𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐞 - rini

all too well .09

"underage drinking, nina?! what on earth were you thinking?" carol lectured nini on the drive to her moms house.

"you move out and this is what you do? hm?" dana shouts. nini sighs, "i'm sorry."

"sorry that you did it, or sorry that you got caught?" dana glared at her daughter, very disappointed.

"ugh, i can't even look at you right now!" carol rolled her eyes and continued to drive.

-

nini rolls her eyes at the sight of her moms name on her screen. she swipes the notification away and makes her way to instagram.

-

nini opens her front door, the door swinging and hitting the wall behind it. nini groaned at the loud noice, "shut up." she mumbled. she took her couch cushions apart searching for the remote. she put on spotify and pressing play on her playlist "i was going to be productive but nah". she sighs and tries to decide what to clean up first.

-

"no! seb, literally shut up! if you were a female you would for sure be named alison!" kourtney slaps the back of sebs head as the front door swings open, revealing ninis friends.

"nini! can you please tell these idiots to shut the hell up?!" ashlyn pulls their hand away that was connected to big reds hand, running their hands through their hair out of frustration.

"kourtney— it's not okay to slap seb. seb— stop instigating! god, you guys are like children, grow up!" nini shouts. seb flinched, who was she? nini was somber and kind to him, but not today.

"nins.. you good?" kourtney questioned.

nini sighed, "i'm fine. just frustrated. idontknowhonestlyivejust-" nini was cut off by the sound of her phone going off.

"you good nins...?" big red asked. nini rolled her eyes, "no! just go! just, go! leave! please! get out!"

ashlyn winced and then grabbed big reds hand and pulled them out. the rest of them left nini to be and walked out of her door. nini threw her phone to the ground and burst into tears.

so now he wants to talk to me! for years i wondered how to be the perfect kid so he would come back, and he never did. i tried so hard. why.

naomi flores. the new woman. when nini was 8 her dad divorced her mom and booked a one way flight to oregon to pursue his affair with naomi. a younger woman. not to mention she's some gorgeous supermodel that somehow was attracted to... well... him. naomi has 1 kid with ninis dad and that just wrecked nini.

nini wiped her tears and walked to her bathroom. she smiled at herself and wiped off the old mascara that was running down her face.

"it's fine. okay? you are fine, it's fine. you are- you are fine.. and it's- your-" nini stuttered as her eyes filled up with tears again. she tried to keep talking to herself but then her tears were falling into her mouth, a taste she remembered all too well.

flashback, ninis pov, age 7

my mommy and daddy yell a lot. but they love each other! my bff, mckenna, she lives across the street, her mommy and daddy are divorced. do you know what that is, diary? that means that when a mommy and daddy don't want to be married anymore and they move away. my mommy and daddy said they won't get a divorce. when they yell at each other i watch princess protection program that i got on tape for my birthday. i'm tired diary, i'm gonna go to sleep.

nini closed her diary and climbed up in her tiny bed, covered in stuffed animals and cheap princess dresses. nini hummed her favorite song, tell me something i don't know from another cinderella story. she tucked herself in, but wasn't able to fall asleep.

"i know that you two aren't just friends, dana!" her dad screamed. nini could hear her moms wails, "i promise to you! we are! i'm not- i'm not like that! that's a- it's a sin!"

"oh yeah, bullshit!"

"and i know that- that you're with that naomi from your gym! i know it!" dana replied, her words intertwined with sadness and disgust, all at once. and nini didn't know what a lesbian was, but if her dad said it was a sin, it was a sin. whatever it means to be a lesbian, it's disgusting and horrible.

nini got overwhelmed with the screams and shrieks and started crying. her breaths were loud and heavy and her tears were hot and salty. her hands were shaking and her mind was empty. nini didn't know it at the time, she didn't even know what anxiety was, but a couple years later she would get diagnosed with it.

"daddy?" she cried out, nobody heard her. she heard a loud smack from down the hallway, it snapped her out of the thoughts. what happened? did my daddy hit my mommy? she cried more, her sobs drowning out the sound of princess protection program on her small and old tv. dana came bursting into ninis room, wiping her mascara away.

"pack your stuff. you need to hurry up, cmon nina." and so she did.

november 11th, 2009

dear diary,

mommy and me are sleeping at her friends house named carol. carol is really nice to me, she gives me oreos and lets me watch hannah montana. mommy said we will go back to our house and see daddy again soon, i miss daddy.

end of flashback

nini looked at herself in the mirror, her tears now dry and her face pale. her face showed no expression, it was numb and so was she.