Heal me

I love you baby

"Hey, look at this, Mer!" Derek yelled excitedly to Meredith through the baby store. Meredith came over to him. He threw the onesie in their cart and Meredith picked it up. She started laughing hysterically. Derek was confused. "Why are you laughing?" he laughed too.

"Derek this is for a 3 year old. And it says 'best big brother'" she continued laughing. Derek realized this and blushed a little. "It's fine. Go pick out her diapers, we'll need around 3 packs to begin with" she said and patted him on the back. She left to continue shopping for baby stuff and she went on laughing at Derek. Meredith knew everything that their little girl would need once she was born. She was fully prepared. She picked binkies, bottles, little bowls, some cute baby bibs and onesies. The nursery decorations were up next so she went to go find Derek and take him to the home décor section. When she found him, he proudly show her the packs of diapers he bought. She looked at them. The first ones we 0-3 months. She smiled seeing he got it right. Then she frowned looking at the second and third one.

"My love, these are for 12- 15 months. Didn't you look at all of them before buying them?" she asked.

"Oh no. I thought they were all the same because they were at the same row. I'll return them" he said defeated.

"Well it's fine, just return them and get two more of these" she said pointing to the 0-3 months diapers. He went back into the store and came out with the right diapers. He grabbed Meredith's hand and they went into the home décor store to buy things for the nursery. They decided to go for white furniture so they can change up the color theme of the room from time to time. They arranged for all the furniture to be dropped off at the house and they went on to pick out all the decorations. They chose to go for a lavender color and not the expected baby pink. They didn't like the cliches. Meredith's favourite thing that they found was a beautiful lilac- lavender knitted blanket for the rocking chair she was going to be spending most of her time on. They were almost done shopping and both their pagers went off. Meredith had decided to specialize in neuro after all. That was her real passion. So she was spending her time in Derek's service.

They reached the hospital and went straight to the ER.

"45-year-old male, underwent major spinal injury, suspected need of spinal fusion. When we asked the level of pain the patient answered with a 15." The intern said to Meredith and Derek and handed Meredith the chart.

"Okay go book a CT so we can determine of the severity of the injury and the majority of the surgery. Book an OR in one hour the latest. This looks pretty urgent." Derek said to the intern. Once at CT Derek and Meredith were looking at the spinal injury.

"This is a mess. Will he lose mobility?" Meredith asked. "Maybe connect the third vertebrae right her too. It doesn't look injured but it looks like the second will create friction and problems with the pain over time"

"You're right this is a good idea. I'll page Yang to scrub in with me" he said and started to type Cristina's pager number.

"Excuse me?" Meredith said laughing bitterly.

"This will be at least 8 hours, I can't let you scrub in" he said.

"Sure you can't" she told him and left the room almost in tears. Part of her left because she was to proud to cry in front of him right now and the other part of her left because she would beat his ass of she stayed. She accepted the rules but 8 hours instead of six combined with a relatively slow day wouldn't hurt. She went into an on call room and cried for a bit making sure no one saw or heard her. She gathered herself and left the room like nothing happened. She went into the residents' lounged and plopped down on the couch.

Meanwhile Derek was starting to scrub in.

"Dr. Shepherd do you need a resident for the surgery?" an intern asked.

"Yes page me Meredith Grey" he said knowing she very much deserved this surgery after all. She came in and he motioned for her to scrub in but she didn't talk to him. She was still mad and if she talked she would cry so she chose to stay silent.

They began the procedure and Derek saw that spark in Meredith's eyes. The same spark she has when looking at him. She has that spark while looking at the spine too. And the brain. She was born to be a neurosurgeon. The procedure took about 7 hours, it went great and lasted shorter than expected. Meredith breathed a sigh of relief, walked out of the OR and scrubbed out. Both hers and Derek's shifts had ended and she went to the residents' lounge to get her things. She hadn't spoken to Derek since she stormed out that room. She was no longer mad at him as much but she knew that she wouldn't be able to talk to him without crying so she chose to not do that inside the hospital. She went and waited for him in the car. She texted him to meet her there. Once he came he looked a little sad. She only now realized what she had done.

"Meredith I'm-" he started but was cut off by her breaking down into tears.

"I'm sooorry" she said crying.

"Why are you crying" he said in a soft ,calming tone.

"Well I was mad at you for not letting me in on that surgery at first and now I'm sad for making you think I hate you and I'm hungry too" she cried. He hugged her tight.

"It's okay I love you. We can go home, eat and cuddle okay?" he said.

"Okay. But you can't ever deny me a surgery again, get it?" she said.

"When they are not too long yes" he smiled and she nodded. They went home to food and cuddles as they said.