You can seem like the strongest person ever existed. Good-hearted, joyful, sweet. And still, sometimes you just lie there. Starring at the ceiling, crying over a stupid detail everyone already forgave you for a long time ago. Doubtlessly the tears aren't about this small and unnecessary thing, the detail symbolizes something big. A whole topic, the big situation.
It goes without saying it doesn't change anything that everyone else already forgot because you didn't. In your mind, you remember it clearly as it would've happened yesterday. It's impossible to forgive yourself as easily as others did. You're being hard on yourself. You're your meanest and unfairest judge. All that just because you think you deserve it. You want to suffer in hell. You suffer in your own hell because no one else wants you in hell. However, you're scared people won't see you actually love them, just because of little details they couldn't possibly remember.
Without doubt, the small details are so huge you can't handle them and even less could ever forgive yourself. Because now, the small giant unimportant meaningful giraffe gets dusty.
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Love stories that didn't happen
PoetryAll meine Gedanken, all meine Worte, die ich nie gesagt habe, befinden sich in diesem Buch. Ein Kapitel weniger und ich würde heute nicht die sein, die ich bin. Sieht man genauer hin, ist jedes scheinbar wahllos aneinandergereihte Kapitel Teil einer...
