The walk back together was a silent one. Neither one of us peeped a sound. Only the occasional car passing by would provide some background noise, as we headed home. I looked at him and wondered what was going on. His eyes were locked on, straight ahead. They wouldn't even budge to blink. He was so emotionless. Things were hard for the both of us, especially now. I don't know what he's going through. I wish I could help. I wish I didn't have my own things bothering me. If it could all change in an instant, I wished it would.
*A few hours earlier
"Are you ready for school?" My mom asked.
She had her hair tied back into a pony tail; her hair flowing slightly above her shoulders.It was starting to get long again. She had cut it a while back. She says went it gets too long it stresses her out. Messes up her sensation of bodily peace or something like that.
"Not really," I replied.
She must have noticed my somber tone. She turned her back on the eggs and walked my way. Her hand gently settled on my shoulder. Her unusually dark brown eyes lightened up a bit. The morning light sparkled in it.
"I know that it's hard. But trust me soon it will get easier. Just hold on a bit longer dear."
"How much longer Mom! You say this every year!" I snapped a bit.
She smiled yet her eyes looked disheartened. Was it because I yelled at her or because she felt sorry for me?
"I think this time this is it,Gishana. I've been saving over the years and I'm almost to my goal. Once I reach it, we'll be able to move. I promise."
"When Mom! I just can't anymore."
"Give it one more year. You'll be in high school. You can start all over then. Just hold out. I want to leave too. We just need to be patient a bit longer. You understand?"
"Yeah."
I felt her endearing presence grow. It felt like little puffs of dandelions filling the air. Their fuzziness containing warm feelings and optimism. Almost enough to touch my soul. To change my whole mood. A new perspective. Yet reality would knock this all down.
I sighed as I left the car. Even the Summer's Top 10 Playlist on the radio couldn't uplift my morale for today.
"Remember to walk Idate home after school. Alright?" my mom advised.
"I won't forget. Bye."
I walked into my classroom. Everyone was talking and mingling before the bell went off. Stories of exciting moments from the summer and small reunions were the hot topic of the morning. Some people were thrilled to be in the same class again, while others were disappointed with the people they have been placed with. For me nothing had really changed.
I sat in the corner by myself next to Julie Rosewoods. Her face was hidden by the book held in front of her. It was titled Babe I'm a Vampire. She paid no attention to the world around her. Instead she was entranced by the imaginary one from the book. Julie was never one of many words. She hardly talked to anyone as long as I had known her. Yet somehow she would greet me amicably. I guess that meant that she didn't necessarily hate me. Though I wouldn't say that we were close friends. Maybe just two similar personalities, acknowledging each other's existence.
"Hey Julie, nice to see you again," I waved.
"Yeah nice to see you too," she smiled and then shifted her eyes back to the book.
That was how our conversations usually went. Short and simple. Still I appreciated our exchanges because I knew that she didn't have any bad blood against me. No matter what she heard or what others said about me, didn't alter her opinion of me.
Across the opposite side of the room, the other kids yelled "Alara!!" as soon as she walked into the room. Alara Watterson was a social butterfly. She would talk to anyone, the type of clique they were in did not matter. She had extraordinary social energy around her. It would make all the extroverts flock towards her and the introverts feel comfortable enough to break free of their shells. People loved Alara. Some might even go as far to call her an angel. However, like all things too good to be true, Alara's sunshine had a catch to it. She was an elusive gossiper. I had to learn that the hard way.
Back in 6th grade, she was the new girl that had recently moved into town. Usually for most people, it'd be pretty difficult to fit in and find new friends, but Alara wasn't most people. She flourished in her first month, becoming one of the most likable students at the school. Even when I was still being avoided, she met me with open arms, easily gaining my friendship and trust. When she came into my life, I thought school wouldn't be so bad anymore. Her friendship illuminated my world, temporarily stopping my loneliness. "Maybe I could finally move on," I had thought.
One day in the hallways during class, I had taken the pass for the bathroom. I heard two girls talking and laughing around the corner.
"No way are you serious?!" one exclaimed.
"Yeah that's what Alara told me!" the other snickered.
" I knew she was weird! That's why she has no friends! Besides what kinda name is Gishana anyways?!"
"I know right! Her and her weird cousin should just leave!"
The sudden urge to tell them off came, yet it wasn't strong enough. My heart sank into my stomach. I could feel my body shaking, signaling it to cry, but I didn't want them to find out that I heard all. I turned around and fled past the opposite corner. There I waited for them to pass. As soon as their laughter made its distance, I ran. I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom,bursting through the door. A sudden sick feeling had overcome me. My eyes glanced down into the toilet, the water reflecting my pathetic state. Vomit streamed down into the toilet like a waterfall in a moments breath. The negative energy welled up inside my being took the liberty of releasing itself independently. "Why did I feel this way?" I wondered. Was it that serious for me to be doing this? Why did it hurt so much?
The time I spent in the restroom felt like an eternity. Though when I returned to the classroom, hardly anyone had noticed my absence. I went home early that day, accepting the fact that friends didn't exist for me in this town.
