Re:Zero Cringe IF

Chapter 1

Re:Zero Cringe IF
An average wattpad self insert fic, where the protagonist is overpowered and everyone is out of character and nothing ever goes wrong, in fact the protagonist is a chick magnet who fucked your mom.

Formatting: “talking”, ‘thinking’, description

Chapter 1: The average self introduction where the protagonist feels bland as fuck

My name is Ryan, and I am a 14 year old teenager. I hate school, adults and bad people, they are all so stuck up and act all tall and mighty despite me being so much better than them. Don't get me wrong; my grades are straight A's and I get along with older people really well. This is just my facade. This world is so unfair. They don’t understand the pain of being a student. I used to be bullied exceedingly in the past. I've been exercising for a year already and I am ripped and sexy now. I wear black clothes, because I don't want to stand out. Now, all shallow people want to hang out with me, which disgusts me.

I got out of my house wearing my black clothes, like always. Even my parents are not being supportive of my dressing choices despite it not being their business. They're too stupid to understand.

Today I was going to get some new glasses, because the last ones broke. I use them because I like them. As I was walking, I started thinking about my favorite anime, Re:Zero, and my waifu, Rem. Subaru is so stupid and weak. Why didn't he choose Rem. Emilia is stupid too. Suddenly, I saw a white flash and quickly started blinking.

Turns out, I was teleported to the world of Re:Zero

I quickly looked around me, and I instantly knew what to do. It seems that I was teleported here instead of Subaru.

"I won't commit the same mistakes he did. I'm better." I muttered under my breath. Looking around the square, I quickly ran into the merchants' street and found the Appa man to register my savepoint.

"Yo, Mr. Savepoint Guy." Saying that, I turned around.

As I ran off, I decided to go into the alley to beat the thugs and test the extent of my power. Like I expected, they quickly appeared. It seems that they were following me.

‘Of course, that's evident, because my clothes are expensive. If anything goes wrong, Emilia will save me, so there's no need to worry. What a stupid girl.’

“Yo, Tondshinkan!"

"Tf you talkin' 'bout??" said Shin.

“Omae wa mu SHINdeiru.” I hope they got the pun.

I swiftly moved towards Shin, spun around, and kicked him into the chin. His body flew into the wall and cracks started appearing on it. Before the other two could react, I moved my eyes towards them, and cast a powerful barrage of El Minyas.

"You-" started saying the fat one, before he was pinned to the wall, along the smaller one.

"Hmph, easy trash."

I then turned around and briskly walked towards the slums since we had to fight Elsa, and steal the insignia from that bitch. So, I ran and learned how to use mana reinforcement to get there in 15 minutes. I could see the underdeveloped wasteland around me.

‘What a bunch of idiots! they have no knowledge and all they do is rot in poverty, they could just be like me and learn to be perfect but they're too dimwitted for that.’

I then found the lighthouse and knocked on the door, I heard some murmuring and they took too long to open so I turned my cap backwards and punched the door down using my mana reinforcement.

“Now, give me that insignia,” I ordered them. The old man Rim charged me with his bat, I jumped behind him and hit his neck with my palm taking him down, I then turned towards Felt to take the insignia back.