The Artist's Wife (BWWM)

Chapter 27~ Here

Listen to "I Don't Wanna Live Forever" by Zayn ft. Taylor Swift.

**

I felt pain.

The kind that you would give anything to get it to stop. I felt like I had gained weight and my body pressed down on the soft background of whatever I was lying down on. Sinking in.

My head hurt as I tried to coerce my eyes into opening to at least know what was happening. Was this how death felt? I had always thought it would be painless, I had to still be alive to feel such extreme pain. I gave up trying after another bolt of pain shot through my entire body.

Did I die and end up in heaven?

No, I dismissed all thought of my possibility of being dead because I couldn't end up in heaven even if my life depended on it, and lying down here didn't feel like hell either. It was painful, but no as much as I thought hell would be. My throat felt dry and I longed to scream out but was currently incapable of that.

I tried moving my arm but it felt heavier, almost like it weighed more than my whole body. I was trying to wriggle my fingers when I heard hushed voices, low and soft.

"What's she trying to do? Is she going to wake up now?" I recognized Gerard's voice but this time, it didn't contain its usual coolness. He sounded extremely worried. I hated that, I wanted to hear him talk all cool and soft, not agitated and worried.

"The painkillers are just wearing off, she's fine," an unfamiliar voice replied. It sounded cracked and dry, elderly. "But I still think it's best to let us transfer her to the hospital."

"She's not going anywhere. She stays here," Gerard said, his voice containing finality with just a hint of frustration. I could tell what he was trying to do and was deeply grateful for it; he was trying to keep my suicide attempt away from the public.

"Please." He sounded desperate now. "This stays between us."

"I understand, sir," the cracked voice said, reassuringly. "Let me give her another shot of sedatives."

I hardly felt the needle prick my skin before I drifted off.

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I didn't realize how much time had passed but when my eyes finally got the strength to snap open, I noticed a few things. Firstly, my left forearm was now heavily bandaged and lifting it was now going to be an issue.

Secondly, I was in my bed, dressed in a light blue free gown and completely no underwear beneath. It felt so breezy and I couldn't help but imagine who had handled my body when I was unconscious.

Third, I was currently staring up at The Jade-Eyed Bastard, his jade meeting my brown in a fierce gaze, burning with passion and what looked like anger. His hair was utterly dishevelled in the sexiest way possible and his jaw set into a hard line that I could bet would cut through stone.

The coldness of his next words shook me.

"What the fuck, Karina?" He was angry, and I could tell by his clenching and unclenching of his fist. "What kind of stunt was that?"

I didn't know what to say. No words felt good enough so I shut my eyes. "You don't understand," I managed to say.

"I do understand a lot. But suicide, really?"

"You should have let me die," I said, the walls of my throat feeling like they had been scratched with iron nails. "People like me aren't meant for this world, we're toxic and our negativity just keeps spreading."