Give Up On Me

Arrival

Throughout the entire drive giddiness had slowly buried itself into his chest, and by their arrival at the house, Chris' entire body was warm with glee. He was simply elated, and as he laid on his bed staring at the ceiling, ignoring his impending worry that he would somehow stain the white sheets, Chris had never felt better.

His mind couldn't stop racing with his plans for their vacation, what felt like a permanent smile etched onto his face. It felt nice, grinning like this. He was so caught up in his joy that he didn't notice the figure looming in his doorway until it shifted it's weight, creaking a floorboard beneath its feet. Chris lifted his head curiously to see Jordan leaning against the the wall of his room, laughing silently at his friends goody smile.

"Hey, didn't see you there"

Chris laughed as Jordan rolled his eyes, pushing off the wall to sit next to him on the edge of the bed. "That's cause you were too caught up in your day dreaming, Peach."

Chris couldn't help but giggle at the nickname, although he didn't know where it came from. Jordan was always coming up with random names for him, striking up a warm flame in his heart whenever he was being beckoned with another pet name.

"What were you thinking about?" Jordan nudged Chris' foot, grinning when he sat up to lounge next to him. Jordan shifted closer, pressing their arms together in an attempt to show Chris that he could talk comfortably. Although, he was not aware of the way Chris' throat closed and his face heated up when they touched.

"Just our plans for the trip. I'm super excited for going to the beach and checking out the city." Jordan smiled down at him, and Chris was suddenly aware of the height difference, yet he didn't mind. Craning his neck to look almost half a foot up at Jordan was worth seeing his charming smile and green eyes that were crinkled in the corners.

"Ya, it'll totally be fun. I'm definitely going to enjoy my time with you."

Chris looked down at his lap nervously, trying to avoid looking in Jordan's eyes for fear of falling head over heels yet again. But then Chris felt a soft hand brush against his chin as Jordan slowly moved his head to look at him. He felt his face get hot at Jordan's hand lingered on his chin, and he prayed Jordan couldn't feel his blush.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jordan pulled his hand down, nervously wiping his damp hand on his sweatpants. Chris felt his skin tingle where a memory of the touch remained on his cheek.

Chris averted his eyes from the man beside him, instead forcing himself to appreciate the stitch work of the duvet cover he was sitting on. He felt Jordan's eyes burning silent holes in the back of his head, yet he remained turned to the side.

Eventually, Jordan cleared his throat and lifted himself off the mattress, and Chris immediately found himself missing the feeling of their bodies pressed against each other.

"Alright, I have some things to unpack, but I'm pretty sure Max is ordering some pizza for dinner, so I'll call you down when it gets here."

Chris nodded, and smiled, hiding the sad look in his eyes as Jordan retreated down the hall.

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That night Chris scarfed down three peices of pizza, and, much to his dismay, spent the following twenty minutes in the bathroom dispelling it. No one questioned why he took so long, or why his breath smelled of fresh mint toothpaste. They didn't question why his eyes were red and his throat was hoarse.

Jordan, however, did question why Chris was shaking. "Just cold", he replied, though it was a warm 70 degrees in the house due to the stifling heat beating against the walls of the house outside.

Jordan still wasn't sure, so when Chris beckoned for Jordan to sit next to him, he happily obliged. Chris watched with wide eyes as Jordan pulled a knit blanket over the two of them, pressing their legs together in an attempt to warm them up. Chris immediately felt too warm for comfort, and the way his skin burned with affection under the touch didn't help, yet he only snuggled in closer as they watched Max turn on a random Disney movie.

Half way through the movie, Chris felt a lump form in his throat as Jordan rested his arm upon Chris' shoulders, pulling him the tiniest bit closer. Chris glanced over at the man whom he was basically cuddling by this point, but his eyes were glued to the screen, lips tugged up just the slightest bit.

Max was curled up in the loveseat, back to them when Chris leaned his head gently on Jordan's shoulder, holding his breath for fear of being rejected. But much to his surprise, Jordan tucked Chris' head under his chin, raising one hand from his lap to wrap around the frail boy laying beside him.

Chris felt his breath hitch in his throat, heart pattering rhythmically, orchestrating a song confessing his love that he knew he would never sing.

Jordan noticed the way Chris tensed, and he smiled silently as the man slowly began to relax in his grip. Chris felt more comfortable in his own skin than he had in years, momentarily forgetting all of his worries in order to slowly drift off in Jordan's loving arms.