i want to be with you [Karl Jacobs x Reader]

one

tw: self harm/ suicide around half way through

y/n's pov/

Living with eternal pain is something that no one should have to deal with, no matter where it came from. From heart break to a family members death, the pain you feel in the pit of your stomach sometimes hurts more than death it's self. That's what i felt, and the fact that i hide it from my brother and the world by putting on a happy face makes it hurt 10 times more. It was normal of me to take a shower for a few extra minutes, because of crying. It wasn't out of the ordinary for me to cry myself to sleep, because i some how thought that would ease the pain. Everyday I want to tell Dream about everything, but when i finally feel as if i've plucked up the courage, my heart starts pounding so heavily that i have to run away from the situation. I just want the pain to ease, but sometimes it's not that easy.

It had been a week since i streamed, and taking a break from streaming was something i'd never done before. Streaming have me that short distraction which i needed, but the unexplained eternal pain returned as soon as i closed my stream. The fan base, especially the twitter ones, knew something wasn't right, but as i hadn't spoken up about anything the confusion hasn't been put to rest. As Dream, and his bestfriend sapnap who i live with, had been so busy recently with their content, they hadn't noticed. That was however, until now.

'Right guys i'm going to get groceries.' Sapnap said as he stood up, finishing tying his laces.

'Oh did you want us to come with you?' I asked signally to myself and my twin, Dream.

'No i should uh be okay but thanks for the offer i'll see you guys later.'

'Wait could you get more of those doritos we got the other day?' I said.

'Sure!' Sapnap smiled before the front door closed.

'Y/N what has been going on?' Dream asked, it felt like he was interrogating me.

'W-what do you mean?' I said as i felt a quiver of fear wave over me.

'I know we haven't been as close recently, and i'd like to apologise for that first.' Dream said sitting opposite me,

'Oh it's it's okay I understand that.' I smiled.

'But that doesn't mean i'm not here for you, i'm always here for you, so is Sapnap too, for anything. From where is the bag of rice in the kitchen, or wanting to open about about something, the two of us are here.' He smiled.

'T-thank Dream.' I smiled, feeling a tear fall from my eye and wiping it away before he'd notice.

'Y/N i've noticed maybe in the past couple of months something isn't okay, like the way your personality on your stream and in real life changes so much. I didn't want to bring this up, as it's up to you if and when you want to, but it's starting to hurt me too. Seeing you in in pain hurts me a little too.'

This is where I took the chance to explain everything to him, from when it started and how i feel now.

'Y/N could I ask something?' He asked looking a little worried.

'Um sure.' I weakly smiled.

'Has it gotten worse than that?'

'What do you mean Dream?' I asked.

'Have you ever i uh harmed yourself?' Dream asked, intrigued but looking a little uncomfortable.

'No I haven't that's one thing I have done, I don't think i could ever fully do it as I couldn't imagine the pain i'd leave everyone in.'

'Y/N just come here.' Dream smiled opening his arms. His hugs were one of the nicest things in the world, they would last for such a long time without feeling awkward.

'We are both crying now.' I laughed a little wiping my tears as i let go of the hug.

'what are we like sometimes?' Dream laughed.

'Oh god I wish I could tell you.'

'Wait one more thing?'

'Go ahead brother.'

'Have you told anyone else?' He asked as Sapnap came through the door with a few bags of shopping.

'Actually I told one person.'

'Oh who?' Sapnap asked, leaning fowards with his hands on the kitchen counter.

'Karl.' I said looking down.

'Why would you tell karl?' Dream laughed a little confused.

'Oh I know.' Sapnap grinned.

If I told Dream why Karl knew, I'd never hear the end of it.