Life isn't fair

Chapter 2

What people don't know about Meredith Grey was that at age 16 she had given birth and given her daughter up for adoption.

Now that she had three kids and a loving husband she regretted it deeply, wishing she had just kept her and raised her herself. But 16 year old Meredith was not 43 year old Meredith.

Today was Christmas Day and coincidentally her daughters birthday. She'd be 27 today. Ever since the day her daughter was born Meredith spent the day grieving. But three kids were enough work on a daily basis let alone Christmas Morning.

"Mommy, Daddy wake up!" Bailey, Zola and Ellis yelled, jumping on their bed, waking up the two very tired parents who had been awake most of the night wrapping more presents than they could count.

"What time is it?" Derek asked, checking his clock, his eyes widening when he realised it was only 5:30 in the morning. "Look, kids, we would love to get up and open presents but it's half past five in the morning and we know what mommy's like when she has to get up early."

"Please?" Bailey asked, his two sisters nodding in agreement.

"Yeah daddy." Ellis said, a pout forming on her lips.

"Could you guys go back to sleep until at least seven?" Derek asked, he knew they didn't have the patience to wait any later than that, it was the same last year.

"But you said that last year." Zola whined, way to excited to see what was under the tree.

"I know, but Father Christmas has to go to so many houses at night and he might not have even come yet." Derek told them, trying to come up with the best lie he could. "We don't want to be awake if he decides to come."

"Daddy's right." Ellis said. "You know the story, he won't come if your awake."

"Okay, but we will be here at seven sharp." Zola said, leading her siblings back to her room. For some reason they all wanted to sleep in there every Christmas. It sort of became a tradition.

Derek chuckled at his daughters antics, he knew she'd been here at seven o'clock on the dot, it was something she'd learnt from her aunt Maggie.

"You okay?" Derek asked, looking at his wife who had just pretended to be asleep the entire time.

He'd noticed every Christmas she seemed sad, even their first one together. Maybe she didn't like Christmas, or maybe she'd never had a great one. Her mother wasn't exactly the nicest person alive.

"Just not a fan of Christmas." Meredith shrugged, it wasn't a complete lie. Her mother gave her a present that wasn't actually a present, one year she got a scalpel. She was four. But that didn't mean she hated it, she actually loved it.

She loved the atmosphere when she went shopping with her friends. It was always happy and cheerful, it never failed to make her smile.

That was until she gave her daughter up for adoption. After that the atmosphere didn't feel the same and she cried the first few years for hours.

"Mer, it's me." Derek said. "Someone who doesn't like Christmas complains and hates going shopping and wrapping presents. Cristina hates Christmas and she doesn't act sad, just annoyed. Is it because of your mother?"

"I used to love Christmas." Meredith admits, taking a deep breath. She trusts Derek not to leave her when she tells him this but is ready for anything.

"What changed?" He asked, pulling her into his arms, knowing something really bad must've happened for her to just hate something all of a sudden.

"When I was younger I found out I was pregnant." Meredith told him, Derek was surprised at information but doesn't judge her. "It's her birthday today."

"How old is she?" He asked, he had more questions, like who was the father, or what happened to her, or if she knew about the kids, but he doesn't ask, it wasn't the right time.

"27 today." Meredith told him, he winced when he realised how old his wife was when she had her. "I've never told anyone that before."

"Not even Cristina?" He asked, shocked, they told each other everything. Meredith even stopped halfway through sex just because Cristina called.

"No." Meredith replied. "I was ashamed. I could've looked after her. I had the time and the money but I didn't because I was scared."

Derek kisses his wife's forehead, letting her know he wasn't leaving her. He knew that was one of her biggest fears, but he wasn't leaving, they were in this together.

"It's okay." He said. "You allowed to be scared and your allowed to be sad. No ones judging you."

"I hope she did something good with her life." Meredith muttered. She often thought about it during surgery, letting her hands do all the work for her.

One time she almost cried when she realised her daughter could be dead and had to hand the surgery over the Webber. She'd made up some crappy excuse about feeling sick.

"Me too." Derek said, as his wife began to fall asleep in his arms. "Me too."