Aasa ba? (Wattys2015)

Aasa 3

Aasa III

Late akong dumating ng paaralan dahil inasikaso ko muna si Ate. Nilutan ko siya at pinakain. I hate to see her so down and damage when in fact she was the loveliest person I had ever met in my entire life.

“Miss Chi. You, is not an excuse to this. Write ‘I will never be late again’ 100 times in a sheet of paper and you can come in.” napabagsak balikat ako nang sabihin sa akin iyon ng aming Disciplinarian. Pwedeng umiyak? 100? Are they kidding me?

Ako na nga ang pagod, papagurin pa ako? Won’t they excuse me? Nakakaiyak ang 100 times for petesake!

“Pero sir. May problema kami sa bahay kaya ako na-late. Hindi ko naman sinasadya eh. Please naman oh.” Pagmamakaawa ko dito. Umiinit na ang mata ko.

“No excuses. Do it now.” Aniya at umalis.

I sighed of disappointment. People will never understand your feeling if we are dealing and living with rules. I learned that in the hard way when I was younger.

Mabigat ang puso ko nang pumasok akong detention room. May mga schoolmates din akong andito. Lima kami lahat at pareho kaming mga seniors. I think sa kabilang section sila.

Umupo ako sa bakanteng upuan sa likoran. May lalaki akong katabi at natutulog ito na nakayuko sa arm rest.

Parang umilaw ang utak ko sa aking nakita. Matulog nalang kaya ko? I am never good at following orders and I hate writing as much as I hate talking with strangers. Bahala na ang disciplinarian namin kung magalit siya.

Ginaya ko ang katabi ko at kinuha ang headphones ko and I immediately volume-up the sound. Fvck the world. I’m not interested. Yumuko din ako sa arm rest at pumikit. If this is what I get for hating the world, I’ll keep on sleeping until I’m over.

**

Nagising akong may kumilabit sa braso ko. Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang mata ko at tinanggal ang headphones. Nakakita ako agad ng mukha ng demonyo na nakangiti sa harapan ko. Inilibot ko ang paningin ko at nakitang kaming dalawa nalang dito sa detention room.

Tumaas ang kilay ko at masama siyang tiningnan.

“What?” I hissed. Why is he here?

“Mahal talaga ako ng mundo at pinagtatagpo talaga nila ang mga landas natin, ano?” tumindig ang palahibo ko sa sinabi nito.

“Baliw ka ba?” naiinis kong tanong.

“Hindi pa naman. Pero malapit na kapag maging okay na tayo.” Mas lalong kumilabot ang balahibo ko. Sabog ba siya? O nakainom? Is he on drugs? Why is he saying trashy words?

“You know what, Ashley. I don’t really like you but you see, I keep on seeing you. The world wants me to like you. It just need for your permission. Can I like you?” kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya.

Nagpapatawa ba siya?

“Are you taking some cannabis at this early, Delfin? You’re high as a drug user. Why don’t you just shut up and get lost?” manhid ba siya? Can’t he see ayaw ko sa kanya?

“If you keep on denying the truth, you’ll just hurt yourself Ashley. Why don’t you just tell me that you like me too?” He said again with too much confidence. Gusto kong masuka sa sinabi niya. Liking a person will never be finish line to me.

Tumayo ako. At tumayo din siya.

“You know what, Delfin. I’m not one of the girls who get easily with your charming look and sweet mouth. If you think you can have me and then dump me afterwards, you better go to hell and look for an answer. Life will never go along with what you wanted and liked. Sometimes, it has to go my way. Look for someone who can fall with your deep abyss of game. Not someone who is smart enough to know about your tricks and masterpiece. Never will a tricky-asshole-playboy can get in with my life.”

Sinadya kong banggain siya nang lumabas ako sa detention room. I know later, pupuntahan ako ng Disciplinarian for not making hundred of ‘I will never be late again’ whatever words.

Dumiretso akong classroom at tahimik na umupo sa likoran. That Delfin is getting to my skin.