The day after the meeting at Beyers

Welcome to my hell

,,Where is she?"
No where were you son, are you OK? Just where is she?
Like he didn't mattered. Maybe he didn't, at least according to his father he didn't mattered.
His father often wished that he didn't existed, right know he himself wished that too.
It would be so much easier not to exist, then doing this.
,,I don't know, Sir."he whispered, without looking up. He just couldn't look up, couldn't bear to look into these cold eyes. That just told him how much his father despised him. These eyes that only ever looked concered when it was about Max.
There was no way he could look his father in his eyes.
Not only that his father would interpret it like a challenge from him.
No, he couldn't stand what he would see.
If they weren't cold, it would be even worse. The anger, the hate and the worst of all.
Sometimes he could see happiness flicker into his fathers eyes.
After all his father seemed to ge happy to find a reason to beat him up.
How fucked up was that?
Sometimes he wanted to yell and say, your my father, you are supposed to love me!
Why can't you do this?
Are you as you broken as I am going to be?
,,You don't know."the words came slowly and thoughtful. As if his father was considering what it meant.
But he didn't let his hopes get up, after all he knew the outcome.
It was always the same way.
,,I don't know. I'm sorry Sir."he hated saying this.
It was just false. He wasn't sorry, because it wasn't his fault. And he hated when he had to pretend he respected his father.
No way, he would ever respect that piece of shit.
And Max?
Hell, she was old enough to take care of herself.
At her age he even had to cook for himself.
No one had ever looked out for him, so why did she deserved something better?
,,So you don't know. You spend a night away from home, drinking with your friends, when you should have been looking for your sister."
His blood turned instantly cold. How the hell came his father to this conclusion?
On many other nights his father accusation would be right.
Then he understood.
Max, the fuckung brat drugged him and now he looked drunk.
His eyes were probably bloodshot and his hair most be a mess.
,,I'm not drunk, Sir. I swear."
But know he recognised it himself. His speech was slurred and awfully slow.
God, he was so fucked.
,,You swear."
Then happens something deeply unsettling.
His father smiled.
,,We will discuss this properly, won't we?"
He swallod hard, discussing was a nice word to describe it.
God, he hated this smile, it always crept him out. The doorbell saved him, at least now.
The shrill sound echoed through the house.
,,We will talk later."promised his father.
The his father turned around and walked away.
Slowly he exhaled and took a deep breath.
He could hear his father talking too the chief and then he could here his sisters voice.
Max was home and his father acted all gratefully and happily about it.
As if he liked Max, well maybe he did.
After all Max was the good sibling, she wasn't the gay son who messed everything up.
No, that wasn't true, there was a much more simpler reason.
She just wasn't Billy.
She wasn't a reminder of Neil's former wife.
Soon after the chief came he left.
And then happened nothing.
But Billy wasn't dump or at least not completely.
He knew that that didn't meant there wouldn't be a punishment it just meant the punishment would came later.
And when it did it would be worse.
Because then it would be a calculated act of the hatred, anger and disappointment of his father.
Also his father liked to enjoy the fear.
Every move of his father was a threat and a promise.
But at least he knew to use his time.
Not to far away was a illegal cage fighting club.
It was both a opportunity to make money and too learn fighting himself.
Maybe one day he would fight back and win....
...............
In the school everyone stared at him.
,,Have you heard what he did too Steve?"whispered one girl when he passed her
,,Yeah he's a mess."answered her friend.
And that was the Monday after the fight.
In this littel shit town, the fight from him and Steve would probably still be discussed years from now.
He would be so done, if his father found out.
Some nights he just lay awake ready for it to happen.
He stared at the ceiling motionless and waiting.
It was actually a surprise when it happened.
He had just driven Max to the arcade.
At least this time he had actually done what his father wanted from him. His father wasn't supposed to be home.
But then his father did may things he wasn't supposed to do. That was his only silly thought at that time.
The hit took him by surprise and left him dazzled and stunning.
Somehow Billy was almost grateful that it would be over soon.
Then at least he wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.
Because then it would be over.
,,Did you really thougt I would let you get away with it?"
,,I'm sorry Sir."was all he managed.
All he ever said, because his father didn't wanted a long excuse, just an apology.
No excuses, because no excuse was ever good enough.
Then began the real pleasure.
His father stared with throwing him around and few good blows, to wake him up. Then the real fun started. He went down.
At some point he always did.
Sometimes his father stopped then.
,,Stand up and be a man." As usual he tried and failed. Not because of a lack of trying but because of the kick in his face. Then came the really horrifying sound. With a clack his father unbuckeld his belt and took it of.
Thus wouldn't be one of the times his father would stop.
,,Take your shirt of."
,,Dad, Sir please no." He hated himself for begging, for being so weak. But he couldn't take a beating like this. He was used to the normal routine beating, but this? This would kill him or get as near as Neil ever came too.
,,How do you dare to say no? Take it off."
Billy swallowed hard and managed trembling to get his shirt off. Before the shirt reached the floor the first hit came.
He cried out unable to hide his surprise and pain. Then the next hit with the belt came and then a kick with Neil's steel boots followed.
