Under Her Skin

Chapter 19

Police Officer: Why was Sunny in the Principal's office?

Me: They touched her bruised peach when a teacher walked by.

***

Sunny sat on the edge of her bed, feeling particularly lonely, down, hollow. Tears were falling, yet not once did Sunny think to tell anyone about what was happening. Despondency made her explore her ways of survival. Introspections dried out, and new ones formed, and suddenly the night sky, which was decorated with a sheet of stars called to her.

She looked out the window, her blood waltzing. For a long time, this feeling was intangible. Sunny soon learned that it was called drive. Loneliness introduced her to any teenager's greatest inspiration—YouTube.

Sunny switched on her laptop and typed keywords: change, makeup, pretty, accepted, popular, white. It brought her to a world of make-up. The gurus greeted her, talked to her the same way they talked to millions— welcoming, kind, without hostility and antagonism. She felt normal, and that was precious. Sunny often replayed the introductions. To the mirror, she kidded about their enthusiasm, but really, she fed off of it. Sunny wished she looked like that.

The sorcery within their brushes transformed them into Barbie dolls. They evinced to Sunny, right before her eyes, that it was possible to turn an underdone outcast into a gorgeous idol.

Sunny learned how to use false lashes, paint nails, curl hair. She worshiped these gurus like a religion. When she finished with her 'smokey eye look', she paused in amazement. She looked sorta pretty. She sorta looked white. She took an Instagram picture and it got 583 likes and a wave of dings from Sunny's phone.

Jess: You look SO pretty.

Jess: We should hang out sometime! OMG!!

Tori: Damn. Chinese girl glew up.

Selena: YESSS. Finally!

Selena: You're welcome.

Sunny's phone couldn't go minutes without another vibrate indicating another one of someone else's approval. Sunny spent the next hour stalking their profiles. All were breathing embodiments of what Sunny was trying to create; pretty, popular, unreachable.

Helen: Guurrrrrl. What's your trick??

Josie: !!!!

Josie: There is no way she looks like that...

Devon: Are you okay Sunny?

Devon: You look great but I liked your eyes before.

Sunny stopped moving and her eyes and focused on the words they were saying. Sunny put down her phone. Bitch was just jealous.

***

Rumors found a way to spread like fireworks and once they infected the population like a virus, they give people a reason to test them. Boys noticed Sunny in the hallways and walking down those halls became dangerous. Whispers trailed behind her, laughter flew past her ears. They were innocent at first. Oh, she's pretty, look at her body. But then they got dirty real fast. It pushed Sunny to a point where she had no choice but to question herself— what was wrong with her?

Sunny was heading to third period when she shut the classroom door behind her and waved goodbye to Selena. Like Usual. She walked down the hall.

Whispers.

Quiet, louder, louder.

She turned around, her hands shuffled back and forth in her hair. But the buzz didn't stop. She was reminded of her old days. Devon. Pep rallies. She peeked over her shoulder. A group of boys filled with ironic smiles pointed down low. She ran through the possibilities. It had to be her jeans. They must have ripped.