Strawberries & Dreams | Taekook |

Chapter Three

It had been shortly before his mandatory military service, after Taehyung had passed all necessary medical exams, that he had endured one more interview, which turned out to be a particularly embarrassing one about sexuality. His sexuality. He had tried to find at least a definition on the internet beforehand, which described the lack of feeling and experience of sexual desire. He had found a definition that partially fit. At least he knew there was some sort of validation of his feelings towards sex. It had put a stop to pretending to be someone he clearly wasn't. If he was honest, it was a huge relief to him. How could he pretend to be someone if he had not any inkling of what he should be pretending about? He didn't know what it felt like to have a crush. He didn't know what it felt like to be in love or in lust with anyone no matter their gender. Once he accepted it, it became a non-issue for him. He was what he was, and he was okay with it. How could he miss something if he did not know what he was missing out on?

So why did the very thought of Jungkook, the guy in a ridiculous bucket hat and to whom he had been talking to for the past days, bring a multitude of new, weird emotions? When he thought about Jungkook's broad shoulders, long legs and narrow waist, the sharp jaw line and the very place where said jaw met the neck and the sinews and tendons that were in broad display when he was strained, Tae felt queasy and excited at the same time.

Perhaps these are those fabled butterflies in the stomach, he thought. But he could not deny the attraction he was feeling and it scared the living daylight out of him.

When Jungkook had turned up with Mrs Min's cake, he had needed all his willpower to appear cool, calm and collected. He was going through a lot of firsts these days. He had his first crush, feeling all tingly inside when he watched Jungkook talk so enthusiastically about music. That tingly feeling down his spine when he saw how the younger man's nose crinkled and his front teeth showed when he smiled. Taehyung's first – awkward he might add – boner appeared when he woke up that morning after having dreamt about Jungkook. Today was no exception. Today was the first day where he was so flustered and excited that his hands shook when he brought out the plates and spoons. He wondered how many firsts he would experience because of Jeon Jungkook. And he was not certain if he was ever ready for this. Or for him.

Both young men didn't know when exactly they had decided that Jungkook would spend his days at Tae's. Once they had shared the cake and spent the afternoon talking, by mutual yet unspoken agreement Jungkook had turned early up the next day to help Tae with his chores. They did not spend every minute of the day together. Usually Jungkook was painting or writing while Tae went about his day, looking after his grandfather or working in the fields. Yet the younger man also liked the more hands-on experience. When Tae's tractor was acting up, he agreed to help. Not that he knew anything about engines but he handed over any tool the other requested in order to fix the engine. It was a welcome change from the idol life Jungkook led back in Seoul. He liked the structure of Tae's days, the physicality of it.

Additionally, he took every chance he got to watch Tae in motion. Taehyung was one of these individuals who were handsome in repose but once animated he turned utterly beautiful and breathtaking.

Jungkook tried to capture it in photographs, videos and paintings, but they could only capture a part of the man's allure, a part of the aura that enfolded Taehyung like a cloak. So he tried to find the right words to put into lyrics. Jungkook caught himself more than once just staring at him. Staring, admiring and just wondering how it was possible to call this man his friend.

Unknown to himself, he had already taken the plunge.

One evening they were sharing a bottle of soju outside in the yard. Jungkook had always been fascinated that in the country so many more stars were visible in the night sky than in cities like Seoul or his own home town Busan. They both lay on the low seating platform, staring up into the sky. Taehyung's head rested on his crossed arms behind his head while Jungkook lay on his side, propped up on one elbow, alternating between looking up into the sky and watching Tae.

"Ever wondered if there is someone out there who does the same thing we are doing right now and wonders if there is someone out there?" Jungkook inquired, peering down at Tae who raised his eyebrows in response.

"Could be ..." His voice was laced with conviction rather than incredulity. "It would be quite a waste of space if we were the only ones. So even by the sheer amount of space of matter and anti-matter there should be some sort of creatures out there probably looking up at our neck of the universe and asking themselves ... what if there is a connection, right?"

"Like an indirect kiss ... only it's an indirect gaze," Jungkook grinned and both men laughed.

Over the past few days they had discovered they shared the same goofy and weird sense of humour and while others usually thought each of them were always too nerdy, too convoluted or confusing, or too weird, they got each other.

"I'll have to return to Seoul in two days ..." Jungkook said and felt Tae flinching beside him. Taehyung turned his face towards him and for a moment their gazes locked.

"And then you will go on tour, right?!" Tae inquired and kept his face carefully blank.

"Yes, four months. First South America, then the US and Canada and then Europe and South East Asia last. It will be fun to meet ARMY again ..." Jungkook said but his tone of voice didn't match his words.

"So, you will be living the glamorous idol life ..." Tae teased him. "Parties and women and booze ..."

"Perhaps other bands do that but for us it means we'll be heading back to our hotel rooms before midnight and get up really early the following morning to do practise or board another plane to the next location." Jungkook shifted, his body almost touching the whole length of Tae's. "The only time we partied was at this little hole in the wall Korean restaurant in Paris two years ago. The owner was a distant cousin of one of our managers and it was hilarious. Hobi – Jung Hoseok, our dancer - was so drunk afterwards we had to carry him back to the hotel because he got motion sickness in the car ..."

"Party Bangtan style," Tae said and they both laughed.

"We might be bulletproof but most of us are lightweights where booze is concerned, including me," Jungkook remarked, then added on a more serious note. "I will miss our talks."

"We could KakaoTalk ...I m-mean only ... i-if you'd w-want to ..." Tae replied, his nervousness making him stutter. The man sat up, looking anywhere but at Jungkook.

"I do," the younger one said. "We just need to figure out time zones and stuff."

"Are you even allowed to do this?" Tae looked over his shoulder at him. "Didn't you mention that management doesn't like you all having your own social media accounts?"

"They want to be able to monitor fan interaction with us, but this is personal. And I will use my own phone, not the endorsed one." He watched Tae from where he still reclined on the seating platform. Tae's curved back as he hugged his knees beckoned him and before Jungkook knew it, he reached out with his hand and brushed the back of his hand along the other man's spine as far as he could reach from his position. Taehyung looked back at him, a soft humming sound escaping his lips. That was all Jungkook needed to hear. In a lithe movement, he sat up as well, his hand sweeping up to grab Tae's nape and his fingers threaded into the hair at the back of his neck.

Tae let his head fall backward against Jungkook's hand. He closed his eyes as Jungkook tucked at his hair. Taehyung had never known that the roots of his hair could be one big erogenous zone.

"We make this work," he heard Jungkook say before a strong hand slid over his nape, leaving tiny little explosions on his skin and in the nerve cells beneath. For a moment they stared at each other before Jungkook tilted his head slightly and their mouths brushed, just for a second or two, their kiss gentle, almost timid and close mouthed. When they stopped both inhaled sharply as they rested their foreheads against each other.

"I haven't ..." Taehyung started, not sure how to explain. "That was my first."

"Mine, too ..." Jungkook replied, understanding.

Another first ... this time for both of them.

~__*__~

Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. Usually I write 5 to 10 WinWord pages but this was quite short. Hopefully it was sweet for you :) 

Comments are very welcome. Thanks!