Tragically Beautiful

Bonus Chapter....

3 Years Later.... (this means five years with the last bonus chapter. Alex is 23 and Riley is 22)

Song above is...Lost Without You by Freya Ridings. Fits this chapter so well!

No missed calls.

Sighing I placed my phone back down on the table. I stared out the window the coffee shop feeling completely hopeless, the rainy weather matching my mood. Its been two weeks. Two weeks without seeing or hearing from Alex. Two weeks since we took a break. But it didn't feel like a break. No it felt like a breakup.

Today is probably the first time in the two weeks that I haven't bawled my eyes out. Only because I now felt numb. I've bee living in a haze where nothing really mattered anymore. How can it when I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest.

I never imagined we'd be here. It's always been Alex and I against the world. He's by my side for the past five years and now he isn't. Sure we've had our problems and arguments but after a bit both of us would apologize and we'd be okay. But this time....it felt different this time. I mean its been two weeks since we last talked and saw each other. We've never gone this long before.

I had known things were a bit rough lately. Both of us juggling our new jobs and life after graduating. I just started my new job at a high school and Alex had started at the company with Noah and Mason. He's been more stressed lately and grumpier but starting a new job and life was bound to be hard.

When he got home from work two weeks ago he was more snappy than normal. I had asked what was wrong only for him to snap me telling me to mind my own business. The words just set me off. Everything that had piled up the last few weeks now came to head.

We got in a yelling match. Both of us saying things we didn't mean but in the moment things were too heated. I called him selfish for being at work so much. He called me too needy.

By the end of our screaming match Alex packed a couple of bags and left. I was pretty sure he was staying at Noah's place not too far from here while I stayed in our empty apartment alone.

I knew the moment our friends found out cause my phone started blowing up. I was stuck in bed crying that I didn't answer a single message. Wasn't until Lexi was threatening to break down the door did I get up. The moment I saw Lexi I broke down all over again.

Lexi stayed with me the rest of the day until Liv showed up. She drove forty minutes to come see me. The three of us sat in my bed, eating ice cream and watching the Vampire Diaries.

I laid in bed for three days straight before the both of them forced me up and into the shower. I had thought Alex would call or come home after the first three days but when he didn't it just broke me all over again.

Both Liv and Lexi told me to give it time. That Alex would be back and we'd work it out. But the longer we went without talking I wasn't sure we could.

Eventually Liv had to go back home since the hospital kept calling. I had to force myself to get up and go to work even though I still felt like laying bed all day.

Without Liv around Lexi came by every day to check up on me. I didn't miss the concern look on her face when she came by. I knew in the last two weeks I have gotten thinner and the bags under my eyes bigger. I couldn't bring myself to eat much or sleep. I had gotten so use to sleeping next to Alex I was lost without him.

I stared down at the promise ring on my finger. The same promise ring he gave me five years ago. I've worn it everyday since then. The sight of it made my heart ache even more.

I wanted to call him. Apologize and tell him to come home but I stopped every time my finger hovered over his name. I was afraid. Afraid that if I called he wouldn't pick up or if he did that he'd tell me we really were over. That our relationship was no longer worth fighting for. That was my biggest fear. So every time I stopped myself.