⋱𓂅 𝐓𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃.

𝐬𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧.

𑁍┊사랑병 ˎˊ˗

( xvi. superficial love thing )

-

"big brother! when can we meet your boyfriend?!!!" klee ran into the kitchen, where razor and his mother, lisa, were sitting, eating breakfast and preparing klee's lunch for school. the dogs and the one ferret were chowing down on their own food— and razor choked on his orange juice when those words flew through the air.

boyfriend?!

"wh—what?! klee- what are you talking about?!"

lisa crossed her arms and quirked a brow, eyeing razor. "oh? razor has a boyfriend, klee?"

"no i don't, mom— she is - lying, i do not," he said, frantically waving his hands in the air, "where di-did you hear that?"

"i thought— oh no! i said too much! klee is in trouble with big brother! oopsie! i forgot my backpack in my room!!" klee frantically ran up the stairs, and razor growled under his breath.

"where do you— think you are going?!" razor almost ran after her, before his mother grabbed the back of his shirt to stop him. she quirked a brow again.

"is she telling the truth?" lisa asked. she knew of razor's sexuality. she herself was a lesbian, so she, of course, had absolutely no issue.

"no! i never— had boyfriend... don't know why klee would ...," wait, unless... razor suddenly remembered that klee talked to bennett a week ago. and he also suddenly remembered that bennett had informed him of the situation, but he did not think klee would blurt it out in front of his incredibly nosy mother. but he'd decided to ask a question, just to make sure.

the little blonde came running back down the stairs with her giant backpack— what was she carrying in there anyway?

"klee, what is my 'boyfriend's name'?" razor asked.

"oh!!! klee knows!! your boyfriend's name is adrie—i mean bennett!" oh, right.

"oh how wonderful, can we meet him, razor?" lisa's eyes widened for a moment before squealing in happiness. her son had never had a boyfriend or a crush before, so she was absolutely ecstatic, overjoyed to hear the news. meanwhile, razor's face was as red as a cranberry.

"please no...," he mumbled, not being able to say the rest. razor slung his backpack over his shoulder before heading out the door with everyone. before lisa got into the car to drop klee to school, she pulled razor off to the side and quickly said:

"ask bennett if he can come by this saturday, please please please!! i really want to see who stole my little son's heart! oh, also, there's a condom in your backpack. use protection, we talked about this."

"wai—" protection?!

"bye kiddo!"

razor was too embarrassed and flustered to even respond. he just stood there for a moment— his face a shade of red that shouldn't even be seen by the human eye. he knew he had to find a way out of this.

-

wolfy is online!

wolfy
bennett.. problem

bennettslifesucks is online!

bennettslifesucks
oh no! what's wrong??? WHAT HAPPENED IS IT BAD

bennettslifesucks
also pls reply quick my class is about to start in like *checks watch* 7 minutes

wolfy
my.. mom want to meet you

bennettslifesucks
OH! HOW IS THAT A PROBLEM?! THAT SHOULD BE FUN!!!!

wolfy
... bennett... she think.. me and you .. are

wolfy
because.. klee

bennettslifesucks
😳

bennettslifesucks
oh-

bennettslifesucks
OMG THIS IS MY FAULT, IM SORRY

bennettslifesucks
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO

bennettslifesucks
I WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU, IM SORRY I DIDNT THINK KLEE WOULD SNITCH ON ME

bennettslifesucks
DO U WANT ME TO PRETEND TO BE UR BF LMAO

wolfy
.. actually

bennettslifesucks
oh

bennettslifesucks
are are are you srs— i didn't think you—

wolfy
bennett.. stop talk..

bennettslifesucks
😳

bennettslifesucks
🤐

wolfy
bennett.. will you be my .. not real boyfriend.. for a day

bennettslifesucks
LMA—

bennettslifesucks
oh .... you're deadass

bennettslifesucks
i thought you'd never ask, my love 🥰😘😘

wolfy
...bennett.. am blushing ... embarrassed

bennettslifesucks
HAJABSJDDKFKFJF SORRY I WAS GETTING INTO CHARACTER 😍‼️

bennettslifesucks
WHEN DO U WANT ME TO BE UR BF

wolfy
sat.urday my house

bennettslifesucks
ok that's perfect i'm free

bennettslifesucks
BYE MY DEAREST 😚😘

wolfy
bye

bennettslifesucks is offline!

wolfy
...

wolfy
❤️

wolfy has deleted a message!

wolfy is offline!

-

a/n:
PLEASE I REALLY WANT LISA TO EMBARRASS THE SHIT OUT OF RAZOR IM SO FUCKING EXCITED

question of the day: when did u guys start playing genshin??

i started right when the first childe banner ended/ beginning of zhongli banner and fell in love with razor. i swear if i didn't see razor i would've never played 😳‼️