When do people actually start to care. How much shit has to happen just for someone to notice their surroundings. Why are we all 𝑂𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑠. Dream a little dream of me now that its finally all over.
Disclaimer: suicidal mentions as well as sui...
Day 15 (short chapter) Trigger Warning ⚠️⛔️: drug usage, suicide, self harm.
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It was 12 pm, the afternoon, the sun brightly lit up my room through my opened window. I was fresh out the shower. I had been eager all morning. I opened my closet door and turned on the camera recording.
I didn't bother to get dressed meaning in less than a half hour, hopefully, I'm dead. I grabbed a belt and made holes all down it so that I can be sure to tighten it as tight as it will go around my neck. Afterwards I finally felt the perc' kick in that I took maybe an hour ago. I looked in the mirror Nova mimicking me. I waved goodbye and she faded away my actual reflection becoming visible.
I looked absolutely terrible and I don't even care.
For once I felt happy, ready to kill myself and be put out of this slump. Living has ruined me and I don't want to live anymore or ever again.
I grabbed the new blade and my suicide note. I taped the note to the floor near my bathroom. I won't be stood up the entire time I know my body will collapse so hopefully I fall near it and someone sees. I smiled into the camera as I took the belt and tightened it around my throat as tight as I could. My skin being wrapped and pulled. My head instantly in pain from the sudden action. I grabbed the blade as my face turned red and cut deep into my left arm straight up my wrist. I then tried my best to cut straight up the other before I dropped the needle.
Minutes go by and I look down at my arms best I can. The blood squirting and falling out my arms. I looked at my leg, his name and let a tear fall. I shed a few for my father as well. I'll miss him.
More time passes and I feel as I go in and out of consciousness. I fall back hitting my head on the frame of the door. I laid there the pain increases in my body. I relax just letting my body go. Accepting the fact that I want to die. I don't try to breathe anymore but hold my breath on top of my airway begging squeezed and blocked.
After 10 more minutes I was fully dead. No oxygen to my brain. Knowing that even if someone had walked in I'd be brain dead and want to be killed anyway. I don't want to live any more and who wants a life while being brain dead.
My nude body laying on the floor of my bedroom. My arms having blood spilled out of them and my face red and blue from my lack of oxygen. I no longer felt anything. The pain gone. I know for a fact my body must of felt relief. Scarlet Nova is dead. I wonder just how oblivious everyone was to how bad I really suffered being alive.
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