I Hope That You Listen

With 100 Band-Aids, I'll Just Hold On

So I have a bit more time on my hands now that school's out where I live so updates may come a bit more frequently than they were before, but that all depends on how well I can put all this together. Songs as always will be credited at the bottom.

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It's been a few days since Harry received that dreadful phone call from the hospital that informed him of Jay's passing and a lot of things have happened since then.

The Tomlinson family had pulled together as well as collapsed all at the same time.

Harry had always been an accepted member of the family, and he was hurting as much as they were, the rest of the boys were too, but it seemed that the actual blood members of the family were starting to close ranks, even to him, so he took and did what he did before and wrote his feelings on paper. He completed the song he was writing in honor of Jay when he flew over a few weeks earlier.

He looked over at the ring Louis gave to him that fateful September 28th in 2013. He wistfully thought about the day they promised themselves to each other, not engaged yet no, but promising to each other that they would always belong to each other.

He thought that was it, but not quite.

Maybe this would be their new start, a new chapter for them. He looked over the lyrics of the song and decided that he needed a second and third opinion, namely that of Niall and Liam because for some reason Zayn still hasn't come to Doncaster yet.

He's been careful when working on this song because while Louis has been taking care of his family as they have been naturally deferring to him and Dan, Louis has been coming home tired and emotionally wrung out. It seems only Lottie and Dan, sometimes Fizzy, are truly aware of the toll that this has taken on him.

In the end, Harry's always there to take care of him through all of this as he promised him.

Louis told him one of the nights that he came home that he finally gave Simon an answer.

"I told him that I'm gonna do it." He whispered, "Mum would have wanted me to."

"I'm not gonna argue that point," Harry conceded, "but are you gonna be okay with doing it?"

"I don't know," Louis sighed, shaking his head before cuddling up to Harry, "I'll have to be though. Don't wanna let her down."

"Lou, she would be proud of you no matter if you did it or not." Harry said sternly, "She wouldn't want you to beat yourself up for not doing it just as she wouldn't want you to do it just for her and secretly not want to. Don't do it just for her and secretly hate it, you know she wouldn't want that."

Louis sniffled a little, "I know, that." He wiped his eyes, "God, I hate crying so much, feel like it's all I've done since you've got here...anyway, I just want to do something to honor her somehow. I don't know if this will be enough, but it's a start."

Harry nodded silently, understanding where he was coming from, "Well we'll be there to support you. Remember this if nothing else, Louis." Harry looked him in the eyes seriously, "You are not alone. We're here for you, I'm here for you."

Louis broke down again that night because that had become one of his greatest fears ever since the end of One Direction, being left alone, being left behind. Louis knew and had told Harry that his singles sounded like recycled One Direction sounds to him, while he knew that Niall was on the verge of releasing an album, Harry had already released an album and toured, Liam had shown him some things and his sound was completely different.