Blessed Sins

fighting fibro

For context, I was diagnosed with juvenile fibromyalgia roughly ten months ago. Fibromyalgia is a condition usually caused by emotional and/or physical truama, genetics or changes in the processing of pain in the brain or spinal cord. In patients with fibromyalgia have a heightened sense of pain and touch, causing extreme pain in the body in nowhere specific.

Fibromyalgia is an extremely crippling condition to a person of my age, as I have extreme pain with any physical activities, and I am at a crucial age for bodily/muscular development. Please tell others about this condition, or merely share an article on this condition. If you suffer from fibromyalgia, know you are not alone in your struggles and things will get better someday. The pain will end eventually. Please keep going.

O∆O

•{ To live a miserably painful life isn't a life worth living. }•

You whisper words of discouragement into my weak mind, ailing my hopes and dreams with your evil fantasies of my giving up myself to you. You attach yourself to me, latching on like a leach sucking my very essence out of me, tear by tear, drop by drop, failure by failure.

What did I do to deserve this? To deserve such an ailing pet, constantly petting me with claws of hopelessness and loss. Your claws taint my pale skin with your bodily poison, ailing with the inability to move my limbs.

As your poison enters my body, my head throbs, my joints ache, my skin burns, my body weakens. I sob as you impale me with your hate, ruining my childhood with your evil soliloquies.

You sing with the devil's instruments, playing only songs of my sorrows I have suffered and sorrows I will suffer. Your tone reminds me of my failures--the times I have fallen because of you. You blame me for it. But you were the one adding the world's weight to my back--the weight of the world I see as a corroded, rusty blade slowly entering my body, poisoning my skin with diseases.

You corroded the world--changing the beautifully serene scenery into the devil's sword, dripping with my essence and blood. Your tongue races across the blade, tasting my blood, turning into petrified cells, wanting nothing more but to be freed from the hell of this pain.

Have I hurt you? Have I eroded you to the extent that you are nothing more but the shell of what used to be a beautiful, living creature, full of life and possibility?

I used to be perfect. I used to be happy. But I had to say goodbye to the happy me, because you held a gun to my head,  threatening to shoot.

Now, the only thing I want is to be shot.