Something Like Fall

Chapter IV- December 2015

The last few days of November we've been cleaning the school separately with Jacob. This time I was the one to ask cleaning ladies to send me to a different school area. And this is how we fulfilled our punishment- we did the project, had been cleaning the school for more than a month...Now there's no single reason at all why I and he should spend the time together. I keep with my weird friends like Sebastian and Tobias, and that's pretty all I need. I still have a big bruise on my cheek. I hope there won't be any scar or anything. I have to admit I got all I wanted through the last 2 months- the interest of people I had a crush on (Beatrice, Cristian, Aaron), being multiple times in the center of attention, popular friends, proving to everyone I'm not a good boy anymore, living on the edge...I got finally everything I wanted only to find out this isn't what I really want. I thought through my entire life I wanna be one of these cool kids, popular, rebel, noticed by everyone in school....Nah. I mean, I'm happy it happened, cause if that didn't happen I would still crave attention and popular friends, not knowing it isn't what I really want. I addicted my happiness FOR YEARS to people like Aaron or Beatrice- popular, easy-going, considered cool...despite according to me they're not really cool after all. I'd never treat anyone in my life like they treated me. I didn't deserve it. I always loved people with all my heart. I was just REAL. I am still real. This is something they don't have. I found out, after all these years that for the whole time the cool person I had been searching for was...me. So no regrets about everything that happened. And now I'm going towards Aaron's crew. Most of them laugh at me because of this cringe presentation we had to present with Aaron but I don't care! 

-Hi buddy, how are you doing- Rafał shakes my hand.

I shake hands with all the guys, except Aaron, and hug girls. Aaron seems sad because of that.

-Camilla, can I ask you for a minute?

Everybody goes OOOH! I think they know what am I supposed to do.

-Do you wanna be my girlfriend?

She says yes and falls into my arms and we kiss each other. I felt like I was in an American rom-com or something xd I don't know why at this time I somehow cast a glance at Aaron's reaction. He doesn't applaud us like the rest of the guys. He looks in a strange way at me I can not describe. I don't know what does it mean. I don't care though. Holding hands with Camilla and looking at each other we come back to Aaron and his friends. Having my arm around Camilla we're talking with the group and everyone congratulates us, except Aaron. He can't stop staring at me. He isn't worried or sad anymore. His stare is full of overconfidence. This is the type of eyes "so it means fight? I'm ready". I laugh out loud and can't stop. I have a girlfriend! I'm confident. I'm easy-going and not scared of anything. My life finally goes the way it should have been a long time ago. I'm finally becoming a person I should have become a long time ago. 

After school Sebastian, Justin, Bartek, and I came over to Damon. We're supposed to make a project on civics about currency. BOOORING! I'm ready for preparing this presentation the whole fucken afternoon, but my buddies came to a quite different idea- they found a ready presentation on the internet, made already by someone else. The presentation was quite good and contained everything we were supposed to include in our presentation. I thought like "well, cool, but she gives the same topic of a presentation to every one group every single year on civics lessons. She'll find out we just copied the entire presentation". I easily noticed my friends aren't interested in the presentation too, and they just want to have it already done. I told them what I thought, but every one of them was like: "oh, shut up! Everything will be fine!", so I was like "okay then" xd The only thing we changed were the names of the persons who made it. Damon just deleted it and typed our names instead xd The rest of the meeting we played XBOX.

The next days at school I try my best to make my girlfriend feel taken care of. We go through the corridor holding hands talk all the time, hug, kiss, talking about everything. She's extremely focused in the moment and easy-going. She has millions of ideas in one minute...just like Aaron... so it's sometimes hard for me to catch up with her. We spend still a lot of time with Aaron and his friends, but whenever I appear in his sight range he does his best to pay his attention only to his girlfriend Asia. I'm wondering how many times they did THAT. You know what I mean. Damn, I don't care. I introduced Camilla to my friends but...she didn't like them. So I think they didn't make a good impression of her. I think she didn't even try to fit in. She didn't even try to find a common language with them. She just waited for my mates to entertain her. She wasn't glad, so now if we spend the time outside Aaron's circle we step to Paulina or Kinga. They're popular and easy-going so they spend a great time talking to each other. I miss my calm breaks with Sebastian, Tobias, Aiden, or Jacob from my class...when I had only them and everything was so calm and I didn't feel all eyes focused on me. Didn't have to think all the time about how to entertain my girlfriend. She's cool, but the more time I spend with her it seems more and more that I pushed myself too fast into this relationship.