I Hope That You Listen

My Immortal

Harry's mind was still reeling with the news that Jay was in the hospital because of some unknown illness. He wanted to jump on the next flight out and get over to the UK five minutes ago, but because it wasn't an "emergency" and she wasn't "an immediate family member" so he still had to continue with his tour in the states and continue to receive updates from either Louis or Liam.

Needless to say, he was quite frustrated.

Jay was like a second mother to him and he felt as close to her as he was to his own mother. She always supported them when they were in the band and she was one of their biggest fans, followed very closely by his own mum, Anne, and the mum's of the other boys, Trisha, Karen, and Maura. They all joined up together and formed a "mother's club" and had regular meet ups when they were in the band and got along famously.

Come to think of it, I wonder if they still have their meet ups. He thought.

He was looking at the set list for tonight's show and was thinking about making some last minute adjustments to it and running it by the band. They were fairly adaptable and were quite used to his hare-brained schemes and last minute changes, so he wasn't too worried, but this time there was meaning behind it.

Thinking about Jay inevitably got him to thinking about her son as well, and he wasn't thinking about Ernest, though he's cute too.

He tries all too often not to think of Louis, but when he tries too hard at something, it often happens without him realizing it. It happened in this past week when he tried to go out on a date with someone.

He honestly didn't truly expect for it to go anywhere because anyone who goes on a date with him eventually learns everything they have to do, everything they have to hide in order to be with him. Some try to look passed that and be understanding about his job, but they eventually get tired and leave. It always left a bitter taste in his mouth so he came to one conclusion about dates with people not in know about the industry.

It never goes well.

He knows that his life could be a lot simpler, a lot easier if he just simply quit the business and went for a life of anonymity, but he didn't want that either. Louis knew everything that had to be hidden because he had to hide it too.

They were both actively closeted musicians who had literally no control over their relationship decisions. Communications were largely left alone at first, but when their tweeting got out of hand, it came under strict scrutiny and was tightly controlled as well. Louis knew it all because he experienced it with him. He walked through that fire with him. He was burned with him.

The heart of his dream was broken alongside his.

The guy he went on the date with just didn't compare. He was nice. Harry even laughed a couple of jokes that he cracked, but couldn't help but think that Louis would have him on the floor laughing at that point if he was really trying to be funny.

The guy was cute, but Louis looked so much better in his eyes. Louis's eyes were a deep blue that stands out in a crowd. Harry would be able to pick them out from any pair of eyes with no issue whatsoever. This guy's eyes though, were your generic pale blue that, when he thought about it, looked kind of washed out.

The guy looked good in an ordinary way. Just your average, good looking guy. Harry would never put Louis in that category. As hurt as he was and is, he felt that it was sacrilegious to call Louis anything other than extraordinary when it came to how he looked.

Louis often said the same thing about him when they were together.

But I guess that wasn't enough. He thought bitterly.