Bittersweet | complete

Epilogue 1

Didn't proof read so there might be a lot of mistakes. Please call the mistakes to my attention. Have a nice day and merry Christmas.
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I feel a sharp pain and abruptly wake up. I press a hand to my heaving chest as I try to take in large gulps of air.

My brain feels fuzzy as I look around and try to remember where I am. I calm down a bit when I realize that I'm in my room but my eyes burn with tears when I remember why I awoke in the first place.

I press a hand to my lower abdomen and start to sob. I then pull my knees to my chest and rest my head on them when I feel Casper stir awake.

"Love?", I hear his raspy voice ask in the dark. I don't answer and I know he knows that I'm awake.

A soft light illuminates the small space of our bed as he turns on his bedside lamp. I feel his large hand softly caress my back.

There's silence and his soft touch is comforting which brings relief that I sigh at. "Want a hug?", he whispers.

"Yes please", I don't even complete my sentence before his large arms wrap around me and he pulls me close to his chest.

"Nightmare?"

I nod and he wraps his arms tighter around me, "baby blue?"

Tears sting my eyes as I slowly nod.

"I want you to know that it wasn't your fault, no matter what"

I nod again but this time with tears streaming down my cheeks.

There's silence again and I start to feel my chest getting heavy. Maybe if I ran faster or fought harder, Casper and I would be happy with my small baby bump. Casper kisses my forehead.

"Stop blaming yourself, none of this was your fault", he suddenly says like he was reading my mind.

I feel like a dam has broken and I start sobbing into casper's chest, "but it was. I lost Dakota and I lost blue. I could've done things differently but i wasn't smart enough or—"

"You saved Javier and Natalie. You saved your brother, you saved the rest of us", he pulls me back and looks into my eyes, "it wasn't an easy decision, it wasn't a position that any mother would would want to be in but you did your best"

"You've been through so much, stop blaming things on yourself that are out of your control"

I shut my eyes and cry silently. Casper presses his forehead to mine while whispering words of comfort. We stay like that for a while and I start to hear the sound of birds chirping.

We pull away and he glances at the clock by our bedside, "it's still early. Wanna sleep?"

I shake my head and bury my face in his chest which he softly chuckles at.

"Too comfortable huh?"

I nod.

"Okay then. Let's just cuddle"

He leans back and pulls me back down on the bed with him. He wraps an arm around my waist while the other lightly strokes my hair.

"I promise you that It'll be okay," he whispers, "it could take months or maybe years but I promise that it'll be okay"

I don't reply and soon I fall back asleep.

The next time I wake up, I feel a sudden weight on my torso and I realize that casper's arms aren't around me anymore. I peek open my left eye and see an unruly fluff of black hair.