Aasa ba? (Wattys2015)

Aasa 4

Aasa IV

“Bessie, alam mo na ang balita?” I gave Mitzi a bored look.

Balita na naman.

“What is it, Mitz?” bulong ko. Ma’am Chy is in front. She is checking our seatwork and the whole classroom is quiet as a mass.

“Ricky Simoun Delfin is into you. Ipinagkalat niya sa buong campus at sinabihan na niya ang mga kalalakihan na no one will come to you except him.” Nagising ang buong sestema ko sa sinabi nito at linakihan ng mata si Mitzi.

“No way!” tumaas ang boses ko.

“Yes way. He posted it on twitter, instagram and facebook. There is no way, Bessie. It is yes way.”

Kumalabog ang puso ko sa sinabi nito at limpak na limpak na mura ang binitiwan ko sa aking isipan. He really is a demon! Ano ba ang gusto niya sa buhay ko? Why is he messing my silent world? He’ll complicate me. He’ll complicate my life!

“Girls, are you okay?” hindi ko pinansin si Ma’am Chy dahil nagbabangga na ang ngipin ko sa pagkainis kay Ricky.

“And you know his cousin named Ricabell? Siya ang nagsabi sa akin. Alam na din daw ng buong campus students at mga teachers. Alam na ng lahat. Alam na din daw ng principal because Ricky posted it in our Campus FB Page.” Nanghina ang buong katawan ko sa sinabi nito.

This. Is. Not. Happening.

Baliw ba siya? I just wanted to punch him straight to his masked-face. How can he mess with my life like this? Will I ever have the guts to go out of this room without gossips? People will talk about this surely. Pinapahiya niya ako sa buong campus. Pinapahiya niya ako sa mga guro.

Gusto kong takpan ang buong mukha ko paglabas ko ng classroom. People are staring on me like I am some sort of a crap. Gusto kong puntahan si Ricky at sampalin ng maraming beses para magising sa kahibangan niya. Gusto ko siyang saktan kasi pinapahiya niya ako sa buong campus.

Kahit nasa malayo ako, kitang-kita ko na ang anino niya sa gilid ng covered court na may kasamang babae. Magkahawak pa ang kanilang kamay at nagtatawanan. I evilly smirked. Playboy. Ang daming babae. He must be really joking. Maybe, he is mad because of the words I said to him. Maybe, galit siya sa akin kasi for the first time in his life, someone rejected his charms. Kaya pinapahiya niya ako sa buong campus because he wanted revenge. I might have hurt his pride and ego really hard. Napangiti nalang ako ng mapait sa gilid sabay ng pagbago ng isip kong sampalin siya at saktan. He needs attention that’s why he is doing that. Ang mabuti pa ay hindi ko nalang siya pansinin. He got no hold with my life anyway. He got no hold with my mind.

Sinadya kong dumaan sa harapan niya habang naglalampungan sila ng babaeng kasama niya. I acted cool and acted like there was no one in the way except me walking alone. Laro pala gusto niya, ah. I might as well give him a fair game to let him taste his own medicine. And that would be the most amazing thing in my life.

Pumunta akong library habang nag-iisip ng mga plano. Hindi pwedeng siya lang ang in-charged sa larong ito.

Nakita ko agad si Sef na mag-isa sa gilid. There’s no other vacant table except the table he is with. Umupo ako dito at nakita ko ang paglaki ng mata niya. I am never attracted to this guy that makes me easy to sit beside him.

Inilabas ko ang math book ko at aking notebook. Gagawa ako ng isang math assignment that I forgot to make last night. I still have few minutes before the math subject will start and give us headaches.

“Kamusta ka na?” napatingin ako kay Sef na ngayon ay nakatingin na sa akin.

“I’m fine.” I plainly said. He is definitely handsome. And why am I not attracted?

“I heard about Delfin. Is he pursuing you?” uminit na naman ang ulo ko nang marinig ang sinabi niya. Pwede ba kahit sa isang minuto man lang makalimutan ko ang Delfin na iyon?

Hindi ko nalang sinagot si Sef at ibinalik ang tingin sa aking assignment.

“If he is, will he have a chance, Ashley? A chance that you never gave to me?” parang dinudurog ni Sef ang puso ko sa basag niyang boses.

“Will he?” aniya ulit. Sobrang bait ni Sef. He deserves someone who is far from me.

“Sef, you’re a good guy.” Ang hirap para sa akin na kausapin siya ng ganito. I want him to stop pursuing me but I don’t want him to be upset.

“Yes. I’m a good guy, Ashley. And I’m far from what you wanted. Because I’m far from being Delfin.”

Napasapo ako sa aking noo at napayuko. Ramdam kong tumayo si Sef at umalis sa aking tabi. Binuksan ko ang aking mata nakitang wala na nga siya sa tabi ko.

Bakit ba ang gulo ng buhay ko ngayon?

Can I just undo time and go back to where the complication begun so that I can still fix it and it will never bother me this way?

I let out a deep sighed. Damn this.