The pain seemed to swallow him until there was nothingh left to feel anymore.
Until there was only pain.
He's going to kill me, was his only thought.
I'm going to die here, alone and a asshole in everyone's eyes. On a cold floor far away from warm beaches, I going to die.
He curled himself up and prayed that he would life. I want a future, I want to be better then him, was his only thought.
You deserve it, wisphered a little voice inside him. He could feel his body breaking under the hits and his back was soaked in blood.
He closed his eyes and waited for the end. Slowly he lost conscious and everything became dark.
It was blissful darkness, a darkness that numbed him. Still he was afraid, but at the same time he was grateful that he hadn't to deal with pain anymore.
Actually he was surprised when he opened his eyes and was still alive. His body ached in a dozen ways but he was alive, he hadn't thought that would be possible. Slowly he pulled himself up.
Now he could feel it for sure, his ribs were broken and he had a dislocated shoulder but nothing too serious. Astonished he looked at the blood puddle. Who would think that a back could bleed this much?
Of course he took care of himself and then he cleand the floor. With gritted teeth he whipped the floor clean. Neil had planned well, it seemed.
It was Friday and not only he had time to recover for school, but his father also had destroyed his weekend plans properly.
Killing two flies with one strike.
.................
The next the day started with a monstrous headache and pain in his abdomen. It took him ten seconds to reach the bathroom and five minutes to throw up. With relief he checked and found that there was no blood he had thrown up.
,,You should drink less. Then we all could start our morning normal. Would be better for you too."advertised him Max. The anger came instantly and flash trough him, hot and boiling up. But he just closed his eyes and breathed slowly in and out. I'm not my father, I'm not my father.
He clinged to this mantra, until the anger faded away. He could here her steps fade away. Hopefully she was the only one awake or his father would give him shit about waking him up. And Billy couldn't take another beating.
Carefully he listend and was relieved when he didn't heared anything.
Slowly he got up and dressed himself.
Groaning in pain he buttoned his shirt up.
Of course his father didn't leave a bruises on his face but his abdomen was black and blue.
His complete torso looked like an abstract painting. An ugly abstract painting.
Carefully he limped his way to the dining room.
,,Wow you look awfull. I think karma has it way."
There was no pity in her words and he was glad for it.
But it would have been useful, on the other side.
The next part would be painful, not physically but mentally.
,,Please just don't tell Neil,Ok?"
She stared at him in complete disbelief.
,,Was this just a please that came out of your mouth."
,,Yes don't cream your pants."shit he tried to be nice, but his sister made it nearly impossible.
But then nothingh is really impossible, not if you are desperate enough.
,,Just don't tell him I throwed up or he will kill me, he is still pissed about the night you went missing." Enough to make her feel a littel guilty, but not enligh to make her pity him.
,,I didn't went missing you went massaker."
Really?, thought Billy. Maybe I went massager, but you went missing too, or why else would the chief feel the need to bring you back?
,,Whatever. Do we have a deal?"
,,Yeah whatever."
She didn't needed to know how important it was for him.
No one needed to know.
...........
The whole day was shit.
His father yelled at him before dinner, because he didn't did his house chores.
Yeah sure.
Like it wasn't enough that he put the trash out and cleaned the house most times.
But he was never allowed to cook.
Not even now, when it was obvious that Susan couldn't cook to save her life.
Another of his father sexistic unreasonable decisions.
At dinner he felt completely uncomfortable under Neil's gaze.
It gave him the creeps.
He thought he had paid his depth with the beating yesterday, but it looked like there was a second round waiting for him.
Just great.
,,There is a party at a friends house, can I please go?"
Stunned he looked at his stepsister.
,,Sure, your brother will drive you, won't he?"His father glared at him and Billy understood.
He swallowed every of his usual answers.
This was not the moment to argue.
,,Yes. Do you need a ride back in the morning? "
Now it was Max time to look at home in utterly bewilderment.
Since the incident at Heyers they hadn't really talked.
Sometimes he looked at him like he was scum, but that was pretty much all.
He could handle nasty looks and everything she had prepared for him.
But that doesn't meant he couldn't try to be nice too her.
Sometimes he had these strange thoughts.
As if they somhow took the wrong turn and popped up in his brain, confused not knowing what they did there.
,,Yes . But Steve could give me a ride too."
In her eyes he could already see the suspicion.
As if he just had announced he would give her a ride and then crash the car.
,, It wouldn't be a problem."
,,But I would come back really late and Steve is already there."
It was clear now to him that his sister didn't wanted him there.
Not his problem, thought Billy.
After all she just should be glad he tried to be nice.
Plus he just needed an excuse to be away from the house.
,,No problem. He will wait for you and make sure that nothing happens."ended Neil the argument.
Billy couldn't trust his ears.
He didn't knew if he should be delighted or terrified.
On the one side he was out of the house for hours, but if something happened to Max he was dead.
And he wasn't sure if he could already drive.
The injuries pained him even now.
But he didn't wanted to argue with father.
That was the reason why he sat there hours later on the Cameron and waited for Max.
He held a book in his Hands and was bored to death.