Macto

16: She Will (Not) Be Loved

The texture of the mud clung to my knees as I collapsed onto the Earth. Physically, I was a statue, but my mind was an all-powerful tornado.

It was Déjà vu.

Josh's intoxication limited his resistance to Benz's attack. Each strike that plowed into my boyfriend's face sent a wave of stress throughout my body. Somewhere underneath that stress though, was relief. Relief that my reoccurring nightmare had no chance of transpiring. Relief that he was not going to touch me. Never.

A pained groan marked the end of Benz's assault.

"If you hurt her, or anyone again, I'll fucking kill you, you son of a bitch," Benz spat at my disheveled boyfriend and began walking towards me.

Tears began running down my face as my mind forcefully replayed the incident over and over again. My emotions built up uncomfortably quickly and without warning, the dam broke.

"Wh-why'd you do that?" I wasn't sure why I asked the question, because I was sure of the answer. It was the anxiety talking.

Benz's eyes darkened at least three shades until they were the color of the evening sea. Mud was slightly smeared across his face as evidence from the brawl; if anything it only accentuated the stone-cold look plastered on his features.

Time was a complicated element in the moment. According to my heart rate, it was occurring twice as fast as normal. But in terms of the rest of my surroundings, it was frozen.

He stood there. Fists clenched tight, jaw tighter, staring down at me, emotionless. Normally, it would've been embarrassing to be crying in front of someone I barely knew, but Benz and I had already had our fair share of intense encounters.

"I told you to break up with him," he stated simply, and in my temporarily limping mind, it was the worst possible thing he could've said. Anger bubbled at the thought that he was somehow blaming me for the situation. The reasonable side of my mind was screaming at me to stop being so irrational and crazy, but the panicked part was stomping all over its, rendering my logic speechless and ineffective.

"Shut the fuck up Benz! I-I didn't need your help! He's m-my boyfriend; I can handle him! You've done enough already for me, just-just go back to the party and leave me alone!" My vision blurred with another wave of tears. The words were just pouring out, without a single thought or meaning behind them.

Benz seemed to sense my instability because he didn't snap back at me.

My bawling must have stopped, because the sound of the wind bristling against the leaves became evident and clear.

I was almost thankful for my current inability to think clearly, I'd have lost my mind completely if I could. That was something I was sure of.

In an instant, my body was lifted from the ground benevolently and I waited for the rush of dismay to surge throughout my body, only for it not to arrive. No matter how much Benz confused me, or disliked me, or shut me down, a foreign part of me was sure that he would never physically hurt me. It was a part that hadn't spoken up in a very long time, not since my mother had left.

He had thrown me over his shoulder with ease, as if I were a feather. With half opened eyes, I observed the trailing sight of my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend trying to regain his poseur unsuccessfully.

"You're strong," I murmured with my head pressed against his back, my words sounding slightly muffled.

"Either that, or you're just not heavy," he chuckled, treading around the premises of the party.

The sound of crunching leaves and heavy breathing rang in my ears and I automatically tensed, worrying that Josh had regained its strength.

"What the fuck are you doing? Did you slip something in her drink?!" It was Max and the girl he was with earlier. Max's distress mixed with vexation was obvious from his tone.