The Suspect

chapter 29

*Not edited*

Tatum doesn't let go of me even for a moment and lets me cry into his chest. I let everything out, only now realizing the depth of the situation and the extent of the impact it had on me.

"I can't do this anymore," I croak between sobs.

I don't even know what this is. Is it the job? The case? Life? Everything has become interchangeable. They all mean the same to me, the lines in between slowly blurring, causing them to merge.

"Don't say that. You're not giving up," he says it as though he expects me to listen to him at once.

Lifting my head, I pull away from his hold and step back.

"No, you don't understand. I'm crumbling, okay. I'm breaking down, and nothing would ever help mend the pieces together. Solving the case would but hey, that's gone too. I'm all alone, so yeah, I fucking give up," I shrug and the movement is so contradictory to the words that just left my mouth. Like it isn't a big deal that I can't find out who killed my brother and his best friend.

"No, you're not. I'm here aren't I? Will, you can do this. I know you can. I'm not going anywhere," the gentleness and optimism in his voice almost make me feel like I can, but then I remember what happened the last time I heard those words.

That brings out a humorless laugh from me, "Funny, the exact same words seemed to have left the mouth of my mother before she took off," My voice turns bitter as I remember her, "Those words mean nothing to me."

Something flashes across his eyes and he blinks it away before clearing his throat, "Will, I promise you I will not fucking leave you until we get to bottom of this, okay? I promise."

Those words shoot right through my body and hit my heart with the same force as when they left my mother's mouth. Like a fool, I had believed her. I won't do it again. I can't.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," I softly say and disbelief coats his face like a second skin.

His hands cup my face and he looks at me like there's a fire burning past my eyes, "You know what I was promised? I was promised a better life. The people that adopted me fed me with promises and assurance about how I would live the best fucking life ever. After what happened, I stopped believing in them too. It was just a word. A word having no value to me anymore, and I swore to myself I would never believe one either," he grits his teeth, reflecting on those moments, "So, when I make a promise, I damn well intend to keep it. No matter what."

His words hit me with so much force that I believe him.

"Okay," I whisper but then remember my doom, "But I can't work on the case anymore. I don't even have any leads, not that I could do anything even if I did cause some half-pint, two good for nothing bitch of a dwarf decided to suspend me," I breathe deeply, after that sudden outburst.

"That's oddly....descriptive?" the guy cocks a brow at my said description and I decide to fill him in.

"He's five-three if you didn't already notice from that night at the ball," I mutter, rolling my eyes.

"Holy shit, are you serious?" he says with a chuckle and I nod in agreement.

"Don't stoop to his level by putting others down now," I deadpan with a smirk.

I wait for him to catch on and his face lights up when it does.

"Nice," he remarks with another deep chuckle and I find myself joining him.

The laughter dies out, followed by silence and I notice how for a few seconds there I forgot about all my worries and problems. That should scare me, but it doesn't.