Abandonment
Do you sometimes feel that a relationship you share with someone is not as you wish it were? So very far from your expectations, your desires, leaving nothing but a yearning for more. So much more.
It's at the times when you are alone, truly desolate that you contemplate upon each detail of your life; how you spent your day: your regrets: your dreams: memories: your past & your present.
At times like those there is no escape, your conscience shows no mercy. Your mind captures you in its tight confines trapping you within steel barriers of its complex cage. There's no way out; you are utterly alone.
No matter how many times you tell yourself, 'don't compare your relationship with others! Be grateful for what you do have even if it's so little...'
You still can't help but question your own reasoning because in the end everyone always wants more, it's never enough!
Especially when others have what you long for. Is it too much to ask for? I'm not asking for us to suddenly be best friends and spend every minute together. All I want is some acknowledgement! You don't understand what effect your harsh nonchalant behavior has on me; I feel as though I am being repeatedly stabbed, causing lacerations that cut deep. So deep I could drown in the pools of my bleeding vessel, that is all that remains of me immense emptiness.
I see how you are with others and I know you are capable of emotion... of attachment.
The aching grows stronger. Tortured. I feel so tormented because I know you chose not to mend our ties even when you can. I know you can. You know you can. The world knows you can. God knows you can! So tell me what's stopping you? It can't be your pride, can it? Or do you truly believe it's beyond salvation?
Tell me please. Even better, show me a glimmer of your feelings. A simple smile or single word. The smallest gestures can have the biggest effect... it's like Dominos; the single drop of one piece can change the whole game.
Anxiety
A cracked silence befell; the only sound the pounding of a beating heart. The soft thumping sound sounded similar to the whoosh of waves trickling slowly against the earth. Faint and rhythmic, gradually increasing in sound plucking at the depths of my soul, but to my surprise bought me immense joy.
Pulsing, pounding, yearning, beating, thumping...
Ba bum, ba bum, ba bum.
Ba bum, ba bum, ba bum.
My heart was out of control, it jumped as if prompted by an electrical surge dancing around to the beat, drowned with anguish and uncertainty.
I had to see, just one look whose heart did this beating belong to?
Anger
I was feeling beyond frustrated, frustration was quickly developing into totally uncontrollable anger. I was close to being tagged as clinically insane! Haa! I scoff, "yeah insane with that fucking emotion everyone calls jealousy... she just never listens, it seems its her favorite pass-time..."
Shattering the already broken pieces of what she calls hers, if she thinks she's claimed my heart she can think again cause I'll never surrender willingly, she however will always belong to me & she better bloody get used to it, even if I have to tattoo every inch of her body soul & mind.
Love
I had never laid eyes on such extravagant beauty, truly bewitching, leaving none to spare; not even an ounce of compassion, compelling all to fall victim to her spell. I have no choice but to surrender and feast upon this fascinating creature.
"You're like music to my ears, echoing in the shadows at the darkest times.
You're all that's good in my heart.
I breathe every breath for you.
I seal every kiss for you.
I dream every dream for you.
My beautiful nightmare"
Blaze
The simmers of embers lit against the internal cauldron, a furious white heat scalding with flames.
The women attempted to free herself but to no avail. She could already feel the smoldering heat wave on her venerable skin.
The poor soul screamed desperately for mercy but the intense flames swallowed her voice, consuming her frail frame.
A blanket of red and orange silk leaped at her like a spring, teasingly. As the roaring flames inched closer and closer as the helpless women became the prey, the malicious churning fire the predator as if dancing demons an aggressive beastly inferno raged; a tiger, red hot and livid engulfing her, leaving no road for freedom.
The smell of the ignited flesh smelt sickly sweet and acrid, lingering on my nose forever like charcoal making me feel nauseated instantly, killing the appetite in my mouth causing my pallet to fold against the roof of my mouth as if to block my gullet to resist an urge to gag in disgust.
The holocaust of smoke began to overwhelm her lungs as she coughed violently above the blazing hot tornado. Her flesh was seared to the bone, I knew if I stayed any longer my eyes would have to endure her endless torture but I couldn't pull away, my gaze fixated upon her as a one of the many spectators to her pain.
All she could do was to wait for the horrible sickening pain to burn itself out, though the thought seemed an eternity away.
