Losing You Terrifies Me

Chapter 13

His hands were held firmly above his head, a hot mouth at his neck. This same man that haunted his dreams, all of his returned memories, biting at his delicate flesh. Will still couldn't see him, didn't know his face, but he smelt of old books and wine and spices, with a hint of coppery blood rusted over. It was dizzying.

And Will knew he was dangerous. Will knew that under the skin there was a monster trying to claw its way through and to Will to devour him, but Will couldn't bring himself to mind. Not when he was being pushed into a wall as soft as goose feathers. Not when this man's tongue got him drunk on wine. Not when the heat from his naked body warmed Will's winter frozen heart.

"Make love to me..."

Will gasped, eyes fluttering open, looking around the room. It was early, the first rays of morning barely able to penetrate the curtains. Will closed his eyes with a shaky breath, trying to push away the feeling of his erection tight against his boxers.

He wanted to turn over and go back to sleep, but the phantom feeling of hands on his skin kept him bobbing near the surface of consciousness until Will finally got annoyed enough to get up.

He glanced over his wife's sleeping form for a moment, an odd feeling of guilt washing over him at the dream he didn't consciously pick to have. With a frown, he moved to the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the steam fill the room.

Will could still feel everything, just as if it had happened. Kisses to swollen lips, a hungry tongue against his pulse that Will somehow had the feeling was trying to decide whether to silence the beating or not, fingers burning his skin with each and every touch.

"Our minds are very good at recording our senses and relaying them back to us."

Will groaned and stepped into the hot water, hoping that it would help sooth his skin, hide the burning from hands with burning from a downpour of rain. But it only heightened the feeling.

Will closed his eyes, trying to push the dream away, but it kept swimming in front of his vision, his own voice begging for love from a man. A man without a face. A man with long, artistic fingers and strong dangerous hands. A man with an accent that was protective.

Will's fingers reached down, taking his length in his hand and pumping it slightly, teeth biting lips so he would stay silent at the relief that flooded through him.

"Our minds are very good at recording our senses and relaying them back to us."

Was it a dream? It felt so real. His dreams always felt so real, but this one was different. There was no haze to it, just straightforward emotions. He wasn't sure what was real anymore and what wasn't. All of it twisted and turned and he struggled to find a time where he had been with a man.

He never had, as far as he was aware, although there might have been that one time in college. But that was a drunken kiss, if it really happened at all. There were a lot of things that Will realized he couldn't quite recall in his life, most laced with alcohol despite how much he hated when his father drank.

"All of your attention must always be on me."

Will couldn't stop the moan escaping his lips as the order was said in his ear, so very real. Hands pushed him against the shower wall, caressing him as he continued to work at himself with a steady hand.

"This is all about you. Don't think about anything but how this feels. Do you understand?"

Will nodded in answer to the voice, head against the cold tile of the shower, breathing hard.