The Artist's Wife (BWWM)

Chapter 9~ Let's

"Mrs White! Ma'am!" Dora, my personal assistant was calling as I snapped out of the trance I had been in. I had no idea how I had slipped into that old memory, memories I didn't want to remember ever again.

"Yes," I answered shakily. I was holding my left arm and rubbing the old scar that never truly healed till now. I didn't know what had brought back the memories of my painful childhood, all I knew was that I needed to be alone now.

"Are you okay ma'am? Shall I send for a doctor? It seemed like you had frozen for the past ten minutes now," Dora explained, still visibly worried. She was wiping her blue eyeglasses on her skirt now, putting them back on and peering at me oddly. "Or should I call someone for you? Your husband, perhaps?"

That's the last person I want to talk to.

"No, just leave me alone. Please." I dropped my head into my arms, closing my eyes and wishing I could burn all unpleasant memories in my head. Sometimes, I wished we could sieve off bad memories into a container or something, to get rid of them.

I heard Dora leave my office, closing the door behind her with a snap and got up to get my brown, leather jacket, pulling it on because I was suddenly feeling like I had put on a shawl woven with the coldest ice.

It's amazing what just a memory of her could do to me.

I paced round my newly acquired and furnished office, that's right, I got a job in White Industries. It was funny how just a month ago, I was an overworked secretary at that fabric company downtown and now, I was one of the board of Directors for one of the biggest companies in existence. Fate was a funny thing if we were being honest.

My employment was actually quite accidental to be honest. I was sent to drop off some budgets by my father and I had mistakenly barged into an investors meeting with an Australian company. I wanted to leave immediately but Mr White signalled for me to take a seat. I sat through the boring meeting and near the end, the material contractor made an analysis error which I unthinkingly spoke up and corrected. My father-in-law had been impressed.

A week later, I was given a job here. Mr White had gone through my credentials and files and observed that I had majored in Business Administration at the university, and he was totally impressed. Now, I had this sweet job and a nice office which kept The Jade-Eyed Bastard and I from running into each other often, not that he was around often either.

We had been married for a month now and we still barely talked even though we lived in the same house. Most of my work at the office could be done from home on my laptop, I only needed to be present for meetings, but I preferred coming to the office to avoid him. He seemed to be avoiding me too so it generally worked out between us.

I cleared my desk for the day and still shivered at the memory I had earlier, what could have triggered me into remembering one of my darkest memories? I picked up my handbag and locked up the office and soon, I was biding a still worried Dora, goodbye. I gave everyone an easy smile when internally, I was weeping.

Sometimes we just need someone to look past that forced smile and discover just how broken we are on the inside.

I was soon in my car, I was still driving my ancient, pink Cadillac, Bubble. I knew that I was richer than a small country now but I couldn't bring myself to replacing her. Call it sentimental value, if you may but we had been through a lot together and I wasn't ready to let go yet.

I was driving with one destination in mind, I hadn't been there in awhile and it seemed like the only place that could calm me down now. Entering the crowded bar, I immediately headed straight for the counter to the grouchy, bushy bearded, bartender. I plopped on one of the barstools and decided to call his attention to me.