....You're so selfless. And sweet. O-On a more personal note, your voice is pretty... My hands fit in yours perfectly. And... ...I love you. You're.... Youre wonderful, idiot."
Kou blinked at him, staring at him. Mitsuba stared back, growing worried at Kou's delayed reaction. Soon, Mitsuba saw his eyes water up again, and Kou flashed a fearful look as soon as they did, crashing into Mitsuba for a hug, which Mitsuba gladly accepted.
"Im so sorry..." Kou muttered.
"Dont be, loser. You didnt do anything wrong."
"I-Im not trying to cry, im sorry, i-"
"Shhh.." Mitsuba gently rubbed circles into his shorter boyfriend's back with his thumb.
Kou layed in Mitsuba's arms until he stopped crying, and pulled away.
"Thank you." He sniffled, staring down, flustered.
"Was that it? You were off today because you felt weak?"
"Uh... Dont worry about it. Its stupid. Let's just-"
"Stop calling yourself stupid, only i can do that. Tell me what's bothering you!"
Kou stared at him anxiously, before taking a deep breath, "....I had a nightmare."
"...Go on?"
"A-And you died, and I... I was right there, I c-couldve prevented it, b-b-but I w-was... I wasn't... I couldn't... I wasn't s-strong enough... Just like I wasn't strong enough all the t-times Tsukasa h-hurt you... I wasn't... I could've... helped you. If I was a little stronger, I could've prevented all of it... if I was more like Teru.."
Mitsuba stared at him. Kou never told him that he blamed himself for Tsukasa.
"God Kou, you're stupid."
"I know."
"No, I mean, you seriously think any of what happened with Tsukasa was your fault?"
Kou stared at him like he was stupid, which threw Mitsuba off.
"You tried. When it was literally impossible, you tried. And in the end, you won! If your end goal was to save me, you did. I'm here. You did it," Mitsuba held onto Kou's face gently, rubbing his wet cheeks gently with his thumb, "No one couldve stopped Tsukasa. Hanako's a school wonder and HE couldn't do it. You tried. You're so much stronger than I could've been."
"But thats the thing! You ARE stronger than me!"
"....What?"
"You've been through so much shit and you're still here! You've been through so much, and you're still the same old Mitsuba... Thats so much better than I could-"
"Stop excusing the things thatve happened to you. Kou, your homelife is terrible, you're constantly injured somewhere, you're constantly fighting supernaturals... Youve been through so much, too. And its okay to accept that you're strong because of them."
Kou blinked at him, before pulling him into a hug "....Hah.. Youre so good..."
"Huh? All I said was-"
"I love you."
Mitsuba's breath got stuck in his throat. He wasn't expecting that to be Kou's next move, "I love you more, stupid, but huh?"
"Thank you."
"...? Don't thank me for this."
"I cant not, Mitsu. Thank you, you didn't have to do this."
"..Whatever. it's no problem i guess. You better be back to normal tomorrow, otherwise this was a waste of time." Mitsuba said, meaning literally none of it genuinely.
Kou laughed, "I will, don't worry."
"...And next time, please tell me about your stupid nightmares and stuff. I'll always be here to listen to you, you know? Don't try to lock it all in."
Kou nodded reluctantly, though Mitsuba knew we would follow through with that promise.
The two got back under the blankets of Kou's bed, Mitsuba immediately diving into Kou's chest. Kou threw his arms around Mitsuba.
"...Man?"
"What."
Kou pressed a gentle kiss to Mitsuba's forehead, making his heart flutter, "I love you more than all the stars in the sky!"
"....Jeez..." Mitsuba gulped, as though trying to swallow the heat that rose to his cheeks at Kou's gentleness, "I love you more."
"No, I love you more!"
"Nope! I'm certain I love YOU more!"
"Noo! I love you more, and I can prove it!"
"Then prove it!"
Kou sat up, swiftly moving Mitsuba from cuddled against his chest to cradled in his lap, and immediately started showering his neck and face in kisses all over. Mitsuba squeaked in surprise.
"H-Hey! Not fair!"
"Its plenty fair, ya asked me to prove it and I am!" Kou grinned against his neck.
Kou showered him in more kisses, before smooching his hand and moving to lay back down. Mitsuba interrupted him with a loud whine.
"Whaaaat? You're going to do all that and then not even actually kiss me? Thats not faaaaair!"
Kou blinked, before laughing and cupping Mitsuba's face in his hands and bringing their lips together. The bandages on Kou's hands scratched Mitsuba's cheeks, tempting Mitsuba to tease him about them. He then remembered how easily frustrated Kou got with the bandages, and he didn't want to risk accidentally convincing Kou to take them off again, so he didn't. They both finally separated when they ran out of breath. Kou laughed as Mitsuba gasped for air dramatically and claimed Kou tried to kill him, before they got back into eachothers arms under the covers.
"I love you, Mitsuba." Kou mumbled.
"I love you so much." Mitsuba whispered back.
The two then drifted off into a peaceful sleep.