Darkness

Some Revelations

Merlin didn't feel hungry when he sat at the table, smelling the food that had been set out.

"Erm, this might sound ridiculous...ok it's going to sound ridiculous, but how long was I gone?" Merlin listened for a response, but was met with silence. "What?"

"Merlin, how can you not know how long it's been?" Arthur asked quietly. Merlin shifted in his seat and shrugged.

"The place I was...it was like being in a hole. There were no windows, and the door had been sealed. There was no light. I couldn't tell when it was day or night. I could only guess at how much time had passed by the growth of my hair. I've never let it get this long. Once it had been around six months, I wasn't able to track it anymore. Just tell me. How long?"

"Two years." Gwaine said squeezing his hand. Merlin's mouth dropped. He knew it had been long, but years? He'd been gone, missing, for two years.

"I'm...I'm sorry I was gone so long. I guess saying there were complications doesn't really cover it." There were a few soft chuckles, and he guessed most of the Round Table Knights were in the room.

"If you try to apologize for being held captive, Merlin, I won't be held responsible for what Gwen does to you." Arthur said. Merlin grinned, imagining his friend's reaction.

"Fair enough. Alright, I guess I should start at the beginning then, yeah? After I left?" He asked.

"First, you need to eat." Gaius said firmly. "When was the last time you ate anything?" Merlin tried to clear his throat, but it was dry. He knew his mentor was watching him closely.

"Er, when I left Ealdor. So...two, two years I guess." He could feel the shock around him.

"Then don't overdo it. Try some water and some broth for now." Gaius said pushing a cup to his hand that was on the table. Merlin had jumped a little at the touch, but accepted. He nodded and took a drink. As soon as it hit his lips, he felt energy course back through his body. He almost moaned with pleasure at the sensation. Arthur cleared his throat trying to get Merlin to focus again.

"Mm. Forgot how good it felt to have something to drink. Right. Uh, well, I found Morgana, as you may or may not have imagined." Merlin said, placing the cup back on the table.

"There's been no news of Morgana for the same time you were missing." Arthur said. Merlin nodded.

"I'm not surprised. She was the other trapped with me. I found her and Aithusa, a young dragon, held captive by some small force. I was able to use my magic to knock out or distract most of the guards and free them both. The dragon was sent off, but Morgana and I were found and surrounded. We fought as much as we could, but we were knocked out. Drugged. We were on the border between Essitir and Mercia, so I'd thought we'd end up in Mercia. But we were held by the Sarum. The new king after Cenred. Suffice it to say he was glad to have the last High Priestess and the last Dragon Lord in his control. He locked us up in a room that was probably more like an old abandoned well, chained to the wall. We were drugged when he put us there, but once the door was sealed...my magic was unreachable. We were cut off from it." Merlin was trying to keep his voice steady, but the feel, or lack of feeling, that he remembered was causing it to waver.

He tried to take another drink, but his hand was shaking bad enough he spilt a good portion of it on himself. Gwaine helped steady him. "Anyway, the rest is all more of the same. Darkness. By the end I could make out varying shades of gray in the dark. We didn't speak aside from the first day. I had wondered whether you listened to my letter or not. If you'd had a funeral or continued to search. We started taking turns, using our manacles to grind away at a weak spot in the mortar near the top of the...prison, I guess you could call it. One day the mortar gave, and moonlight spilled in. And with it, magic. Our magic poured through and melted our chains, tore down the walls, and brought us to a forest not far from Camelot. She left me there, telling me that she would not back down. Her intent is still to take Camelot for her own, or die trying. I'm sorry, Arthur. After taking a few steps, I found I didn't have the strength to walk back and hoped that my magic could transport me to the one place I wanted to be above all others. I thought of you, Arthur, and Gwaine, and the Knights of the Round Table. When I opened my eyes, you were all there. I guess that's my bit." Merlin was feeling on the table to see if he could find the broth that Gaius wanted him to try, when he finally connected with the bowl. The silence around him was almost as bad as being back in that place. He had both hands on the bowl, but had started to shake. The lack of sound was causing his panic to rise. He was drawn back to that place in a heartbeat and his breath caught in his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to shake his head, but he couldn't get out of it. There was a thundering sound in his ears. When he felt a hand on his arm he started up and tripped over his chair trying to get back.

"Merlin! Merlin, you're alright! You're safe!" Gwaine was saying, trying to break through. Merlin hugged his knees and tried to reign in his erratic heart and breathing. He nodded his head, trying to let them know that he heard them. But he couldn't speak yet. His heart felt lodged in his throat. Strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him close. Gwaine. Merlin melted into the contact and couldn't stop the sob that came out. "Shh. Shh. It's alright. I've got you." Gwaine murmured softly in his ear. Arthur was telling Gaius to make sure that Merlin ate something and tried to rest. Arthur came over and knelt down on the floor and put a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"Merlin. It will take time to adjust. It won't be easy. But we are all here for you. All of us. Do you understand?" Arthur was asking gently.

"I-" Merlin had to catch his breath, "I understand."