Sakura returns from her mission in three days' time, and Kakashi is so engrossed in his new book that he almost dismisses her completely as a passerby.
In his defense, it's not as though he can help it; Mitsuki and Roku's attraction for one another has grown over the course of the book, and after having finally given in to the overwhelming temptation of admitting not only to himself, but to her as well, he kisses her just before leaving for The Land of Sand to ascend among rank in the higher priests. Heartbroken, Mitsuki has now found a substitute in another man her own age, Kahn, and the two marry and moved away together. However, Kahn is only interested in her annual fortune, and the possibility of producing a son, and Mitsuki is left to herself while her husband works abroad to scrimp and save and live on pennies to do whatever is necessary to maximize their savings, thus leading up to the part he's at now where she births their first child - a girl - with no one but their neighbors and a distraught Roku for company.
"She was like a lighthouse, Roku thought. Flashes of grief every time her mind came round to that pitch of emotion which was too great to be contained; a huge flare, and then a long period of nothing."
"Hey! What's the big idea, ignoring your favorite pupil like that!"
Torn from the pages, Kakashi raises his head and looks back to see his former student behind him.
She's a vision of pink against the pale, dirt background of their surroundings, if only a little rugged and battle-worn (Kami, he's been reading this damn thing too much already; he's never this poetic in his musings). He subtly closes the book on his thumb to keep his place and acknowledges his favorite pupil.
"Hey, there, kiddo. How ya doing?"
He lifts his right hand to brush away a smudge of dirt on her cheek with his thumb, and she lets him before turning her face away like a petulant child.
"Yuck! Kiddo?!" She pushes his hand away once her face is clean, disgusted by the very notion. "Who you trying to convince with that one? Me or you?"
The question takes him off guard, and he is suddenly uncomfortable.
To be honest, he's not quite sure.
Who is he trying to convince here?
Perhaps both, because he is neither ready to fully admit to himself that Sakura is now a grown woman, nor is he willing to acknowledge that she is capable of making her own decisions, and may very well hold a similar affection for him just as easily as she could crush his hopes of any such thing being so.
Frankly, he's afraid of either one happening.
She's truly the best thing that has ever happened to him since Rin, and he finds that slowly, one by one, images of her face, her lips, her laugh, are being replaced with Sakura's. She has unwittingly become his person, his one other being more important than himself whom he would truly do anything for. He's started enjoying life again, and looking forward to each day without quite so much dread.
He loves her company. Hell, he loves her. Maybe not to the extent that she would proclaim for, say, Sasuke, but still. It is some form of love. He knows that much.
But he can't say any of this.
Can't ruin it.
Can't risk pushing her away.
Not now, when she is so close.
"You tell me," he laughs, taking his offending hand and scratching the back of his head to attempt to cover his awkwardness.
Her eyes squint the slightest bit, and he knows deep down that she knows the motive behind his actions, knows what he's trying to hide, but neither of them acknowledge it. Merciful, she shifts the attention onto Birds of Thorn.
"How are you liking the book so far?"
As though only just remembering he had it in his hand, Kakashi raises the book and waves it about in a humorous - albeit nervous - fashion.
"Oh, this old thing? Why, a friend dropped it off and I find myself enjoying it very much, thank you."
"Oh? A friend?" Sakura asks coyly, playing along. "I didn't know you had those. Do tell?"
He mentally sighs in relief; yes. This is territory he's familiar with, territory he's happy with. Where everything is light and easy and fun and just scratching the surface of what they both know truly lies beneath their joking and teasing and touches and lingering stares and inside jokes...beneath everything. Yes. He is happy to be skating just along the ice.
"Why, yes, I do, believe it or not, and they actually cared enough to send me a gift while I recovered in the hospital. Unlike you."
She raises a hand to her chest, feigns shock. "Oh! Are you suggesting that your favorite pupil would leave on a mission without saying goodbye?"
"I'm saying someone made sure to. Not necessarily that it was you," he quips, raising the book back to eye level and resuming walking.
Sakura automatically sidles up beside him, and he secretly loves that he can just start going anywhere and she immediately knows that she is permitted to follow. They walk and talk about Birds of Thorn and how much they love Mitsuki and hate Kahn, and hope the twins Sachi and Ren don't get drafted into the coming war and how they would never want to live in Sand or Fire permanently, and the thousand other little micro topics their conversation branches into.
He looks back on this moment years later and wishes, wishes that he would've just taken her face in his hands and kissed her right then and there; would've saved the both of them a lot of trouble.
