Macto

20; The Untold Tales of Why

The most terrifying sensation in the universe is the feeling of complete and utter isolation.

As I treaded through the streets of New York, there were people all around me. Some were in cars, others were just taking a walk, and a few just on their way home.

Physically, there were humans all around me. But mentally, I had never been so alone.

The realization dawned upon me that I had no one left. Panic rose in my body and all I could think is how much I did not want to live anymore. Not exactly because my boyfriend had cheated on me with my friend, but because of the consequence that resulted from it. It left me without a single person.

My soul ached incredulously because of him. Benz fucking Maddox. His betrayal hurt the worst.

Why?

It was all I could ponder upon. All of the heartbreaking events that haunted my life seemed to be never-ending and callous.

The minute my body collapsed into the frozen powder was the moment I decided that I had reached my dreaded breaking point. All of my senses were amplified as I gazed at the sky above me that seemed to be somewhat smudgy. It took me a second to realize that the blurriness was due to the lingering tears that stung my eyes.

My unprotected hands gripped the snow, ignoring the icy burn associated with the action. I needed any type of pain, or distraction, to take me away from the one in my heart.

My eyes slowly drifted shut and I hoped that by doing that, I could escape my reality for a second. I hoped so desperately that my mind would clear and only focus on the darkness that swarmed in my closed vision.

But as fate would have it, his face was the only print. Memories of his merciless, yet addicting smirk clouded my brain. Flashbacks of the asshole talking passionately with his hands about his love for music and piano soon followed the images. He was everywhere. And every second of him made my heart pound relentlessly, no matter how much I hated him now.

In a moment of short lived strength, I gathered myself from the ground and began to my walk again. In every sense, I felt as if I had just ran a marathon. Except I hadn't trained for the run whatsoever and my body was paying the price now. My legs had one-hundred pound weights strapped onto them, making every step more treacherous than the last.

Deep down, I knew I was not going to be able to make it all the way home. Although I was only about a mile from the apartment complex, my mental state prohibited my body from attempting to make the distance.

My hand dug through my bag shakily in order to grab my phone, but it was nowhere to be seen, or felt.

The first noise I had made since the incident erupted as a groan when I remembered that I had left it at work. Luckily, Accardi's was in reasonable distance from where I was. Maybe Marcus would be able to lighten my mood, if that was conceptually possible.

The desirable aroma of fresh bread and homemade pastries struck me as soon as I opened the door. The scent was the only thing that made me feel at peace. It had remained a constant since I was a child; but the same could not be said for anything else in my life.

"Brita my dear, did you come back to work a little overtime?" My boss joked with a jovial smile on his face. It took every bit of power to return with a grin, although I was sure Marcus saw right through it. My conclusion was accurate, as his smile slowly melted and was replaced with a concerned, sympathetic expression.

Before he could speak or question me about my state of being, I spoke.

"I left my phone here, I'm just going to grab it and then go,"