Haikyuu!! One Shots (english)

Insecure (KinoMoto)

A/N: KinoMoto is the ship between Kinoshita and Yamamoto. I don't actually know their ship name, but I couldn't name it KinoYama because you wouldn't think of Yamamoto but rather of Yamaguchi or Kageyama (there are just too many Yamas) xD

Kinoshita stared at his feet. Quite ordinary white indoor shoes. His gaze wandered to the volleyball in his hands. He clasped his fingers onto it, as if he would never let go. But he had to.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He hated serves. You either did it good or it would fail, there was no in between, it could not be saved. You were completely alone behind the baseline, your team is faced the opposite direction, they trusted that the serve was going well.

But volleyball was a team sport. And Kinoshita didn't trust himself. His team was strong, but there was no one who could save him now. He was solely responsible for this. And that made him extremely nervous.

It was just a practice match, but Kinoshita didn't want to disappoint his team. As a regular player and a third-grader as well, he was supposed to be more confident, but he just couldn't get used to the feeling of a serve, when it wasn't in practice.

He could hear the whistle of the referee and Kinoshita took a last deep breath. 8 seconds. There was enough time to take it calmly. He opened his eyes and then he threw the ball into the air. He wasn't able to do a jump serve and certainly not a jump-float.

His right hand hit the ball and he followed it with his eyes until it crashed into the net and fell to the ground.

Kinoshita's stomach contracted. There was silence around the gym. Only the sound of the ever faster impact of the volleyball on the floor could be heard until it finally stayed still outside the court.

Kinoshita had the feeling of everyone staring him down and he clenched his teeth in frustration. He disappointed them once again. Why was he even a regular player in the first place, if he wasn't able to do anything right?

The anger at himself formed a lump in his throat and for a moment his legs seemed to stick to the ground. As he finally got back to the court, his thoughts were still on the failed serve. How could he be so stupid? He didn't even do a complicated serve. His eyes caught on his feet once again. Ordinary indoor shoes. Just like him. He was ordinary, while the rest of the team was extraordinarily good. He couldn't keep up with them.

"Hisashi!" The call echoed through the gym. Kinoshita looked up in surprise. His eyes found Yamamoto's angry gaze from the other side of the court. It was Nekomas turn to serve, but Yamamoto made no attempt to prepare for it. He stood on the baseline, the volleyball in his hand, his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes gleamed upset. His gaze was meant for Kinoshita.

"Get your shit together!" If it had been quiet before you could have heard a pin drop now.

Kinoshita looked at Yamamoto confused, his heart pounding against his chest.

"I know you can do it and everyone else in this room knows it as well", Yamamoto continued. His voice was loud, but the words reached Kinoshita only half-heartedly. What good was it that they all had expectations on him? He would just disappoint them even more.

"Pull yourself together, damn it!" Kinoshita stared into his eyes. How dare he say those words to him.

"You're not standing on the damn court for nothing, Hisoshi, so make something out of it!" The words echoed in Kinoshita's head.

There it was. His missing piece. That small part that brought his mechanism back to work.

And all of a sudden his body knew how to move once again, the lump in his throat slowly disappeared and a determined look spread on his face. Maybe he had disappointed his teammates, but he would show them what he was capable of.