Pining [H.E.S.]

Prologue

I was in love. I was entirely head over heels in love. In love with a girl who I couldn't get my hands on, no matter how hard I would try. But I lived with it.

Some mornings I woke up in the room next to hers. I would make her breakfast and we would sit next to each other on the couch, and we would watch her favorite TV show. But I wasn't paying any attention to the television those mornings when she sat next to me. Those mornings, I sat on the end of the couch with my plate of food resting on my lap and I watched her. I watched her hazel eyes that flickered left and right as the scene changed on the television. I watched her nimble hands mindlessly move her fork from the plate to her mouth. I watched her when she brushed some of her long brown hair behind her shoulder. I watched her lips curl into an adorable smile when something amusing would happen on her favorite TV show. These types of mornings were my favorite mornings.

But there were other mornings, too. Mornings without her in the place we call home together. Mornings that were lonely. I wouldn't make breakfast, maybe put some cereal in a bowl that I wouldn't bother eating. I wouldn't turn on the television to her favorite show, and I wouldn't get to watch her like I did on the good mornings. I would go back to my room and shut the door. These types of mornings were my least favorite mornings. The mornings that she was with him.

He was everything to her. In her mind, he hung the moon and stars. He was the most important man on the planet, the only person that mattered. But to him, she was just a toy. She wasn't worth what he was to her. He only wanted her for his own benefit, but hell if he didn't do a good job of acting like he cared. She thought he loved her, and she loved him for that. She would die for him, and he would let her. He hurt her and beat her down, but she still worshipped him. He was a god to her. He was her everything. And I was jealous.

I was jealous of the way she looked at him. I was jealous of him because he got to hear her say his name in the most loving way possible. I was jealous of the way she kissed him. I was jealous of the way she loved him. I was jealous of everything he had. I wanted to wake up in the same bed with her. I wanted to hear my name slip from her lips when we shared an intimate moment. I wanted to love her, and her to love me. I wanted everything he had the opportunity to get. I wanted her.