Macto

19; Planes Go Down With Reality

"Your total is $54.50," I weakly smiled at the customer while handing her the detailed receipt.

The first day back at work seemed to drag on like never before. It was probably due to the fact that I was going to confront and break up with Josh, once and and for all, afterwards.

I nervously played with my hands, thinking of everything that could go wrong. The truth was that the list was endlessly long and horrid.

Dark circles rimmed my eyes due to lack of sleep from the never ending horror story that was my memory. His aggressive, forceful whispers played over and over again in my mind. Benz was never there to save me. I was not able to escape from my monster of a boyfriend. That was the reason I would abruptly wake up in cold sweats with stinging tears in my eyes every night since the party.

It seemed too real.

Benz and I had not spoken much within the last few days. It wasn't an awkward or angry avoidance, it was just natural separation.

In AP Language and physics, he would still send smirks my way and it was almost like I could interpret the message behind them. He was making fun of me for the little stunt I had pulled in front of his 'girlfriend'.

I was ecstatic that he did not freak out and take it seriously. Benz was able to laugh it off and make a joke of it. And of course, tease me endlessly.

Unfortunately, I was a different story. As much as I wanted to believe that I felt nothing after being three inches from the sarcastic asshole, that was not the case. The only thing I could do was fight off the emotions with as much force as possible and then ignore them.

After each wave of nightmares, there was always a quick relief. It consisted only of him. That's how I knew my feelings were not necessarily platonic.

That relief consisted of the Benz holding me against him, with my legs being the only part of my body not pressed against his. I had no care in the world, not a single worry. Because all I knew was that I was with the only person I could somewhat trust.

He would just walk with my body cradled in his arms. It wasn't exactly romantic, just comforting. The only thing I needed. I was never sure where we were going. But in the dream, I never cared. I was safe.

"Brita, your shift ends in five minutes," my coworker reminded me out of nowhere and I jumped at his words. Getting lost in my thoughts was an all too reoccurring event.

Only two more customers came to check out before the clock struck six and I packed up. All I could feel was anxiety and uncertainty. Images of Josh's predictable expressions blurred my vision.

"Goodnight Brita!" Marcus, my boss, yelled at as I exited the building.

The walk was only about twenty minutes, but it felt more like hours due to the temperature. December in New York was not a merciful time.

I purposely did not inform Josh of my intentions to visit him. Something inside told me he would stall and make an excuse for me to not to not come. I was done being abused and pushed around. The time had come to cut the cord.

My face cringed in pain as I knocked on the front door. It felt as if a hammer was pounding on my knuckles with each knock.

After several minutes of silence that resulted in frost bitten cheeks, I sighed in frustration and began to leave the doorway.

A black Audi caught my eye as I turned to exit the premises of Josh's home.

An eerie feeling subsided when I realized it was the car that Ella and Max shared.