Arrangement

12 - Good Girl

TW: anxiety, mentions of past trauma, being scared

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Even though she was so exhausted, Y/N found it difficult to stay asleep throughout the night. She had come here with a purpose, but then she had been so cold and seeing Shouta again had felt so overwhelming and she wanted him so much, she never got around to telling him why she showed up in the first place.

She had been thinking about how she had fucked it all up so badly the last few days and she couldn't seem to come to terms with it and she knew... she fucking knew that he was a good guy and wouldn't take advantage of her, but somehow there was just this block in her brain most days where her knowing that fact didn't get through to her brain. So she kept feeling like she couldn't be safe and comfortable around him, even though she knew that he wouldn't hurt her.

And then, as she was just ready to go and call him and talk it all through... he somehow found her. He had somehow found her online and messaged her, completely out of the blue. And Y/N wasn't prepared for it at all. She saw the message and had gone into a full on panic attack. She had immediately blocked him, but that didn't stop her from panicking and thinking and thinking, until she was a crying mess. And then she had seen Shouta's text and somehow... somehow she had managed to calm herself down again and she knew she had to do it now or she'd get anxious over everything again and somehow fuck it up even worse than before.

She didn't care too much that it was raining, she figured she'd be there in no time, so she just got dressed in a shirt and pants, wearing a leather jacket over it. She grabbed a few things, throwing them into her bag and rushing out of the door. She was going to take the train and be at Shouta's place in a few minutes, but... well, once she got to the train station she realized that she couldn't find her train ticket. Which meant she would either have to walk all the way to Shouta's apartment or... or go back home and get the ticket. And Y/N didn't want to go back home.

So she figured it would be a good idea to walk all the way to Shouta's place. After about five minutes of walking she figured that it was a dumb idea, but she was too stubborn to turn around, so she just kept going. And that's how she ended up in front of his door, soaking wet and with no intention to go back home.

She wasn't sure what had possessed her to head over to his apartment and tell him she wanted him to fuck her, but she was glad that she did. It really took her mind off everything and it made her feel a whole lot less miserable and that was the goal, wasn't it? Not to feel miserable?

But after falling asleep from exhaustion for a short while, she had woken up again and she just wanted to get a shower now and tell him what she wanted to say in the first place and get it over with. She knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep properly if she didn't get it off her mind soon.

She rolled over to the side, looking at Shouta who seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Y/N didn't know how he did it. Since she had started hero work - no, even since the work studies at U.A. - she had not been able to sleep properly. She found it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep and she'd often have nightmares. It just seemed to be something that came with the job of being a hero. You just saw things and it was difficult to forget them and... well, nightmares were a given.