Pining [H.E.S.]

Chapter 1

I stood in front of the stove, flipping bacon strips that were crackling in the pan. "Harry?" I heard a soft voice call from down the hallway. A small figure stepped through the doorway of the kitchen and into the light.

"Morning, Grace," I greeted my roommate. She was dressed in her usual pajamas, nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. Her dark hair was a mess, sticking to her forehead and filled with tangles. But she looked beautiful this way. I relished in the mornings I was able to see her this way. The mornings when she was just waking up, no makeup or fancy hair styles. It was who Grace was, it was just her.

"What's for breakfast this morning?" Her voice sounded tired, but she still had a smile on her face as she looked at me from the doorway. God, I loved that smile. It was the half curled smile, a smile that looked so effortlessly gorgeous. My heart felt like it was being squeezed until it burst.

After a brief pause, I answered, "Bacon and cereal. The bacon's done, and I'll make a bowl of lucky charms in just a second." Grace walked up behind me and threw her arms around my waist as I set the last piece of sizzling bacon onto the plate beside the stove. She sighed happily into my back. Moments like these are what reminded me why it hurt so much to be around Grace.

"You're the greatest friend I could ask for, " she said. I sighed quietly. Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind being Grace's best friend. As a matter of fact, I loved that we were best friends. There was just one little issue with that.

I was in love with her. In love to the point where it hurt me to be around her sometimes. But even if it hurt, even if it made me want to die inside, I would never stop being her best friend.
"Oh, by the way, Ryan will be over soon. We're gonna go to a movie," she informed me bluntly and suddenly. Great.

After Grace left the kitchen to go brush her teeth, I slumped over the counter. I had my hands on my forehead, my fingers threaded through my hair. I sighed deeply. I hated when she was gone. I hated it even more knowing she was out with her abusive boyfriend, Ryan. Grace refused to believe anything other than Ryan just has a temper. My chest felt like it caved in the more I thought about Grace and Ryan together. My stomach felt like it fell to the floor when I imagined Ryan hurting Grace.

I closed my eyes tight, trying to rid the image of a beaten up Grace from my mind. I shook my head and looked back down at the counter.

"Harry?" I straightened my back immediately, pretending that nothing was wrong. "What's up with you?" Asked Grace.

"Nothing," I replied casually. I needed to change the subject. "Didn't I say I was making you lucky charms?" Grace nodded hesitantly. I quickly busied myself by pouring the cereal in one of our plastic bowls, followed by a little too much milk. Just the way she likes it. I hurriedly put the bowl of cereal on a plate and placed three strips of bacon beside the bowl. I turned in my heels, and handed Grace the plate.

She looked at me with her eyebrows furrowed, trying to see what I was thinking. Her hazel eyes scanned over my face and she had a wrinkle in her forehead. I stared back at her, soaking in every feature from her slim nose to her round eyes and to her plump lips. My mind was repeating, 'I love you, I love you, I love you.'

I followed Grace into the living room. She plopped down onto the couch and began to eat away at her cereal as soon as she used the remote to turn on the TV. I sat down on the soft cushion next to her, and took a bite of the bacon I had in my hand. I loved this. I loved sitting next to her like this on a relaxing morning. I loved that we didn't even have to be talking for me to enjoy her company.

But there was still that gnawing feeling in my chest, knowing she would be leaving soon to go with her boyfriend. And soon enough, she was already throwing her dishes in the sink and off into the bathroom to get ready.

I sat quietly on the couch while barely paying attention to the television show that was playing. It was an episode of Friends that I'd probably seen seven times before. A few moments after I finished my bacon, Grace came out of the hallway and into the living room, primped and polished. I audibly sighed, looking away from her and to the telly. There was no denying that she looked absolutely stunning when she had makeup on and styled her hair, but I felt like it was unnecessary.

"Why do you get all dressed up like this for Ryan?" I asked her as she made her way back over to the couch. She just shrugged.

"He likes me better when I look like this," she stated simply. It made my stomach turn. It was frightening how oblivious she was to how horrible Ryan was to her. I can't believe that Grace would settle for someone like him, he was a low life scumbag.

"Well if he really loved you, Grace, he wouldn't mind whether you dressed up or not," I responded, and almost immediately regretted it. She glared at me then, shot daggers with her usually soft eyes.

"Harry, he does love me. I know he does," she defended. "Why do you have to go and say things like that? I can't stand it when you do that." She was scolding me. I knew saying something about Ryan would get me nowhere but trouble with her, and yet I did it all the time.

"I'm just saying.."

"Sometimes it might be better not to say anything at all, H. I feel like whenever you say something like that you just want to hurt my feelings." My heart sank and my eyes softened as I looked at her facial features.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, Grace, really I didn't. I just think-" I was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Grace quickly stood and opened it up, revealing the tall, light haired, blue eyed Ryan.

"Hey babe," he said, grabbing her by her face and pulling her into a sloppy and undignified kiss. I had to look away. My stomach was twisting and my head was pounding. It hurt so bad, so bloody bad to see them kiss. I wanted to be the one kissing her, but I wanted to do it right. I wanted to cup her cheeks gently, and lean in slowly. I wanted to press my lips lovingly to hers, instead of just slamming into them with no warning. I wanted to run my hands through her hair soothingly as we shared a kiss, and feel her smile against my lips. I shook my head to escape from the daydream I was in.

"Hi, Ryan," Grace responded, slightly out of breath. I looked back when I figured they were finished kissing.

"You ready?" Ryan asked, sliding his hands obscenely down her torso and squeezing her rear. It made me want to vomit, I was becoming physically ill just watching them. Grace just smiled up at him, like he was the best fucking thing on the planet. She nodded, and grabbed her purse that was hanging on a chair.

"Bye, Harry," she said. She didn't even look back before she slammed the door shut. I wanted to scream after she left. Seeing them kiss pained me more than it should have, I know, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't help that I was desperately in love with this girl. I couldn't help it.