She's an Avery

Chapter 12: 19

The world was quiet. I looked out my window, in my empty house, at three in the morning. With Leo and Ellis gone I was alone. Bailey was staying with me for a while but eventually he couldn't, he couldn't live in the same place his sister died. And honestly neither could I.

But the world was quiet. Nobody was driving or walking or anything. I could feel the cold wind against my face. I was crying and my wet cheeks could feel the air, it made the wind feel sharp and colder than it actually was.

I was alone, in essentially a murder house. Yes she might have murdered herself but still. I had to get out.

I left but really had nowhere to go. I drove aimlessly for hours. I could go to Bailey's house, I could go to my dads house, I could go to my moms house. I could go anywhere, except that I couldn't. I couldn't go to Bailey's or my dad's or my mom's for reasons I couldn't explain, reasons even I didn't know, and I obviously couldn't go to Bailey's considering he just broke up with me. I drove, and I drove, for hours and hours. Until eventually I found myself in the parking lot of the hospital. The fluorescent sign reading "Grey + Sloan Memorial" beat down on my dashboard and on my face. I could hear Ellis's voice in the back of my head laughing about nothing and talking about all of her ex's and trust me there were a lot of them. I thought about the name "Grey/Sloan" the people that it was named after. I had only heard stories but they sounded like amazing people. They were in love but couldn't be in love. It was forbidden. The modern day Romeo and Juliet in a way. They died in a way that you really only think happens in the movies. I sat back in my chair. I could feel the tears coming from my eyes and falling into my mouth but I didn't wipe them away, my heart hurt more than I knew. I eventually fell asleep. I woke up, still in the hospital parking lot, smelly and greasy and gross. I had work today but I couldn't bring myself to make the short commute. I saw people walking in, some hopeful, some not so much. I looked  at the building and knowing there were hundreds of people dying in there was not great for my lack of motivation. I tried to think of happier things but I just couldn't, my life sucked now more than it usually did, I just wanted to hug someone that wasn't going to try and make me feel something. There was only one person who could do that. The only problem was that I haven't talked to him in many years.

Benjamin Warren. The guy that cut me out of my mother's stomach on Merideth Grey's kitchen table, which for some reason nobody ever talked about. When I was younger there were three people in the world that I let even come near me. Most people think it was my parents and Matthew Taylor, but it was actually my parents and Ben. I drove down to the fire station but I didn't know what to expect. It had been like four or five years since I had talked to him or really even thought about him. I parked my car, remembered to call work and tell them I wasn't coming into work, I went up to the door but was hesitant to touch the door knob. I went in.

Victoria Hughs was the one working the front desk. Of course my father's ex-girlfriend whom I've seen naked-no I don't actually remember anything I just know that it did happen-was the one I had to talk to in the middle of my crisis.

"Hi, Vic right? Ha ha ha. Yea so I'm looking for Warren, so if you could just point me in his direction that'd be great."

"Oh okay, well he actually just went out on a call, he shouldn't be too much longer if you want to wait for him right over there."

"Sure"

We walked over to the small little lounge they had. I spent a lot of my childhood in the station but once I turned 13 I just stopped going but it looked exactly the same as it had two decades ago. We sat in silence for a while which was very, very awkward. Till her face changed, she had realized something I just wasn't sure what.

"Wait, so how did you know my name before, have we met, cause you look kind of familiar."

"Ha ha ha, yea so do you remember you hot doctor lover?"

"Umm yea, Jackson."

"And you remember how y'all were fighting for a long time, and eventually y'all broke up cause he was with his kid and you came over naked but his kid was there so it was just really weird?"

"Yea, what does this hav-oh, no, really. This is very awkward now, I think I'm just gonna go..." she got up and left and then the riggs pulled in. All the firefighters were covered in soot, laughing though so It must have gone well. I looked over at them and made eye contact with Ben, his smile kind of faded but not into a frown, he was still smiling, he was just shocked to see me. Once we locked eyes though so many emotions came flooding in that I couldn't form words and I ran out of the station. He started running after me, he was still in his turnouts and he was sweaty and gross, but when he found me and pulled me into a tight hug it didn't matter, in that short moment I finally felt like myself again. It was a short feeling but I needed it. I was me again, it was only for a couple of seconds but it was the best seconds that I have had in a long while.