Bittersweet | complete

Another extra

This is a chapter from a book I wanted to write like 3-4 years ago. There's only one chapter and I have no plans of continuing but you can read this.
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I stop my car and take the key out of the ignition.

How do I get in there now.

I swing open my car door and step out before swinging it back close quickly to prevent rain from from leaving the seats wet. I hold my handbag over my head and run as fast as I can into the restaurant...well as fast as my heels could take me.

Work had been terrible just like every other day and Tyler,my boyfriend invited me over for lunch. His presence would make my day better.

I glance around and see him sitting by a booth with a plate of salad already in front of him. He looked tired and looked at his food with disinterest, I guess work got to him too today. I make my way over to him and slide into the booth opposite him.

"Hey babe"

He looks up immediately and gives a small smile when he sees me. I place my hand over his that was on the table, "is everything okay? Was work to hectic for you?"

"I'm okay and work was okay too-" he starts to say with a smile but switches to a small frown, "-but we need to talk"

A frown makes it way on my face and before I could say anything, the waitress comes over to take my order, "good afternoon, what would you like to have today miss?"

I used my spare hand to pick up the menu and scan it, "I'd just have a plate of chicken salad and a glass of water.". She nods and writes it down before leaving.

"What do you mean we have to talk? Is it about my birthday tomorrow? I already told you that you don't need to plan anything. Just a day in with you is better."

He slides the hand that was under mine back to himself leaving me touching the table instead. "It's not that...it's just that you're turning thirty-four-",he drawls.

"And-"

"You will start expecting somethings that I can't give you"

I lean back and cross my arms, "like what?"

"Like marriage and kids-"

I groan out and smile at him, "I already told you that I don't want kids now"

"But you do want them don't you?"

"Of course I want to get married and have a kid later on"

"And I can't give you that"

I freeze and look at him, "what?"

"I can't give you kids or promise you marriage"

I try to laugh it off but it came out as a scoff instead, "we've been dating for twelve years,longer years than what most married couples have seen"

He takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose before exhaling, "all I'm saying is that I want to break up. I'm just twenty-eight old okay? I don't think I'd be ready to give you the happy life that you deserve when you want it"

I take a long deep breath before harshly exhaling, "I can't believe this" I whisper and hold my face between my hands while massaging my temple with my finger.

"Look, you're an amazing,sexy woman. You've still got time to find the man of your dreams"

Oh Lord,give me patience not strength cause I'll most likely beat him up.

"I'm turning thirty-four you buffalo,what's wrong with being thirty four? How can I even start all over again ? I've been with you for twelve years, TWELVE FUCKING YEARS!!, i even left my home,my friends and my dream job to be with you here and now all you're telling me is 'you've still got time to look for the man of your dreams'" I say and make a face as I mimick him.

The waitress returns with my food and if she heard me,she didn't say anything. She just directs an uncomfortable smile in my direction and leaves. I manage to murmur a thank you before she's out of ear shot.

"I just didn't expect things to end this way"

"Neither did I",I say trying to fight back he tears and succeeding.

He reaches over the table to try and touch me but I shoot him a glare that had him right back on his seat. I close my eyes and take deep breathes before picking up my fork and eating. I am pissed off,annoyed,heart broken and sad but most of all,I am so damn hungry. So, I decide to eat my salad with Tyler in front of me looking nervous as hell.

When I finished,I just pick up my handbag and stand up before looking at a nervous, sweaty Tyler, "you're paying for my meal and just come to pick up your stuff maybe next tomorrow", I say and leave the restaurant.

The rain is no longer heavy but drizzling which makes it so much easier to just walk to my car, not having the strength to run again. I didn't even bother to waiting a bit to calm down, I just started driving away. When I finally drove back to our house, that's when the water works came.

I drop my head onto the steering wheel and cry.

Twelve years,twelve fucking years just gone to waste. Well,that's what you get for dating a guy that's six years your junior.

I left my family, friends and my career in New York just to move to Sydney with him; stuck with a crappy job, distant friends and family. Why? Why did it happen to me? I sacrificed so much just for him to casually break things off like twelve years is nothing. WE EVEN BOUGHT A FREAKING HOUSE TOGETHER!!

I always wanted to be married and have kids but I didn't want to frighten or pressure him. I wantedhim to make that decision for himself. I let him take control of the relationship and now look where it got me. No family,no friends,no lover,no kids,I'm not even happy with the rest of my life. How can I start all over again at thirty four?

I wipe my tears and leave my car before making my way to the house. I dig through my bag for the key before finding it and putting it inside the lock and turning. When I open the door, sir and Pam come running to me wagging their tails. I drop to my knees to give them a hug as they peppered my face with kisses.

"At least you two won't leave me" I murmur and hug them.