The Artist's Wife (BWWM)

Chapter 35~ Forever

Listen to 'Stay with me' by Sam Smith.

It was dark, really dark and I had even given up on keeping track of time since I left the church. I drove around for a while, with no destination in mind before driving back to the secluded castle, I kept pondering on what I would say to my husband.

So far, I had come up with nothing tangible or remotely sensible.

I came back to tell you that I wanna try and make things work between us because you make my heart do backflips and this really cute Nigerian guy who may or may not be a figment of my imagination said so. Yeah, that really sounded sensible.

I parked the silver Jeep by a midnight black Mercedes, one of Evelyn's cars and sighed before getting out, it had been a very long day and right now, all I wanted to do was crash on my soft bed and sleep till next week, hopefully waking to find out my whole life was just a very horrible nightmare.

However, I couldn't. Not without talking to my Jade-Eyed Bastard. He was mine.

I progressed slowly to the west wing where Gerard's room was situated and lifted my hand to knock. I rapped twice on the magnificent wooden door and after few seconds of silence, I repeated the action. Puzzled, I pulled at the doorknob and turned it open, walking in to meet an empty room. My first thought honestly was that he had ditched me here and gone back to New York until I noticed all his stuff were still how I had left them when I barged into his room earlier. He could have left actually left his stuff and gone back though but I just knew he was still around.

I went over to the artificial fireplace and glared over at it, pondering my next course of action when my eyes fell on the sketch on the small glass table.

I recognized it instantly as another copy of the drawing of me he had made the night he confessed he was an insomniac, only this time he had drawn out the eyes and they stared at me in silent pain which I was sure was reflecting off mine in waves.

Jesus.

Gerard was a tortured man. He needed help as bad as I did.

It was one of the most realistic drawings I had ever seen and once again, I duffed my hat to the artistic genius I married. I hugged the sketch to my chest, wanting to have a tiny feel of his presence when I noticed yet another object on the table.

His ring.

I had never seen him without it before. Like ever.

I picked it up, the black chain dangling off it and stared at the old quote that now made sense to me now, it all clicked like the last piece of a complicated puzzle.

Love is lust without trust
~ILH.

Isabella Lisanna Hunter. This was my sister's ring, she gave it to him. It was why he was so obsessed with the old object. I pulled it over my neck without giving it a second thought and turned, met by a sight that knocked all the wind out of me.

God!

Aunt Evie was standing by the door, leaning on the handle as casual as possible. Gone were the black slacks, blue blouse and suede flats she had on earlier. She was dressed like a teenager going through a goth phase would dress, with her all-black outfit and tight, black leather jacket on. Her lips were painted with black lipstick and black eyeliner outlined her big jade eyes. She crossed her legs, showing off her black combat boots and smirked. I faintly wondered who the hell was in charge of her wardrobe.

"Honey, you look all white," she whispered, I wasn't sure if she was intending to creep me out but she was certainly doing a very good job. "Almost like you've seen a ghost."

I didn't reply, only squeezed the sketch tighter and felt some odd sense of comfort from that old ring around my neck. I tucked it into my hoodie and felt it come to rest above my right breast.

"He never leaves that thing, you know," Evelyn said conversationally, almost as if we were discussing something as mundane as the horoscope section of the newspaper. It took me a few beats to realize she was referring to the ring.

"Well, until today," she completed. "You really affected him."

"I don't understand," I told her, my feet still rooted to a spot as I stared at her in silent wonder.

She ran a hand through her greying auburn hair and got a really glazed expression on her features. "Losing a lover can be hard, it could drive you to the edge sometimes. You're now left wondering what's right or wrong. Death is such a cruel but inevitable fate."

I got the feeling she wasn't only talking about Gerard and Isabella anymore, it had gone deeper than that. This was her own story. I couldn't imagine how she was feeling now.

"Wow."

"Yes, and for some of us, we only get one chance at this love of a thing. I'm happy he's gotten his, please don't ruin that for him."

I was still quiet.

"He was going to commit suicide once, you know? I found him and called his mother. He used to call himself a murderer." Evelyn laughed mirthlessly. "That boy was damaged, pretty badly."

"But someway, somehow, you've healed him. My nephew looks happy again whenever he looks at you. That's a beautiful thing you both should not lose."

She moved from her statue-like pose at the door, walking up to me to pat me softly on the cheek. Her bony, frail hands pulled at my cheek and I wondered how I was supposed to react to this weirdness.

"You're good for each other, don't waste this opportunity. Life hardly gives second chances. I would know."

And with that, she walked away without even a second glance at my still stunned form. I dropped onto the red loveseat by the fireplace and gazed over at the bed where I had met him earlier and felt a nagging pain in my chest.

I had hurt him. I was hurt too. We could make this work out? Couldn't we? If only I could find him.

I had no idea where he was right now. I pulled out the ring and rubbed its smooth surface, thinking carefully until the answer hit me like a pile of bricks to the face.

I knew where he was and this time, I was going to face my fears and try to fix my problems.

Karina was no fucking coward anymore.

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