Chapter One:
Once Upon a time...
I was momentarily frozen as the stinging cold air attacked, as if I were Titanic drowning in pools of ice.
Silence; complete utter silence.
Are you familiar with the saying 'the calm before the storm'?
You may have your reply but first, let me tell you mine.
We are very well acquainted, to the extent that I would describe our relationship as one of intimate companionship.
A sudden awareness overwhelmed me as my traitorous body sensed his arrival, shivering in both fear and anticipation. Beads of sweat glistened on my face, travelling lower towards my sensitive buds which peeked up in arousal. It is as if I were two separate entities; my body and my soul, never uniting as one no matter how vigorous the battle.
He was simply divine, so utterly beautiful. I always cowered away in fear that I may turn to stone. He was my Medusa, so utterly entrancing, walking towards me as a predator would to their prey. He came closer and closer, eventually reaching his destination.
He raised his unmarred hands as if to caress me; gently stroking my cheeks, treating me like brittle glass that could shatter at any moment. He smiled tenderly down at me, destroying my defences, stealing every last breath. Butterflies erupted in my stomach, creating a hope that maybe for once; I will please him.
Until he spoke.
"This is where you've been hiding? That was bad of you, you know?" His deep husky voice spoke out to me, shocking me to the core.
"You shouldn't have run from me, you know better... but alas, I do love a good chase once in a while." he drawled smirking, sending shivers down my body.
His smirk turned from playful to angry within seconds, as he crept even closer, uniting us as one. I could taste his breath mixing with my own; feel his erratic heartbeat as his body shook with fury.
"Why did you run?! I told you to stay!" he shouted, his voice booming through the trees. I retreated away only to have him mirror my movements in eager pursuit.
"Do you EVER listen to me, you disobedient little bitch!" he continued. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. He was even more angry now, why do I always do this!
Yes, you stupid little girl... he's finally going to give you what he always wanted. He's finally going to end you.. You pissed him off now, how daft can you possibly be? Ridiculous.
Not again.. Not the voices, I thought as I mentally scolded myself. How could I do this again? He was going to hurt me, I just knew it. At times like this I wish death would pay me a visit just to prevent the endless memories that haunt me in the wake of his destruction.
At least he'll get his wish, I thought.
My sweet death.
His rage was becoming uncontrollable, each time I thought it couldn't get any worse, he proves me completely wrong!
My head flew to the opposite direction as his hand left a burning sensation on my face and not the good kind either. For reasons beyond my understanding, instead of pain, I felt admiration; perhaps I have become immune to pain, just like him. He was dark, he was ferocious. He was ruthless and cruel. Yet he was just as beautiful as he would be happy.
My own angel of death.
What is wrong with you, I thought. You shouldn't be thinking about how attractive he is whilst he just sits back on his throne and enjoys your despair; he's a monster!
Evil!
Wicked!
Heartless!
I had really done it this time.
He roughly grabbed onto me, clutching at my arms, squeezing so hard bruises would surely occur. "I gave you life, I gave you love; I gave you everything you need and could possibly ask for! And this is how you repay me?"
For a moment I thought he was done.
Done giving me scars. Scars of torture, excruciating pain... irreversible hurt. Scars of love.
"Look at me, you fool!" He growled.
I couldn't bear it. Couldn't bear looking at him knowing that I was the cause of all this. I just wanted to get away... Just for a moment.
I always found my way back.
He knew it.
I knew it.
Wherever he goes, I follow.
He was home.
He grabbed my chin, waves of pain shoot through me violently as he jutted my chin toward him,"I said look at me!"
His hard eyes glared, the once blue gems I loved turned into a pitch black abyss, his body physically quaking, a worthy contender for the tsunami.
"When I ask you to do something I expect you to do so, understood?" he asked.
My eyes were downcast, "Understand!" he asked again, demanding an answer. When he didn't get one he tugged just a bit harder making me bite my lip from pain, from screaming out.
I looked up just a fraction, enough for him to see me and just enough to deem acceptable in his books.
"I understand" I said, my voice low and fragile. Meek like a mouse. It sounded nothing like me. It sounded broken and full of fear. His eyes softened just the fraction.
But I knew better.
He tells me he loves me, yet he hurts me. He caresses me as if I was the most fragile thing in the world but yet fully intends on breaking me.
How the hell do I deal with this man?
How did it come to this?
How did I let it come to this?
Everything changed.
He changed. They changed...
I changed.
My world tumbled down on me- this I knew a long time ago- leaving me with nothing but sorrow and pain. Nothing but hurt. I longed for it to vanish. I just wish it would all go away; a dream, no, a nightmare.
It was him who was a beautiful nightmare, and I was eternally trapped within his mind.
"I may seem crazy
Or painfully shy
And these scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I feel alone here and cold here
Though I don't want to die
But the only anaesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside"
- Plumb, Cut.
